Movie Review
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Posted by Kevin Carr (kevin@filmschoolrejects.com) on April 13, 2007
There was only one thing running through my mind when I saw “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters,†and that was: What were they thinking?
Oh god, what the fuck were they thinking?
Before I start my vicious diatribe, I will confess that I have never watched the television show on Adult Swim. I knew nothing of the Aqua Teen story. Maybe I was missing something. I thought the trailer was pretty funny, so I figured I might be able to enjoy the film, picking up on it without having seen the show, as I did for “Reno 911!: Miami.â€
Sadly, this wasn’t the case. It was a painful, excruciating experience that will haunt me to the end of my days.
I cannot begin to explain what the film is about. There was no attempt to give newbies a chance to understand the characters, the setting or even the humor of the show. It just jumped into a mess with Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad trying to occasionally fight a psychotic exercise machine. Of course, the plot, if you could call it that, jumped away from this idea constantly, giving the film about as much continuity as a poorly constructed “Beavis and Butthead†episode.
Because six other films were released on the same day as “Aqua Teen,†and only two were screened by the studios, I had planned to see several other movies during the day. However, after the early 10:45 a.m. showing of “Aqua Teen†was done, I discovered it had happed my will to see any other movie that day. Nay, scratch that. It practically sapped my will to breathe another breath, to take another step, to live another day.
In fact, the only thing “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters†did was inspire me to race home to my trusty laptop to vomit this venom and bile of hatred on the virtual page.
Words cannot describe how bad this film is. You could clone Rosie O’Donnell a thousand times over, feed them a constant diet of baked beans and coleslaw for 40 days and 40 nights, and they still wouldn’t produce a pile of shit as big as this movie.
Was the $4 I spent on the ultra-discounted before-noon showing a waste? Abso-fucking-lutely. I’d want my money back if it were a free screening. Hell, I honestly feel that the filmmakers and Ted Turner owe me, my family and my future descendants for years to come reparations for this cinematic dog turd.
I simultaneously urge and caution against eager, young filmmakers seeing “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.†I urge because it will make them realize that they could do something as talentless and inane as photographing the ingrown hair on my chubby, white butt cheeks, and they’d have as good of a chance as any for Ted Turner to fund their “art.†Or, they’ll kill themselves with a rusty razor blade, realizing that Hollywood via Atlanta is for morons.
“Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters,†is by far the worst film of this year. I am in awe, not just that it was green lit, but that the great Zeus himself did not emerge from the heaven and rain down a cleansing firestorm of destruction on the production of this film, mercifully sending its memory into oblivion.
Now that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have rid the airwaves of Don Imus, they should focus on the real crime against humanity, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.†Racism be damned. This film is worse. I fear for the future of the human race, for if enough people see this movie, there will be mass suicides across this great nation.
Read more articles by Kevin Carr
31 Comments
April 13th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
You really CANNOT enjoy the movie, or give a fair review about it, unless you have watched the show. Not loyally, mind you, but you need the basic storyline and perhaps a few characters at the very least. I’d at the very least consider racism worse than this movie.
April 14th, 2007 at 1:29 am
I watched the show once.
What a piece of CRAP?!
I can’t imagine that the movie could POSSIBLY BE WORSE than the damn show, but I guess it may be possible. It makes me wonder which pot smoking Hollywood exec gives the go-ahead on this poop.
April 14th, 2007 at 3:22 am
Cool… is it going to be seen internationally? I can’t wait for the free screening… to ask my money back!
April 17th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
this movie rocked just like the show you need to have a sense of humor to love it..A+…lighten up you cocks
April 18th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
A sense of humor is not that which is required to enjoy this show. Lots and Lots of illegal drugs are required. Every time I have seen this TV show the ONLY people who were laughing (and, yes, they were cracking up) were extremely high, and those of us who were not laughing, were not high.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
personally, I think it was an error bringing the show to the cinemas. If you have nothing to do late at night, turn on the tv, sit down, relax and have a nice laugh at nonsense. end of story.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:00 am
Seriously, you guys are douche bags.
For one, have you honestly watched the show?
No.
Is this movie meant for people who haven’t watched the show?
No.
So go be a fruit somewhere else before you criticize a great movie.
You know the reason why not many people showed up?
It wasn’t advertised.
So thanks for being jerks to one of the best cartoons on the television.
Thanks for being gay,
Alex.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:39 am
Alex — Here is something to ponder.
