Lately, when we hear the words “new Adam Sandler movie,” they ultimately prove to be followed by some horrifying, bottom barrel plotline that makes us regret ever considering ourselves a fan of the funny man (sorry, Sandler, I still remember That’s My Boy), but for all the Just Go With Its and Grown Ups (and its upcoming sequel), Sandler can still charm the hell out of an audience with stuff like Fifty First Dates and The Wedding Singer. The continuing thread between such fare? Co-star Drew Barrymore. So, it is with some excitement that we reveal news about a new Sandler/Barrymore pairing that actually sounds charming, romantic, and – get this - mature. Moviehole passes along a ton of information about the film (via /Film), including that it will reunite the pair with Wedding Singer director Frank Coraci, that it features a script by Ivan Menchell and Claire Sera, with revisions from Sandler and Tim Herlihy, and that is will film in Georgia and South Africa. Wait - South Africa? That’s right, because with Blended, Barrymore and Sandler are going on safari…with kids.

Consider it the the perfect genre storm of conventions – an end-of-the-world film that uses multiple storylines to unfurl its narrative. It’s Valentine’s Day meets Armageddon (or New Year’s Eve meets Deep Impact, if you’re nasty). THR reports (via ComingSoon) that Drew Barrymore has signed on to direct The End, a film that “follows multiple story lines as people reconcile their fate on their last day on Earth.” Written by television writer and producer Aron Eli Coleite, the film will encompass a hearty number of characters, including “a sixtysomething radio personality in London intent on broadcasting until the end, a father trying to make it through the chaos in Tokyo to reach his wife and baby and a teenage couple in the American Midwest being pulled in different directions by their families.” The film is a drama, but is also described as “uplifting and humanistic,” with an intent to focus more on life versus death.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads out to the drab English countryside to settle a woman’s estate only to find the place haunted. Fortunately, Kevin had already crawled down a mysterious hole and gained super powers, so he’s able to fend off the evil spirits. For a fleeting moment, he considers using his new powers for good, like to save a family of gray whales trapped under the ice in Barrow, Alaska. However, his fear of the 30 Days of Night vampires keep him at home. He then decides to use his new powers to read the subtitles of The Hidden Face so he can enjoy the copious amounts of pretty Colombian breasts.

We are told early on in Big Miracle that “everybody loves whales!” It’s both an excuse and a rallying cry and, had Ken Kwapis‘ film stuck with its first moniker, it would have also been the title of his latest film. Someone apparently had the foresight to slay that terrible name, but it’s still managed to worm its way into the finished feature, where it’s pronounced earnestly, practically begging for its audience to nod and say, “yep, it’s true – just everybody loves whales.” Strangely enough, it’s that tossed-aside title that sums up Big Miracle quite neatly – earnest, insane, and conducive to crowd participation and (positive) involvement.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly entertainment news column that doesn’t usually participate in such overt misogyny. However, in a week that has inundated us with more Michael Bayhem than the world was built to handle, it would like to take out its man card, flop it down on the table like a wet fish and display it to the world. Yes, this is about to get sexual. And no, it will not last long. That’s just how any good late-nite movie news linkdump rolls. It’s a slow news night. Allow me to illustrate right off the bat: Tonight’s lead story is about Brooklyn Decker, model-turned-actress and all-around attractive human being who has been cast in What to Expect When You’re Expecting alongside Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez. Chris Rock will also star. The only thing about this story that I find interesting is the image above, which has less to do with a movie based on a pregnancy self-help book and more to do with reasons why anyone would want to make Brooklyn Decker pregnant in the first place. I think we all still win.

What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

I’m going to share something with you. I have a sick obsession with sex movies. I don’t mean I always watch them with salacious intentions, because I have to draw the line between art and pornography somewhere. Let me be clear, I really enjoy a movie whose sole purpose is to titillate a viewer so much that they question what they are really watching. I’ve spent many nights snuggled up on my couch cringing my way through Catherine Breillat’s many sex shockers. I made a boyfriend attend a viewing party for the highly controversial, yet exceptionally boring, 9 Songs. I’ve even gotten into fights with Netflix over its recommendation of Salo based on my high rating of Irreversible. Those last two movies have nothing in common, by the way. Sex-centric dramas have been a secret, back alley passion of mine. But in all my years devouring these movies, I rarely see comedies that both deal frankly with sex and show it. Sex is usually the butt of a joke in comedies, rather than a catalyst for moving a couple forward.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr jumps feet first into the world of exploitation pictures. He rips off his shirt to show his prison tats when he sees Machete and then becomes a weapons expert to go head-to-head with George Clooney in The American. Finally, he cringes and rolls his eyes at yet another crappy real-life couple love story with Going the Distance. It’s sad when the highlight of his moviegoing weekend is a Lindsay Lohan nip slip.

You’re lying in bed with the clock reading some un-Godly hour in red analog, and you reach out your hand to find only the cold space of the other side of your bed. You want to pull the one you love close to you, but you can’t, because they’re gone. They aren’t on vacation or out of town for work. They are – for the foreseeable future – living in a completely different city. Most people have found themselves in this position. Even though the concept of the long distance relationship was probably invented when the first tribe realized there was a second tribe (or at least when war starting sending soldiers away for long periods of time), the struggle to keep the fire burning with mileage looming in between is especially appropriate for an age where you can find love on the other end of an internet connection. It’s the challenge of cross-country romance that the main characters of Going the Distance find themselves facing.

People are almost constantly worried about what Kristen Bell is going to do next because she gained a huge nerd following with one television series and hooked a larger comedy nerd audience as Sarah Marshall. However, even though it might sound like blasphemy, I’ve never really been terribly impressed with her acting. She’s cute, and she’s funny, and she’s beyond endearing, but she’s right where she belongs in rom-com land.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been anxiously awaiting the days when princesses, enchantment and fantastical adventures overtake the dark, brooding, vamping trends in teen-targeted entertainment.

In spite of the fact almost nothing was screened for them this week, Kevin and Neil meet in the Magical Studio in the Sky to not talk about movies. Instead, they discuss Kevin being a near body double for Taylor Lautner, Neil’s homoerotic fantasies about Neil Patrick Harris and how to tweet in Klingon. tIv cha’!

The true-ish story of Chuck Barris, who wrote pop songs, hosted games shows, and killed people for a living. (And the movie where Michael Cera tries to convince a girl his penis tastes like strawberry).

Uber sex-columnist Bethany Perryman takes a break from her usual assortment of tranny-loving, fetish-having columns and commands your attention to talk about something very important: a little girl-on-girl… er, girl-on-film.

Kevin Carr takes a look at this week’s movie releases, including Zombieland, Whip It and Capitalism: A Love Story.

Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut is a fun blast of unabashed girl power, with great performances and an honest look at a mother-daughter relationship. But there’s plenty for men too.

Neil returns from the pit of the Great Unwashed, otherwise known as Fantastic Fest. Kevin is stunned that he actually saw some movies this week but understands the Vegas odds of that happening when five flicks head into wide release. The Fat Guys talk toys, roller derby, capitalism and zombies.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve often had to ask yourself the ultimate question: Would you rather have (1) a free t-shirt, (B) girls on skates, or (3) grossly over-buttered popcorn? This Saturday, you don’t have to decide.

Fox Searchlight has released a brand new featurette for the upcoming roller derby movie Whip It, from first time director Drew Barrymore. Narrated by Ms. Barrymore herself, the featurette shows that this Austin-set film is full of girl power.

Fox Searchlight has released a brand new poster for their upcoming film Whip It, the directorial debut of Drew Barrymore. It urges you to be your own hero and whatnot.