In a world with nothing much of interest happening (apparently), the internet got all aflutter when it was announced that James Bond would drink a Heineken in Skyfall. People everywhere were freaking the hell out while “news” outlets capitalized on the fact that they have no integrity by plastering misleading headlines everywhere. Just like this one: James Bond Will Swig a Heineken Instead of a Martini. That’s from Time Magazine’s online presence. People used to respect Time Magazine. I say used to assuming that there’s only so much bullshit one can suffer before you stop respecting something. Granted, this is “only” the on-line face of Time Magazine, but hey, it’s a slippery slope, right? Here’s what we know: Heineken has secured a product placement deal with Skyfall. In one scene, James Bond will drink a Heineken. I’m not sure how that translates into “Bond will no longer drink martinis and will instead only drink Heineken beer forever and ever.” I mean, unless you don’t give a shit about accurately reporting stories. Then you might as well headline “Skyfall to feature Heineken Advertising Everywhere and Bond Hates Vodka and Drinks Beer and Also He Might Be Gay Now.” Because why not? Granted – exaggeration. But so is saying Bond is drinking beer instead of martinis.

Why Watch? We’ve all been there, and we’ve all made that promise, but probably none of us has done it in song. This musical interlude is brought to you by over-consumption. The team over at Half Day Today has made yet another hilarious video that could well be one song in a much larger musical. Plus, the video that comes after it in the Youtube rotation is called “Daddy Has A Penis?” which somehow scores it double points. Telling a story through song is difficult, but they pull it off alongside fun camera work and engaging (far too familiar) characters. What does it cost? Just 4 minutes of your time. Check out the trailer for Never Drinking Again for yourself:

We weren’t really sure if last week’s Commentary Commentary was gross enough for the lot of you. So a poll was taken – it pretty much consisted of Brian Salisbury and myself – and it was decided the ante needed to be upped this week. Especially in honor of Fantastic Fest, we felt it was time to really turn on the gore and mindlessly fun commentary tracks. So we’re heading back with the South Park boys to Cannibal! The Musical, Trey Parker‘s first feature film which was subsequently picked up by Lloyd Kaufman and the fine (?) people at Troma Entertainment. What we got shocked and amazed even our gore-filled hearts and minds. A grotesque but absolutely hilarious look at the real-life trial of Alferd Packer, a 19th Century prospector who was accused of cannibalism in Colorado. The film isn’t the most accurate depiction of the events, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t entertaining. Equally entertaining is this commentary track featuring cast, crew, and ample amounts of consumed alcohol, something most commentary tracks are lacking in. Here’s what we found out. Note: it isn’t much.

Resident Rage-aholic has a few too many and starts ranting about alcohol and its consumers on the screen, both big and small.

Frank Castle hates criminals and punishes them with guns. You hate yourself and punish your body with alcohol. Here’s how to do it better and stronger.

Here at FSR, we don’t condone drinking unless it’s done to excess or while watching films. Luckily, we sobered up long enough to offer some cinematic libations for you to enjoy responsibly.

Time to get HULK SMASHED with these “Incredible Hulk” drink recipes.

Well the remake of Prom Night is on the way, so I figured it would be fun for everyone to relive it. Maybe make it a party? I know I write a lot about parties and drinking, but then again, I am your Hollywood-based Movie Style Guy.