I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Posted by Nathan Deen (nathan@filmschoolrejects.com) on July 22, 2007

“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is rotten to the core, not just bad but spectactularly bad. As I walked out of the theater I was shocked at how unbelievably awful and unfunny the movie was and I couldn’t imagine it being any worse. It kept getting worse and worse until the point I just had to cover my eyes in disbelief. The movie is almost designed to keep people away from it. It has no clear audience. It’s insulting to the homosexual community while at the same time it will have homophobes running for the exits. Ladies, if you think the movie sounds like it’s for you, don’t worry, it degrades you as well. It’s just a fascinating misfire.

This is the worst Adam Sandler flick since “Little Nicky” and somehow director Dennis Dugan manages to sink lower than 2006’s horrendous “The Benchwarmers.” Sandler’s performance here quickly goes from disappointing to pitiful. I felt he was actually on a bit of a roll with “The Longest Yard” and 2006’s “Click.” Kevin James’ performance is also a major step down after his surprisingly delightful performance as Albert in 2004’s “Hitch.” The only reason to see “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is for Jessica Biel and it’s not because of her acting.

This story is about Larry (James), who is having financial troubles as his wife is recently deceased. He had a year to file for a pension but never got around to it. Being a firefighter, he fears that he could die on the job any day and his kids would be left with nothing. He discovers a way out: domestic partnership, unfortunately the only one he knows that he could do it with is his best friend and fellow firefighter Chuck (Sandler) who has no choice but to comply since Larry saved his life.

Sandler’s Chuck is completely unbelievable from the moment we meet him. There’s no way a firefighter gets to have a sevensome with five hooters girl and a hot doctor. James’ Larry on the other hand isn’t very social with women as he can’t get over the death of his wife. He has two kids who play opposite roles. Little Eric (Cole Morgan) is close to the gayest of all the characters, wanting to sing in a school musical, and Tori (Shelby Adamowsky) is more of a young tomboy who digs baseball.

The jokes are terrible and the movie (like most Sandler pictures) is filled with creepy sub characters who are constantly referenced by cliched and immature sexual humor. It’s almost “Norbit” bad, just not as offensive. “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” doesn’t try to be mean, it just slips up on more than one occasion. Those situations when the writers weren’t thinking ahead while writing the script are apparent here.

When a decent joke did come up I couldn’t laugh because of the overwhelming hatred I was already feeling inside of me. Every time the film tries to redeem its self it fails miserably. There’s about five scenes too many involving someone doing a weird dance, including an old vagabond (the witness and Chuck and Larry’s wedding) dancing like a Russian soldier and Eric tap-dancing on several occassions. Just when you think it can’t get any worse here comes the shower scene featuring all the firefighters and two, not just one, bars of soap are dropped in slow motion and it was at this point where my jaw dropped in awe and agony. Talk about cliched. Then what worse actor could be chosen to pick up the soap other than Ving Rhames? If that’s not bad enough, then how about an overly obese fat guy (not Kevin James) in a marching parade wearing nothing but a tight thong?

The acting is the film’s biggest joke. “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” might be the biggest waste of a supporting cast so far this year. A list that includes Biel (who plays Chuck and Larry’s defense attorney), the usual Happy Madison team who play Sandler’s buddies, Rob Schneider (not listed), Dan Aykroyd (who manages to throw in the only memorable one-liner) Ving Rhames (who I am shocked to see play a gay guy) Steve Buscemi and David Spade (also not listed). There’s not one intelligent character in this movie, each one amateurishly written and ill-conceived. Each character is trying to be funny but the jokes are so trite it’s like watching an amateur comedian imploding during his first time on stage. As the movie goes along it seems like it’s one supporting character coming out of the closet after another. By the end I wanted to line up all of the characters and say “raise your hand if you are not gay.”

The film is like a straight guy who feels sorry for gays and tries to make them feel better but at the first sight of his homophobic friends he turns around and screams “faggot!” It’s no where near bold enough and consequently it comes off as horrifically lame. “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is like the recently released comedy about marriage “License to Wed.” It’s every bit as bad and even worse that Adam Sandler is playing Mandy Moore’s role.

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