When Lindsay Lohan acted in Machete with Robert De Niro, it was like a dream come true, and now the countdown begins until we see her complete the circle by acting alongside Al Pacino in Gotti: Three Generations. Start carving notches on your cell wall. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Pacino has signed on for the project which stars John Travolta as mob boss John Gotti Sr. The obvious story here is the gangland connection, especially considering Pacino’s shining acting achievements in the underworld and his involvement here as mentor figure Neil Dellacroce. But the real story is that Lindsay Lohan has closed the six degrees gap for Heat Barry Levinson is stepping in to direct the project. That’s an interesting call, especially considering Levinson hasn’t directed a solid film since 1996′s Sleepers. Okay, maybe Wag the Dog, but he’s got a serious drought going. This story needs to be more than a pound of hair gel slathered on a fancy suit, so hopefully Rain Man-level Levinson can come out of retirement for this one.

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; all your candy are belong to us. How many words do I really need expend on this introduction? If you’re a frequent reader of the column, who hasn’t managed to blow himself up building a working replica of Bill & Ted’s phone booth, you are already aware of my affinity for terrible movies and you have wasted more time than you dare admit reading this insufferable column. For those of you who haplessly wandered in hoping to find the nutritional content of the KFC Double-Down or creative Junior Mint recipes, my condolences. But now that you’re here, you should know that the JFC system is threefold. First, I point out the film’s numerous faults; heckling it from the cyberspace balcony like Statler and Waldorf. But then, on a dime, I switch it up and sing the film’s inexplicable praises like a banjo-wielding frog expounding on the merits of rainbows. Finally I will pair the film with an appropriate snack food item upon which you can feverishly chow down like a furry blue monster well on his way to crippling obesity. This week’s delicacy (which is likely to be brought to you by the words cease & desist): Dick Tracy

At what point does Nic Cage crossover from actor to Internet meme? Cage’s distinct brand of emotional overdosing, that would send Lee Strasberg himself into a coma, has been fueling the web for the past few years like gasoline on a steadily burning wildfire. Every film that sees release (barely) continues to showcase what the man does best: send reality into the stratosphere. He’s a walking, talking grindhouse film. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious art. Far from it. For every Wicker Man, Vampire’s Kiss or Season of the Witch, movies easier digested in two minute YouTube clips than in their full theatrical glory, Cage spins his explosive techniques into watchable films, like Kick-Ass, Bad Lieutenant and Adaptation. Whether his latest, Drive Angry 3D, fits into the first or second categories, there’s no doubt the man has had successful run thus far. This success puts Cage in the spotlight, but frankly, he’s not the only one (or the craziest) to make a career out of acting nuts. That’s right: I believe there are people more outlandish than Nic Cage in the world and, dagnabbit, the Internet needs to start acknowledging them for the loony performances they deliver:

As if a better cast could be assembled. Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Al Pacino will all find themselves lookin’ at each other under the direction of Martin Scorsese for The Irishman. The plot could involve three out-of-work plumbers sitting around talking about the glory days, and it would still be a hell of a cast, but the film boasts mob ties, hit men, and conspiracy connections to JFK’s assassination. Plus, they might all solve where Jimmy Hoffa is buried so we can all finally get on with our lives. It’s possible that the only way to make this better is to include Harvey Keitel. Fortunately, he’s involved as well. The only challenge for the film will be keeping the curse words in the low thousands. [Cinematical]

I’m robbing a bank because they got money here. That’s why I’m robbing it. On Aug. 22, 1972, would-be criminal mastermind Sonny (Al Pacino) walks into a Brooklyn bank with his two inept accomplices. The instant the robbery is under way, one of the accomplices gets cold feet and bails. Then, Sonny discovers most of money has already left the bank. Plus, the security guard is having an asthma attack and the tellers want to go potty. It’s going to be a long night. Why We Love It Remember Pontius Pilate? He famously asked Jesus, “What is truth?” Jesus didn’t answer, so Pontius was like, “OK, wiseguy. It’s the cross for you!” (At least, that’s how I remember the story. It’s been a while since I read it.)

