Transformers

Posted by Joshua Martin (joshua@filmschoolrejects.com) on July 1, 2007

Yes, I’ve seen it. Yes. It’s awesome. Period.

Shia Lebouf, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel…. oh, and OPTIMUS FREAKING PRIME… all performed outstandingly under the direction of Michael Bay.

Holy crap.

No one can deny that there has been a whole shit storm of bad movies and sequels this summer, all of which feature an average story with weak-at-best appeal. Transformers, however, was orchestrated by a man who defines summer blockbuster, and was delivered on the back of a FREAKING TRANSFORMING SEMI WHO NOW OWNS PART OF MY SOUL. I will revoke your man card if you don’t go see this movie at least once.

No joke.

I’ll Google-map your house, show up, and revoke your privileges as a human male.

This experience was emotional, heart wrenching, and amazing. I’d argue it’s borderline a religious experience. There is action and story within 5 minutes of the start of the movie. I promise you after this movie, you want to stand up and clap like the members of a southern Baptist Church.

This movie revolves around a group of robots from a planet far from our own who go to war. The planet splits into two factions of war: the noble and honest Autobots, on earth to protect humanity, and a violent, unkind, destructive force known as the Decepitcons. Both are brought to earth to find an elusive cube called the “alspark” which will create life of whomever possesses it. The Autobots are on earth to find it and protect it, use it for rebuilding their planet, or destroy it. The Decepticons are on earth for one purpose alone, to get the cube and create an army to take over earth.

Placed square in this middle of the story is Shia LaBoeuf, or Sam as his character is called. Sam’s great grandfather found the cube a long time back, and hid how to communicate with and find this in clues he left. Sam was never intuitive enough to find it. That is… until Sam buys a yellow car, which is his baby. Bumblebee, as it’s affectionately known, is along to make sure that Sam doesn’t fall into the wrong hands and create havoc.

The robots owned.

I wont give up ANYTHING on them (i.e. who they are or why they come), however. If you want to see them, go see them for yourself. If you spend $10 at your movie theater to see it, you simply didn’t spend enough. The robots are amazing, outstanding, lifelike and hysterical at moments. It was great. I won’t tell you which ones other than Optimus and Megatron. Every single robot in this movie is amazing.

Megan Fox plays Sam’s love interest. She’s beautiful in the movie, and she’s not too froofy. She’s sexy when she has to be, so that viewers can buy the romance aspect of the film, but by no means is Megan a damsel in distress. This fact makes the storyline work beautifully. I didn’t have to suffer through too much love story. Yes, there was sexual tension. Most of the sexual tension was comedic and enjoyable for everyone. There were a few moments that wouldn’t be great for LITTLE kids, but that’s to be expected.

Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson gave great performances in their roles as U.S. Army soldiers. I know they didn’t get top billing, but they were amazing for second and third billing. Personally, I was impressed with how well Duhamel performs in the movie. Most people canned the notion of him and Gibson, but as a team they were funny and entertaining; an asset to the film. I’d like to see Bay expand these characters more in the future. You felt genuine emotion for both guys and that’s a hard thing to accomplish with a motion picture.

Holy sweet crap. A++. I couldn’t and wouldn’t see this movie any other way. 15 minutes into this movie, I wanted a sequel.

Read more articles by Joshua Martin