Some time ago, not so long that I’ve forgotten, but so long that I can no longer totally remember, I watched a film that was bad. Upon completion of said film, I went with the cliched statement of “I want my money back.” This prompted a response from an acquaintance and colleague who took some exception to this statement, for whatever reason. It was his opinion that asking for one’s money back is somehow offensive to the people making the movie and he asked what I would do if the filmmakers asked for their budget back. Rather than getting into an internet fight over it, I stewed for a bit, but recently decided to get vocal, especially once I realized that the entire business side of making money is actually studios asking for their budget back.

Editor’s Note: This week, Brian is busy shoving hotdogs into his mouth to prepare for Comic-Con. We asked how that would help, but he hung up on us, so I’m writing this week’s entry. Enjoy! Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema. You’re welcome. Our weekly dive into the gluttonous, saturated fat-saturated world of questionable movies has taken a detour into the educational this week, but it won’t be boring like a high school calculus class. It’ll be far worse than that. Why? Because we’ll be dissecting to death a piece of trash blowing about the graffiti-lined streets of some big city in the 1980s. We’ll rip out its guts, toss its sexual organs under a microscope, but then, yes then, we’ll get to its heart. And at its heart, we’ll learn the true meaning of dance. Or something. We will lift it up on the highest pedestal possible because Lorenzo Lamas will have taught us what it really means to keep it real. That’s right. This week’s unhealthy portion is the sweaty, 1984 breakdancing opus known as Body Rock.

When you hear that a movie called Camel Spiders is coming out, you can’t help but think “Wait that doesn’t already exist?” Camel Spiders, aka wind scorpions, aka solifuges, made the front page of your nightmares during the Iraq war when images of these seemingly gigantic monstrosities were e-mailed around the world. The arachnids, which are not actually spiders, were rumored to run at speeds surpassing 30 miles per hour, regularly chasing down military Humvees, and said to be capable of leaping great distances, say, from the ground to your face. Their bite was rumored to be fatal and their size seemingly ranged up to two feet. Much of this is wildly inaccurate and stems from a photograph of two solifuges which were stuck to each other and held in the foreground of the photo, making them appear huge. In actuality, this nightmare fuel only measures six inches for the head and body sections, which is five and a half god damn too many inches. Anyway, Jim Wynorski made a movie about these things, and it’s not good.

This week, on a very special episode of Reject Radio, we talk with independent film legend and Troma co-founder Lloyd Kaufman and then bad movie expert Eric D. Snider to try to figure out why we love stuff that’s so bad it’s good. Plus, Jeremy Smith from Aint It Cool and Germain Lussier from /film return to do battle in the Movie News Pop Quiz and discuss the brilliant or accidental viral marketing of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Let the swear words commence. Listen Here: Download This Episode

The Nic Cage crazy train just keeps rolling right through the station. Already this year we’ve seen him playing a crazy old man in a wig who sword fights witches in Season of the Witch. Well, get ready to take things to the next level.

You’ve stumbled upon Circle of Jerks, our sporadically published, weekly feature in which we ask the questions that really matter to our writers and readers. It’s a time to take a break from our busy lives and revel in the one thing that we all share: a deep, passionate love of movies. If you have a question you’d like answered by the FSR readers and staff, send us an email at editors@filmschoolrejects.com. [Last] week’s question was great, but I’m wondering about the opposite. What are some brilliant (in your opinion) scenes from terrible no good very bad movies? – Carlos P.

We haven’t seen J-Lo on the big screen in over four years. Is this her grand return to form, or is this one a good movie?

What could possibly inspire a list of ten utter lumps of coal this early in the year? How about a giant turd of a Christmas film that also released in early November (we’re looking at you, Vince Vaughn).

When our friends at Slashfilm posted the story about legendarily-bad director Uwe Boll quitting the film industry for good if a petition garnered one million signatures, I found myself foolishly hopeful for about five minutes. Then I realized that there was no way it was going to work.

Eddie Murphy got nominated for an Oscar last year… This year he is taking home hardware, just not the right kind.

This week we feature posters with Eva Longoria, Paris Hilton and Jenny McCarthy. It can’t be that bad. Can it?

2007 has been filled with movies that the studios whore out to critics in order to get awards. The worst ones are the films that take themselves too seriously or cover the “meaningful” issues. Occasionally, these films actually win awards, so each year we are guaranteed a steady stream of this crap in the late-fall and winter.

Everyone has fear. It’s ingrained in our psyche. Anyone who denies it is lying, dead or both.

With every yin, there is a yang. There are some movies that are so far apart from the Halloween experience, they shouldn’t even be on video rental shelves when people are combing their local Blockbuster for copies of the original “Frankenstein,” “Fright Night” and “Evil Dead II.”