For 36 days straight, we’ll be exploring the famous 36 Dramatic Situations by examining a film that exemplifies each one. From family killing family to prisoners in need of asylum, we brush off the 19th century list in order to remember that it’s still incredibly relevant today. Whether you’re seeking a degree in Literature, love movies, or just love seeing things explode, our feature should have something for everyone. If it doesn’t, please don’t fly us to the country of Wyoming. Part 20 of the 36-part series takes a look at “Crimes of Love” with Sidney Lumet’s Dog Day Afternoon.

With all the invention, intriguing plot webs, and overall solid cinematic storytelling that Christopher Nolan’s films are credited for, yet another innovative characteristic of his signature narrative approach is often looked over: his own special brand of antihero. A thread that has connected Nolan’s films (scripted often in collaboration with his brother Jonathan) is the presence of a central male character who possesses some combination of destructive egotism, desperate selfishness at the risk of others, aggressive self-righteousness, willful delusion, or even the first signs of a messiah complex (“asshole” is used in the title of this post simply as an umbrella term for all the negative traits connecting these protagonists). I credit this aspect of storytelling and character development to the brothers Nolan, for filmmakers who work so successfully in Hollywood aren’t often able to bring to the screen characters who contain so many obvious flaws, and further credit goes to them for actually immersing us in their characters’ subconscious (figuratively in the case of all their films not titled Inception), making us give a damn about these characters to the point that sometimes these otherwise obvious personality flaws are only visible upon reflection after the film has been experienced. Nolan’s characters are often complex and intelligent, but beneath any confident exterior resides a deeply troubled psychology – some more obvious than others.

We all know that alcohol is a depressant, so it’s one of those things that if you drink too much of it, you might just fall asleep. And with Christopher Nolan’s Inception sure to be the sleeper hit of the summer, you might be worried about people trying to steal your thoughts while you sleep. The cure for this would be a sure case of insomnia. Fortunately, Christopher Nolan’s Insomnia has hit Blu-ray this week. So after watching Leonardo DiCaprio and company sleep through Inception, come home and knock a few back while you watch Al Pacino have Insomnia.

Scorsese says he wants Al Pacino as Sinatra and Robert De Niro as Dean Martin. Well duh.

You don’t hear from Dr. Jack Kevorkian as much since he’s been paroled from prison in 2007. But with Al Pacino along for the ride, it’s likely that you’ll hear a bit more about him this year.

A guy told me one time, “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”

It turns out that Al Pacino has some new company for the biopic of Dr. Death chronicling his battle to legalize euthanasia.

For some reason, Al Pacino has long been interested in playing the role of Napoleon Bonaparte of France, the infamous French Emperor who nearly conquered the world. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they’re both 5′ 7″.

“Who is it that can tell me who I am?” asks King Lear. Now we know that answer is “Al Pacino.” Can an iconic actor experiencing a career downfall play a King who watches the downfall of his reign?

Antonio Banderas is in negotiations to play Salvador Dali in Dali, a look at the life of the surrealist painter. And it would appear that he isn’t the only one.

While everyone is busy lambasting Righteous Kill, head to your favorite video spot and rent Michael Mann’s amazing Heat this weekend. You won’t miss going to the theater if you do.

Die-hard Pacino and De Niro fans will enjoy seeing their favorite actors on the screen, but my suggestion for this movie is to go in with as low of expectations as you can.

If you head out to the theaters this weekend to see Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino share the screen in Righteous Kill, be sure to toast this team-up of legendary crime film stars.

Kevin and Neil struggle to make it through the movie doldrums with some sub-par September releases and a challenge to offend those who claim they can’t be offended.

In honor of the upcoming team-up of these two legends, we’ve put together a very special feature: De Niro vs. Pacino: Their Ten Most Badass Performances.