Why Did I Get Married?

Posted by Kevin Carr (kevin@filmschoolrejects.com) on October 12, 2007

I come at the film Why Did I Get Married? from a unique perspective. I have never seen a Tyler Perry film before. This is nothing against Tyler Perry. I’m sure he’s a great guy, and after seeing this film, I can tell he has a strong grasp of humor. I just never had a chance to catch Diary of a Mad Black Woman or Madea’s Family Reunion. (One was not screened for critics, and the other I had to miss for a conflicting screening.)

Unlike many of Perry’s movie fans, I approached Why Did I Get Married? with neither high expectations or dread. I also knew I wouldn’t be disappointed that Perry wasn’t in a fat suit, wig and old woman’s dress. We shall see if his fans accept him out of drag.

In this film, Perry plays a man on a week-long retreat with his wife and three other couples. While they are all successful and seem to have things together on the surface, each couple has secrets and lies in their past. At the secluded getaway in Colorado, these secrets come out with explosive results, leaving the four couples to pick up the pieces when the vacation is over.

I know that I am not the target market for this film. Yes, I am married, and the movie is best understood by people who have taken that plunge. However, this film seems to speak to a black female audience. While the problems the couples faced were by no means unique to an urban audience, the way the story is laid out makes the main characters the women and often with an overt black perspective.

So keep all this in mind when I say I wasn’t a huge fan of the film. After all, the point of a review is my opinion, isn’t it? And I thought the acting was only so-so, the characters weren’t terribly well formed and the movie went on way too long.

The high points in Why Did I Get Married? come from the laugh-out-loud outrageous comedy. There are two or three of these moments, and they do bring the house down. However, between these scenes, we’re treated to a little too much preaching about how Perry thinks relationship should be rather than how they really are.

Married folks are going to get the most out of this film, even more than those who are just in long-term relationships. In many ways, it reminds me of Chris Rock’s I Think I Love My Wife. It does put on display many of the problems we all face in marriage, either by thought or by deed. And in a strange way, this film can be therapeutic for the average person, the same way The Jerry Springer Show is.

Married people are going to see this movie and feel better about their relationships because as bad as their problems are, it isn’t nearly as bad as the characters in the film. And if you are one of those people who look at this film and say, â€œThese people don’t have it so bad. My problems are worse!â€ Well, then you need to join a convent or a monastery and give up relationships for good.

Originally, I didn’t have a problem with the film. It wasn’t brilliantly written or expertly plotted, but it worked for what it was. However, after the big blow-up in the middle of the movie, Perry overstays his welcome by preaching at the audience and driving the characters into the ground. By the end, we’re given all-too-easy, and in some cases ridiculously drawn-out, resolutions to the issues of the film.

I can’t speak for Perry’s other films, but what Why Did I Get Married? showed me that he has a real knack for setting up a story and building it to a dramatic height. However, he just doesn’t quite know how to wrap things up nicely in the end.

The Upside: The hot lady factor in this film is undeniable.

The Downside: The last 20 minutes are pretty tedious and predictable.

On the Side: Everyone in this movie sleeps with the lights on. God knows why.

Grade: C

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Carmin Wharton

Kevin:

I thank God that I am NOT you. Know why? Because I am a Black woman who can look at situations, people, and yes, movies with a very clear, open mind regardless of the color or sex of the actors on the screen. I love movies in which Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington star in - equally. You, my man, can only see the movie "Why Did I Get Married?" through the eyes of a White man totally out of touch with reality. And before you even go there that I am a disgruntled Black woman, hold up and wait a minute. I am one of the most diverse people you'd ever meet. In addition to Black and Asian male friends, my very best platonic male friend is a White man. He's a 100% man, he is not gay and he is originally from Long Island, NY. I have White, Black and Latino female friends that are like sisters and daughters to me. I suppose that my diverse lifestyle and affiliations is why it pissed me off to read your so-called review of the movie "Why Did I Get Married?" I don't have a problem with people expressing their opinions but when you use your so-called film review to take a punch at the Black community and Black female actresses in particular - well - you drew first blood and I ain't scared to fight back.

Since you are a married man, I suppose you don't have very many close White female friends and I won't even go there about how many Black, er Urban friends you have. If you did have White female friends (as I do), you would know that the relationship problems which are played out in this film are suffered by White women as well and interestingly when I viewed the movie even though the audience was predominantly Black women, there were White women there - with their Black female friends. And you know what I else I noticed? The White women were "Amening" and sharing high fives as much as the Black women. I kinda think these White women are involved in relationships with White men too.

