It’s often said that believing you will spend forever with the person you fall in love with in high school is a naïve notion and, while the opening montage of Celeste and Jesse Forever seems to prove that the opposite is true, once the film begins we realize that Celeste (Rashida Jones) and Jesse (Andy Samberg) are actually separated and looking to get a divorce. The strange thing is, they still spend every second together and are only “separated” by the backyard with Jesse now living in his studio out back rather than the main house with Celeste.

Scientists have heatedly argued as to whether Adam Sandler‘s career is still in existence or went extinct after Jack and Jill stepped on the last egg. Since then, millions have headed into the wild to see if they could spot some sort of proof that the comedian is still allowed on film sets. Or still inviting himself onto the the ones he’s financing. Luck struck Cinema Blend today when they acquired the highly sought-after evidence that Sandler is still, in fact, working. There’s no explanation as to why Sandler is wearing a Bon Jovi costume here, but it beats a fat suit any day. Hopefully, Donny’s Boy (retitled from I Hate You, Dad) will be the home run that knocks the old big leaguer out of his slump. He’s got Andy Samberg co-starring in a role that almost ensures a ton of comedic sparring between the two, and Leighton Meester on board as Samberg’s character’s fiancee who does not get along with dear old dad. Sitcom set up, possible gold. Why? Because the script was rewritten by The State alumnae Ken Marino and David Wain who also delivered Wet Hot American Summer. It’s the feature directing debut of third film directed by Sean Anders and John Morris, who used their Sex Drive writing cred to get work on Mr. Popper’s Penguins and Hot Tub Time Machine. The hope/dread factor is still up in the air, but scientists need something to argue about. Correction: In a previous version of the article, [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr is all giddy because apparently Joseph Gordon-Levitt has decided to copy his signature hairstyle. Undeterred by folks telling him Gordon-Levitt shaved his head to play the role in 50/50, Kevin tries to lobby other Hollywood actors to copy his image. Unfortunately, What’s Your Number? star Chris Evans refuses to grow a huge belly and Dream House star Daniel Craig just won’t latch onto Kevin’s charming American accent.

We weren’t really sure if last week’s Commentary Commentary was gross enough for the lot of you. So a poll was taken – it pretty much consisted of Brian Salisbury and myself – and it was decided the ante needed to be upped this week. Especially in honor of Fantastic Fest, we felt it was time to really turn on the gore and mindlessly fun commentary tracks. So we’re heading back with the South Park boys to Cannibal! The Musical, Trey Parker‘s first feature film which was subsequently picked up by Lloyd Kaufman and the fine (?) people at Troma Entertainment. What we got shocked and amazed even our gore-filled hearts and minds. A grotesque but absolutely hilarious look at the real-life trial of Alferd Packer, a 19th Century prospector who was accused of cannibalism in Colorado. The film isn’t the most accurate depiction of the events, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t entertaining. Equally entertaining is this commentary track featuring cast, crew, and ample amounts of consumed alcohol, something most commentary tracks are lacking in. Here’s what we found out. Note: it isn’t much.

Normally, when I hear that either Adam Sandler or Kevin James has a new movie coming out, I wince in anticipation of it. Kind of like when you know you’re about to get hit by a baseball. I didn’t quite have this reaction to the news that they’ve signed on to Sony Pictures Animation’s Hotel Transylvania, however, and there are a couple reasons for that. The first reason is that the new film is set to be directed by Genndy Tartakovsky, who has done some great TV work with Samurai Jack, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and Dexter’s Laboratory. Everything I’ve seen from Tartakovsky has been slick, stylish, and interesting. I’m excited at the prospect of what he might come up with when jumping from small screen to big, and Sandler and James’ recent track records aren’t enough to deter me from seeing this one.

If you’ve been keeping track of Adam Sandler’s career (and in 2011, who hasn’t?), then you have probably already heard that he’s going to be playing Andy Samberg’s dad in the upcoming film I Hate You, Dad. This is an interesting proposition because Samberg is a young comedian who has utilized digital media to skyrocket his career into the stratosphere and Sandler is an aging funnyman who hasn’t done anything good in over a decade, yet still keeps making billions of dollars on name value alone. What will happen when the irresistible force meets the immovable object, funny or no funny?

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news round-up article that would like you to know that it’s glad you weren’t Raptured. It loves having you around so that it can share links with you, bring you the latest news and provide you with a few laughs along the way. It didn’t want to see you vanish into thin air and leave the rest of us to fend off apocalyptic chaos. It’s also confused, as all the toilet paper in the Reject HQ bathrooms seems to have disappeared. How does toilet paper get Raptured? I’m always skeptical when small groups of journalists get a very early look at a major studio picture and come out of it with mostly positive things to say. I don’t question their enjoyment of what they saw, but it’s clear that someone is massaging the timing of the message. So when we see reviews starting to pop up for X-Men: First Class, I can’t help but look at them through cynical eyes. That said, I respect the hell out of Drew McWeeney at HitFix and his piece on Matthew Vaughn’s latest calls it ambitious, claiming that the story is tight and focused. That’s worth some consideration. Also, the above art depicts Muppets as X-Men. Brilliant, found via Geekologie.

