STFU

STFU: Colonel Tigh would be a Horrible VP

Posted by Josh Radde (josh@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 7, 2008

Every Wednesday, Kevin Carr vents on what Hollywood shenanigans are boggling his mind that week in a feature we call WTF. Every Thursday, an FSR staff member will refute him in a feature appropriately named STFU.

Oh, Kevin Carr. I applaud your wanting a Bizarro-world election year where the candidates look like carbon-copies of each other. But, like always, you’ve taken your WTF section TOO FAR, dammit.

This week, you responded to Cole and David’s list of VP picks by suggesting two of your own: Harry Lennix and Michael Hogan. My response to YOUR response: STFU.

Don’t just throw around the phrase “cheddar-sharp logic” like it’s pictures of your newest baby. I happen to LOVE cheddar cheese, and I would appreciate if you keep your empty rhetoric out of my fridge and out of my face!

First let’s start off the way you did–Harry Lennix for John McCain. Alright, not only was this man featured in the WORST season of “24″, bar none, to date, he was also courting President Wayne Palmer and deceased President David Palmer’s sister, Sandra (Regina King). So, I would assume he’s a Democrat anyway. McCain is having enough time convincing the Right that he means business, the last thing he needs is a man who’s in bed with the Palmers.

Granted, Lennix does have “military” experience, but that only comes in the form of “Commander Lock” in two woefully directed Matrix sequels. If you let Laurence Fishburne steal your woman from under you, you are NOT fit to be second-in-command. Lennix is also friends with David Schwimmer. Need I say more?

As for Michael Hogan for Obama: This man has a list of grievances bogging him down, NOT including the fact that he is a Cylon. First of all, he portrays Saul Tigh who was born on Aerelon, which after a quick gander, does not appear to be on my U.S. map. Even if that’s a little too picky for you, Michael Hogan was born IN CANADA. Moot, moot, moot. Fellow Americans, do you really want a prospector’s son, from CANADA, who sports an eye-patch, murdered his Bizarro-Cindy McCain wife who betrayed him to become our “go-to” should anything happen to Barack Obama?

My vote is NO. So say we all.

So before you go calling the McCain and Obama campaigns, please go about checking them facts. Oh, and only those of us who play a secret pickup basketball game with Obama can call him “Big O” –because of his dominant, low-post presence.

***Josh Radde is a senior staff member of Ralph Nader’s candidacy for President. He may or may not have an MFA from Yale and a SAG card. He can be reached through his personal website, 2girls1cup.com.