If you ask me, Brian De Palma has been really underperforming over the last decade or so. I think I remember seeing Femme Fatale and The Black Dahlia from him, and that’s about it. When was the last time I was truly excited to see a De Palma film? You’d have to go all the way back to when he worked with Nic Cage on Snake Eyes. Thankfully, the director has a new project in the works, and while it’s not quite as exciting as a re-pairing with Nic Cage, it does sound appropriately ridiculous. This time he’s working on a remake of a Burt Reynolds movie, with Jason Statham in the Burt Reynolds role. Probably not a lot of people remember 1986’s Heat, because by all accounts it was pretty bad. It’s the type of movie that goes through multiple directors over the course of its production, and then eventually forces the guy who has to take credit for directing to not even use his real name.

With the entire original run of The Twilight Zone available to watch instantly, we’re partnering with Twitch Film to cover all of the show’s 156 episodes. Are you brave enough to watch them all with us? The Twilight Zone (Episode #120): “The Bard” (airdate 5/23/63) The Plot: A talentless writer begs his way into an TV writing opportunity, but it requires knowledge of black magic. He finds a book on the dark arts, or at least it finds him, and soon he’s conjured up the most famous writer in history. The Goods: Julius K. Moomer is a very determined television writer. Unfortunately he’s not a very good one. His persistence pays off though when he convinces some folks to give him a shot at writing the pilot to a pre-approved TV show. The subject is black magic, so armed with a complete lack of knowledge on the subject he heads to a local bookstore for inspiration. A magical tome literally jumps towards him, and soon he’s playing around with powers beyond his comprehension. And by that I mean he conjures up William Shakespeare to write a TV script.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a thing that happens every night, bub. And it will deliver unto you the best of the entertainment-related things that happened today. Also, there will be mustaches. We begin tonight’s late late edition of News After Dark with an epic mustache. No, not this column’s author’s epic mustache. It’s an image of what Burt Reynolds looks like in his cameo on Archer, one of the better shows about animated spies to hit cable television since… okay, I ran that into the ground. It’s really good. Burt Reynolds makes it even better.

Variety is reporting that Universal Pictures has hired Legally Blonde screenwriters Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten “Kiwi” Smith to pen a remake of the 1982 comedy The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Yes friends, the movie for which Dolly Parton (and her glorious assets) were nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actress.

There were a lot of bad movies released during the past decade. That’s not anything that distinguishes the aughts from any other decade before it, but then most of these movies were bad in the usual, torturous ways.

If you’re like me, you’ve been glued to Discovery Channel all week checking out all the fantastic shark action. If you need a break though, yet demand more sharks, here are a few films that should keep you from heading to the ocean (or to the deep end of the pool) for a while.

Is it any surprise that this film wasn’t screened for any critic, anywhere in the free world? It’s not that you’d expect anything decent to come from Uwe Boll, but even I was unprepared for the level of suckage this movie produced.