We’ve seen her on TV shows like The Office and Parks and Recreation, she shows up in a lot of Internet videos at places like Funny or Die, and she even gets a handful of smallish film roles whenever she has time off from all that other stuff. But now Rashida Jones is set to get her own starring vehicle, and she also co-wrote the script. The film is called Celeste and Jesse Forever, it’s set to be directed by Lee Tolan Krieger, and it will star Jones and Andy Samberg in the male and female leads. Celeste and Jesse will tell the tale of a married couple who is trying to figure out how to get a divorce, but still remain friends afterward. I’ve had a crush on Rashida Jones that’s been growing exponentially over the last six months or so, and after this quote from the writer/actress making fun of casual sex comedies; my crush might have hit critical mass. Jones says, “Our movie is about two people who love each other a ton but they don’t know what to do with that love, and how do you let that person go. It’s very different from: ‘I like having sex with this person because I’m so modern but then, ooh, maybe I like them.’ I’m less interested in that story.” That sounds interesting to me, and God bless her for taking the piss out of the lame state of the modern romantic comedy.

The comedy talent for The Handjob is swelling with Alia Shawkat, Mae Whitman, Donald Glover, Connie Britton, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, and Johnny Simmons. The film is being written and directed by Bill Hader’s comedian wife Maggie Carey. That’s not to say that he has a drama wife, too. It’s meant to show that she’s also professionally funny. The modifier placement is just weird. Regardless, Hader expounded on the plot to The Playlist recently, saying “It’s about her playing an type-A, studious girl who graduates high school and hasn’t done anything with a guy. The summer before college she decides that she has to find out how to do everything in order to be properly prepared, so she makes a very serious bullet list of everything, like… hand-job, titty-fuck, blow-job, fingering, and just kinda checks one off every time she does it. She’s being the aggressor and is very straight-forward about it, like ‘Okay, so I’m going to give you a hand-job now.’ And the guys are very taken aback about it, especially her straight-laced friends.” Sold.

I believe firmly that movie reviewers and critics should have their work cut out for them. All they do all day is watch movies, eat cookies and raw goat meat, and drink expensive beers you’ve never heard of before sitting down to their computer to pass judgment upon the latest feature film thousands of people poured their lives into. Thus, the least reviewers could do is make up their own puns. Sadly, Adam Sandler is making it too easy. According to The Hollywood Reported, Sandler will co-star with Andy Samberg for I Hate You Dad. The movie features a father who starts crashing at his son’s house shortly before the son is set to be married. The dad then starts fighting with the fiancee. Hilarity hopefully ensues, and I’ll let you guess who’s playing which role. Oddly enough, this could be a chance for Samberg (a guy most known for jizzing in his pants) to reach a wider audience that doesn’t know that he won a silver medal in the Space Olympics. On the other hand, it could also attempt to be a little edgy and actually,  I don’t know, be funny for the first time in Sandler’s career since 1999. Sidenote: If Adam Sandler were actually Andy Samberg’s father, he would have sired him at age 12. Movie magic!

The director goes from Searching for a Midnight Kiss to making Friends with Andy Samberg.

Kevin Carr takes a look at this week’s movie releases, including Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Informant! and Jennifer’s Body.

In honor of the release and subsequent box office domination of Fast & Furious, the fourth film in the Fast and Furious series, we’ve got a humorous treat for you.

Kevin Carr reviews this week’s new movies: Knowing, I Love You, Man and Duplicity.

Many of you had a chance to see the Sarah Palin appearance on Saturday Night Live last night, but the Moose-hunting Vice Presidential candidate’s appearance was overshadowed by an appearance from Mark Wahlberg, who came on to threaten to break Andy Samberg’s big, beautiful nose.

Space Chimps has the unfortunate space of being sandwiched into a weekend that has both Mamma Mia, and a little known indie film called The Dark Knight opening. But that didn’t stop Andy Samberg, voice of main chimp Ham, from cracking wise throughout the press junket.

It didn’t take seeing it with my kids to get all giddy about the ideas of well-spoken chimpanzees in space suits. But anyone going to this film needs to realize that this is what has to appeal to you for you to enjoy it.

The answer to the question in the title above is most likely “no”, but for the sake of drawing you in and getting you to read an article about animated chimps who fly around in space, I had to go there.

Billed as “From the co-creators of the hilarious, Emmy winning SNL digital short D**K IN A BOX,” it’s not a surprise that this film is loaded with sophomoric humor.