Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; constantly in need of a bigger boat. Remember when Junkfood Cinema only covered crusty old cheese that you didn’t care about or crappy movies out of theaters just long enough to have completely vanished from your consciousness forever? Those were good times, simpler times. You were safe from it as long as you stayed in the boat and didn’t venture into my usual feeding grounds. But now, like some God-awful 3D gimmick, I am bursting through your computer screen and invading your local movie theater to take a massive bite out of a brand new movie. I will chomp apart all of this film’s many, many faults and drag it down to a watery grave. But then, like Matt Hooper, my love for this movie refuses to stay submerged and comes bubbling to the surface. I’ll wrap it up by chumming the waters with a tasty snack food themed to the film. Today’s Catch: Shark Night 3D It is a true rarity that brand new movies, in those fancy shmancy multiplexes with their hoity toity 3Ds, XDs, and D-students, perfectly exemplify the core values of Junkfood Cinema. But in the case of Shark Night 3D, the confines of a traditional review would simply do no justice to the complex, near-paradoxical experience of seeing this terrible/amazing film in a theater and, despite all its best efforts, loving it so much that you unironically hope it wins an Oscar so that a hundred more movies just like [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Ever wake up in the morning with your head pounding? Chances are, that happened after trying one of our many drinking games. It also might have happened after spending a night watching films by Michael Bay. If your head is really, really pounding, you might have played a drinking game while watching the balls-to-the-wall explosive Michael Bay extravaganza known as Armageddon. Or, it could be the real Armageddon happening. Either way, it’s best enjoyed with a drink in hand. Awesome!

Take a journey through our Universe in glorious high definition and get your nerd on with this awesome History Channel series.

BFFs Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael (Awesome) Bay are looking into working together again for an HBO series based on the documentary Cocaine Cowboys.

In news that should excite the inappropriate part of you that likes Michael Bay and gorgeous Australian women, Teresa Palmer – who was cast as Talia Al Ghul in the doomed Justice League: Mortal – has signed on for the (Awesome) Transformers sequel.

As the seasons turn, my love for Michael Bay and his “awesome” movies continues to blossom, and with that comes the never-ending search for all things Bay. My psychologist says that this is an unhealthy obsession, that is causes me to spend too much money on Transformers schwag and that it has cost me relationships, but it is still better than that whole Miley Cyrus incident.