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By now you’ve probably read two or three dozen reviews of this film or already have seen it for yourself. But who would I be if I didn’t throw in my two cents on this epic? There’s been a lot made of the film’s runtime and it’s plotlines. Now, I’m not going to rehash what you’ve read. By now, you probably know what it’s about. East India Trading Co. Dead Jack. Rescued Jack. Squid-faced baddie. Love triangle. Father issues. Resolution.

So instead of a traditional review, I’m going to, for the most part, defend the movie against a lot of the criticisms against it as well as take a few shots across the bow. First up, the run-time. It clocks in at under three hours, but close enough to it that some people may have hesitations about the strength of their bladder. I’m not scared of an epic. Let’s not forget The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the other Pirates movies, The Good Shepherd and many other heavy hitters in the length department. The real key is how long the movie feels. I’ve seen movies with run times as short as 80 minutes that feel like a full 8-hour work day. Then there is a film like At World’s End, while it certainly is a long movie, at no point did I feel it drag. I never looked at my watch. I never crossed my legs and closed off my urethra to hold off the flood of a medium Diet Coke racing for freedom during the whirlpool scene. Yes, it’s long, but it doesn’t feel long. There is enough going on to keep you entertained and interested the whole time.

Plot lines. I’d be lying if I said I was no genius. The state of Pennsylvania recognized me as one. Granted that was when I was in the 3rd grade but I haven’t destroyed that many brain cells since then. Ahem. I never had a problem keeping track of what was going on. It’s actually all very straight forward. I think busting on the plot lines and twists is just the vogue thing to do right now because nothing else is really wrong with the movie. There may be a lot of feint double-crosses, but the characters always remain true to themselves. No matter who is saying what to who at what time, just remember who the character is. Jack Sparrow is always out to save himself first, then his friends, then the rum. Elizabeth is always trying to discover the real person behind the actions. Barbossa is always trying to sail off with the Pearl. Will Turner is always trying to do the right thing, in his mind. And for me, it was plain as day. I enjoyed it. Just sit back and enjoy it.

Some old geezers also complain that the movie is too frantic and there is too much going on the screen at any one time. Well, they’re old. Maybe their eyes don’t work as well. The film is pure eye candy and it looks amazing. The effects are great and the picture looks marvelous. I enjoyed the crazy action sequences that were just off the wall with swords, creatures, and bullets. It’s a fast and fun time that will have you willing to watch it again and again.

Right now you’re thinking, ok whatever, this guy loved it and he probably works for Disney or Jerry Bruckheimer. … Well you’re only half right – I stopped working on a Bruckheimer production last year and I’m on hiatus from Disney, but that doesn’t affect my opinion! It’s not a perfect film. The first is definitely better and at times I feel like maybe I enjoyed Dead Man’s Chest a bit more. There are a few spots in the middle of the film where I feel like “Man, this isn’t the Pirates movie I wanted it to be” or something along those lines. But then it picks up. Jack wins me back. The monkey is cute. Once the Pirate Lords are all gathered the movie takes off for me, into a realm of near perfection. There are one or two things I took issue with, but the last 35 minutes or so just blew me away. They looked great, the characters were spot on and it was fun. This really is a fitting end to this trilogy, though I am more than willing to show up for a fourth film! The film’s final minutes before the credits roll are perfect. To a T. They are great.

This is a fun film and deserves a good watch. Everyone deserves some credit. And as long as Geoffrey Rush and Johnny Depp agree to come back I think a fourth film was set up perfectly. Yo ho, yo ho.