If I was a different sort of person, the advent of a Facebook game for Dirty Dancing would send me into fits of rage, during which I’d say that Lionsgate was destroying my childhood with this little 16-bit diversion that involves Patrick Swayze’s gorgeous face or Jennifer Grey’s doe-eyed mug telling players just how to earn “romance waves” and “watermelon currency” – but, wait, did you read that right? It’s a 16-bit game that features Patrick Swayze’s gorgeous face or Jennifer Grey’s doe-eyed mug telling players just how to earn “romance waves” and “watermelon currency” – that’s just intrinsically amazing. We already know that Lionsgate is launching a remake of the film (to be directed by original choreographer Kenny Ortega from a script by Maria Maggenti), but the new game doesn’t just nod to the 1987 classic starring Swayze and Grey, it’s almost totally rooted in the trajectory of that first production. If Lionsgate is trying to keep up buzz for their new flick, they’re doing it, and doing it while paying serious homage to the original. Now that’s how you make fans happy.

A few weeks back, the inevitable happened – Lionsgate announced that they were tangoing and jitterbugging and some other type of dancing that no one does anymore right back into the Dirty Dancing fold with a remake of the smash eighties hit. But before fans could throw themselves into corners or off charming little Catskills bridges, Lionsgate also announced that Kenny Ortega, the original choreographer, had signed on as director. When the remake was first chattered about, way back in 2009, Lionsgate announced that Julia Dahl (Uptown Girls) would be scripting it, but with no attachment of Dahl’s name to the Ortega announcement, a new writer seemed inevitable. And now we know who she is – Maria Maggenti. Who? Maggenti’s resume is, in one word, bizarre. But bizarre in the way that it’s hard to get a feel for what sort films Maggenti is best suited to pen – there’s just no broad, sweeping generalizations we can draw from it (what a pickle). Maggenti most recently wrote the screenplay for Monte Carlo – but with no less than three other people contributing to a film adaption of a novel written by another person altogether. That’s five cooks in the kitchen. Even if Maggenti had a more established career and trademark style, it would still be hard to pin down her exact contributions to the film and how that will translate to this new Dirty Dancing.

We’ve known that Lionsgate was setting up a remake for Dirty Dancing since 2009, but after announcing that they’d hired Julia Dahl (Uptown Girl) to pen the script, news went dry. But, as is the case with any even somewhat viable property (blood from stones, the usual), it looks like we’re still getting that remake, with the news that Lionsgate has picked Kenny Ortega to direct the film. Dirty Dancing geeks (there have to be some, right? Like, all women everywhere?) will surely note that it was Ortega himself who actually choreographed the original film from 1987, and is the one credited with conceiving of the actual ahem, dirt, of said dirty dancing. Thank you for that, Kenny Ortega. He also directed two episodes of the Dirty Dancing television show from 1988 that nearly everyone has forgotten existed, which is tragic, because it starred no less than Melora Hardin (The Office) and Paul Feig (Bridesmaids). The show lasted 11 episodes, but I’d cut off my own two feet to get it on DVD.

Patrick Swayze died yesterday after a battle with pancreatic cancer at the age of fifty seven. But we all know that actors live on in their work, frozen forever at different stages of their lives and their careers. Some of them, like Swayze, are imprinted on our minds in roles that make them larger than life.

In an attempt to show the world that remakes will be the downfall of cinema as art, the folks at Lionsgate appear to be working on yet another useless rehash — a remake of the 1987 romance classic Dirty Dancing.

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