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When I woke up this morning, I was just about to throw on my tri-corn hat and frock coat before knocking out some news when I had the wind knocked out of my sails by our good friends over at ComingSoon.net.

As it turns out, all those wacky, unbelievable rumors about Pirates of the Caribbean 4 – the ones about Johnny Depp making $80 trillion, Tim Burton directing and Russell Brand (who the hell is that guy?) co-starring with Depp and Sacha Baron Cohen – it turns out they’re wacky and unbelievable for a good reason.

Terry Rossio, world famous commenter over at The Artful Writer Forums and sometimes screenwriter, gave the lowdown on the film franchise he helped build:

For the record, none of the recent Pirates 4 rumors have any truth, including the so-called record 50 million dollar payday for Depp.

Some pretty funny stuff, though. Sacha Cohen? Tim Burton? Studios are way too protective of their franchises for that sort of thing.

The one rumor that is true? That they’re actually making the damned thing. A fourth freaking film in the franchise, and we haven’t even seen a sequel to Rossio and Elliott’s best work yet. Where’s our Little Monsters sequel, gentlemen!?

Do we really need another Pirates movie? How much cooler would it be for Verbinski, Rossio, and Elliott to create a new world for Johnny Depp to play around in?