Driftwood (Screamfest ‘06)

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on December 1, 2006

Release Date: TBD (Straight-to-DVD probable)

Driftwood you tricky [censor]. I’m going to be honest with you right now. I wasn’t going to go see this movie. It didn’t seem too horribly scary and I was in the mood to get my pants frightened off – a tough thing to do. Although you’d be amazed at how often I end up pants-less anyways. But Driftwood, directed by Tim Sullivan (Hood of Horror, 2001 Maniacs) and with no real names attached other than Diamond Dallas Page, offered up something new. Something exclusive. Tickets to the after party. So I grabbed a few buddies and we decided to go to this movie mainly to get into the after party. Mostly to get into the after party… Ok, just to get into the after party.

So did the movie pleasantly surprise me? No, afraid not. The story follows David, a youth troubled by the suicide of his “rock-star” older brother who is sent off to Driftwood, a youth rehabilitation facility. Or as most people call it, a prison. There he’s haunted by images of a dead boy who turns out to have died mysteriously (duh) and just happened to be the nephew of DDP’s character, the delightfully nasty Captain Doug Kennedy. Weird stuff happens, secrets are revealed, justice is done.

What did work? Well DDP was awesome. He’s not the worlds greatest actor but he himself is a good character. The girl playing his daughter, Baelyn Neff, was hot. And seated next to me, as chance would have it. A lot of cast and crew showed up, including writer/director Tim Sullivan, DDP, and the vast majority of the cast. Side note – DDP’s daughters initially sat next me and my friends, though they were taken to better seats. Good thing too. I’d hate to make a guy like DDP mad by hitting on his daughters, which I probably would have. Hey, I’m just saying!

Anyways, the story has an interesting angle on the real purpose of the youth camps which is to use manual labor to clean up old abandoned prisons and sell them as prime real-estate. Also there is some subplot involving DDP and his daughter and I think maybe their characters had sex. Yeah, incest. But I’m not sure. If they did, haha, that’s gross. If they didn’t – well, I was very confused and very close to removing my pants.

What didn’t work? Well it was an extremely low budget. The print we saw wasn’t exactly pristine and the special effects were lackluster and simple. Ever use photo shop? Ever use the effect “posterize?” Whoever worked on Driftwood did too. The conclusion was kind of weak as was the reveal of how the mystery kid died and the rock-star brother didn’t really figure in too much.

Again, I don’t like to be overly negative in my reviews, but being a critic makes us do a few things. We have to be honest. We have to respect our audience and we have to have strong opinions on film. If you read my reviews, I’m rarely conflicted or mixed and I try to tell it to you straight. Tim Sullivan opened up by saying this film represents his heart, he really wanted to tell this story. It’s not a gore fest like 2001 Maniacs (which I really enjoyed) but a more heartfelt tale. But it just didn’t do it for me and odds are it won’t for you. So I can’t really recommend this to anyone. It’s mostly boring, low budget, not quite horror, not quite drama and like the characters of Driftwood it just has trouble fitting in and finding its own place.

In conclusion, I say pass on this film. Though one of my friends called it “watchable” and it indeed it wasn’t painful to experience, I wouldn’t watch it again without monetary compensation and I don’t recommend it.

Final Grade: D-

On the Upside: DDP is cool. Tim Sullivan seems like a genuinely nice guy. Some of the actors shine – most do not.

On the Downside: Low budget, relatively weak script, mostly poor acting. Listen people, it is what is, and that’s a low-budget quasi-horror film.

On the Side: Was shot in about 15 days.

UPDATE: Did some research. DDP’s character was sleeping with his daughter.

RUMOR MILL: A little something extra for you. While doing a little research I found out an interesting rumor. Appearantly Tim Sullivan, director/writer, created a false name and was giving the movie positive reviews, ratings, and message board comments on IMDB.com. A member found him out and his subsequent message board comments were deleted by an administrator but his review remains. Interesting.

Read more articles by Robert Fure