I would even venture to say that your so called "movie review" is nothing more than racist and sexist rhetoric. You say you are not a fan of the movie because "the way the story is laid out makes the main characters the women and often with an overt black perspective." I bet you wouldn't have had a problem with the movie if the main characters had been White women from a mainstream White perspective.

I'm going to see the movie again. Guess who I'm going with? My White male friend and guess what? I'll bet he'll love it and not because he's seeing it with some pushy, overbearing Black chick either. After all, how could a man of any race who stands 6'3" and weighs 250 pounds be afraid of a little Black urban girl like me?

Carmin Wharton, The Relationship Teacher
Author of the dating and relationship book, Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces
http://www.carminwharton.com
http://www.relationshipteacher.com
http://www.menanddating.com

Lori Boone

You know, I just came back from looking at this magnificently, courageous film. I am amazed to know that (at least) you are the only critic "man" enough ... and, I use the term loosely ... I will explain why in detail in a minute ... again, you are the only "man" critic that was brave enought to critique this movie. No other critic had the testicular fortitude to do so.... WHAT COWARDS!!!!!

I agree with Carmin Wharton ... you probably wouldn't have had a problem with the white woman perspective .. but, let's put that aside because I want to deal with the reason you critics cannot deal with Tyler Perry's movies, in my opinion.

I think that because you have such a world view (i.e. moral relativism), you cannot or will not give Tyler Perry the artistic latitude he deserves. A world view based on there is only "your" right way and then there is "my" way just can't understand absolute right vs. wrong. Any (and every) problem that a Christian should come from a biblical view of the world; and, that fact plays out in this film. There's just a thing about "right" vs. "wrong". It was wrong for them to have secrets because God says in the bible that every secret will be exposed. That played out in this movie. Even though emotions ran high, forgiveness played out in this movie. The bible teaches us to forgive ... not to get the other person off of the hook, but to free ourselves from the bondage bitterness and anger truly yield. And, of course, as you put it so eloquently, Jill Scott's character played this to fact of our Christian faith out, too. She showed her weakness, and was real about her feelings ... even being so honest to tell the man that rescued her (and we all need a hero!) that she was weak. This is what true Christianity .. not that fake stuff you may encounter from the weak attempts that "your" Hollywood typically displays in their movies about preachers and Christians. Not so! I don't think that your heart missed these points, you just didn't want to let yourself be ministered to in that way.....

The fact that each male character came to grips with their insecurities and without mentioning God, Perry sees to it that they learn how to either overcome, come to grips with, and/or learn from their mistakes in life. You see, it's not "preachy" to me to see main characters draw from the obvious God-perspective. In this life, living as Americans .. not just African-Americans, but all of us need to find that with God, not just with some type of spirituality, but through the true and living God of the Bible, (And yes, I am preaching now!) ... God builds us up through one another even given our trivial and mundane, day-to-day lives in order to show us that HE is in control and not us! We are not running anything! Tyler Perry shows us how 4 different couples are really all just alike ... because, we all need the love and support of one another, don't we Mr. Carr?

So, how about you? Are you afraid to give Tyler Perry the proper and due respect for telling it how no other writer, director, producer, and actor of one film ever really has? By the way, who do you know that has done all all four so well?!?! Just name me one person ... white, black, or otherwise ... that has done all four so well!

Give him time ... if he (Tyler Perry) already has so many critics silent now .. just wait until he really blows you away! You all are going to learn something about God and God's people ... we are not perfect, Jesus is! And, it is in Him that imperfect people play out their imperfect lives, and then watch Him (JESUS) make everything alright! And, I'll say AMEN to that myself!

I will keep you in my prayers that one day, you, too, will get it!
May God bless you to review that next Tyler Perry masterpiece!

ericka

Mr. Carr? Do you understand how NOT objective your review sounds? If this movie was like most movies in Hollywood, geered towards White America, than you still would not have looked at the movie objectively, the movie would have connected with you because you are a white man. Don't you understand that we as African Americans have to live in YOUR world everyday? I enjoyed the Notebook not because I am African American, but because I'm a woman, and the movie was a beautiful tale of love. If I had put myself in the context of the era, then the movie would not have been so lovely to think about, I would have been one of the servants working at the house; but I didn't go there, I just watched the movie appreciating it for it's beauty and took myself out of the equation. Why can't white people do that? I think it's becuase they are not aware of their race until their race is absent. In this case, you see the only whites in the film as what you say are weak and inane. You're right about one thing, this movie was not meant to be seen through your eyes; but next time you watch a film with an all white cast (As most movies are, just in case you never noticed) look at the few black characters in the movie, and ask yourself, are they being portrayed in a way that you think African-Americans would approve? Lastly, are there any black film critics? If there are, consider this, they have to critique movies made for an audience like you 97% of the time. I think you'll be alright with the few black movies that get the green light. God Bless you,

ericka

Yolanda Bilder

C'mon people. It was a MOVIE. I think we should all lighten up and accept this film for what it is. A good way to spend a couple of hours away from reality.
Jill Scott was awesome, Janet Jackson should stick to music, and the rest of the cast was great. Congratulations to Tyler Perry for being #1 at the Box Office!

Ricky

Man you sound so borning. You say you love your wife. I wonder if she loves you

Lashawna

well im in a sortive messed up realationship i really love ma X boyfriend for 3years alot but we broke up now and in moving back where he lives or in the same county again but now i like this other guy hes sweet smart to put it in meanig to how i feel hes jus so good 2me i dnt wnat to go through this whit my X anymore so im thinkin i should jus give the new guy a chance.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deejay

first off yolanda you need to worry about ur own house and stop telling janet what she needs to do. janet is a a great actress and when she did the kitchen scene poeple cried and u couldnt hear a pin drop. she was a strong black woman in the movie but u too busy hating on her to realize.do goodtimes ring a bell to ur slow ass. she has always been an actress and this is her third number 1 movie and she worked hard on this film and all u haters can get a life. to the dumb critic the film pulled in 21 million u idiot beating all ur so called a list stars. tyler and janet beat george and the eizabeth woman so live with it and im gonna se it for the third time.

Dickie Murph

Ok. Let's be serious. I've seen Tyler Perry films. I've been to screenings of Tyler Perry films. They are geared towards an audience. And I hate everyone that attacks Kevin because he said "urban".

Well let me say that this movie was geared towards a female audience. And to be more specific a black, african or urban audience. How dare any of you suggest otherwise. You are blind fools if you even try to suggest that this movie will appeal to all audiences.

And before you reach for the phones to call the ACLU let us please understand that this is a review. It isn't necessary for you to agree. In fact, I'm sure Kevin couldn't care less of you agree.

And also to suggest that Kevin said that the "problems" in the movie are only realities in a minority relationship is absurd.

So chill out and stop attacking a critic. You're being ridiculous.

OH... and ROOTS and THE COSBY SHOW sucks balls!

Andy

Wow, Dickie, you're funny. Ok, Dickie, so what if this movie is geared towards a certain audience. What's your point or anyone's point regarding that fact. Tyler Perry's film gave us his view just like Kevin gave us his view of the movie but the difference is Kevin is not making any movies just reviewing them. Tyler's the director, writer and producer. He has the right to give any view he pleases. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Obviously, you seem to like something about his films. You've been to his screenings and other films. As far as the critic. You're right. He is just a critic. He's doing his job but it amazes me how one cannot step outside his eurocentric viewpoint and look inside lives that are not necessarily a reflection of him. Why couldn't Kevin review the film without making any references to race? You know, I tend to believe that "certain" people feel threatened because there's a film that is not centered around "them". Boy, Dickie Murph, that eurocentric worldview rears its ugly head once again.

Neil Miller

I think the point that everyone is missing here is that Kevin didn't ever say that this was a bad film, only that it wasn't his cup of tea. Whether intentional or not, I think that even Tyler Perry would agree that bald, fat white dudes from the Midwest aren't the target audience for this film. If you read the review, Kevin does say that for the movie was good for what it was. It's like saying that people who lived through the Holocaust can connect better with Schindler's List than those who did not. That's because they do connect better with the material. The point is that Kevin didn't connect with the material, but by no means does that make it a bad movie. That just means that if you are like Kevin (which I hope you are not), then you won't like it... And as for his review being not "objective", what is a critic but a subjective eye on film. I'm sorry, but that's what every critic does. If you want to read an objective view of this movie, go to IMDB.com and read the plot synopsis...

Why Did I Get Married?

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