No one is saying that this doesn’t work well as a TV show. There are tons of fans. The problem with crossing a TV show over to a movie is that you are introducing it to people who are not already fans of the show. In order to do that effectively, you have to make a film that brings people into the joke and helps them understand what is going on — that is where this film failed. It didn’t gain any new fans.
And sadly, if there was such a broad fan base and the film wasn’t meant for those who have not seen the show, why would they need advertising? Fans of the show knew that the movie was coming out. But the film still failed. If the fan base was so loyal, wouldn’t it have done better?
April 21st, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Dude, the reason why no one even really saw ATHF was because they planned the movie horribly.
There are 22 movies out right now, and ATHF just so happens to be not popular because it is a TV show played at 12 am.
They did not release it any many theaters.
They did not advertise at all.
And the only fans that actually knew about it were potentially obsessed with its glorious
humor, because once again THE SHOW WAS ONLY ADVERTISED ON ADULT SWIM AND ON THE INTERNET!
Not all people watch it constantly.
Not all people go onto the internet to see the movies, they watch the television, and ATHF didn’t advertise the movie on the television.
But Neil, I do agree with one thing of your comeback (if it was even meant to be that), AQUA TEEN did not do a very good job transferring its brilliance into the movie so the new fans could understand the movie.
But seriously, did you read what the guy said?
He makes no point at all at how the movie sucks, except for “I have never seen the show and I didn’t understand it”.
For the rest of the review, all he does is come up with stupid lines.
Such as:
“Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters,†is by far the worst film of this year. I am in awe, not just that it was green lit, but that the great Zeus himself did not emerge from the heaven and rain down a cleansing firestorm of destruction on the production of this film, mercifully sending its memory into oblivion.”
He gives no reason why this film is this bad except for “I did not understand the plot”.
According to one of the critics:
“Surprisingly, the movie receiving the most enthusiastic reviews this weekend is the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. Kyle Smith comments in the New York Post: “The big-screen version of the demented Cartoon Network hit is often hilarious and always surreal.”"
April 21st, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Ah Alex, we are just here for the sake of discussion, not to fight. So let’s continue…
Honestly, I know Kevin very well (we do a podcast called Fat Guys at the Movies, you should check it out) and I predicted that he would like Aqua Teen. He generally likes that type of humor. But when he comes back from the screening and says “It sucked out my will to see other movies,” that is not good.
It is very disappointing, for the sake of the show, that they couldn’t make a better flick. It seems like a show that, at least within its fanbase, is very addictive.
Oh, and by the way… Please don’t quote the likes of Kyle Smith on our site… We don’t dig “real” (aka snobby) film critics around here… ;-)
April 21st, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Okay, I’m sorry Neil.
It’s annoying that he makes fun of that movie, it was a great movie to some.
But an “F”?
April 21st, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Well, it is a very polarizing film.
Case and point, check out my good friend John Ross’ review. He gave it an A. He and Kevin have been going back and forth for a week about this. I really think that you either really liked it or really hated it; there is no middle ground.
As far as Kevin making fun of it… That’s just how he rolls. I’ve seen worse.
Thus, there has been some great discussion…
April 21st, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Okay, if you’re not a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, you shouldn’t have even wasted your money. What were YOU thinking?
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:42 am
Jack — We are film critics. We have to plow through the bad ones so that you don’t have to. Now, people who are not fans of the show (like Kevin) will know what to expect…
April 22nd, 2007 at 4:21 am
How can you critique something of which you have no understanding of? It’s like critiquing music you have never listened to or have had a particular taste with. Or being a judge of realistic art judging a romantic painting. How can criticizing be an art if criticizing is about point of views? In my opinion, it is unfair to judge a movie so harshly if you don’t understand the language it speaks. I’ve watched the movie and I watch the television show. And I honestly didn’t believe the movie was up to par. I’ve understood it’s humor, it’s allusions, and though it has its moments it wasnt as good as I expected. But it is unfounded to be so prejudiced against a movie. If you don’t know about something, find out or don’t say anything at all. I mean if you are movie critics you have to do more than sit around in theatres and watch movies all day. Movie critics know where a movie is coming from and then praises it or drops it.
April 22nd, 2007 at 11:23 am
Seems like everybody hates your review, hmmmmmmm, wonder why.
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Because he gave it an F and the show’s fanboys are offended?
I’d say that’s why.
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I was being sarcastic.
April 22nd, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I just checked this thread, which is why my response was so late. (I guess I blocked as much of ATHF out of my mind after my harrowing experience last week.)
For the record, I do state at the start of my review that I’ve never seen the show, and there were several show fanboys in the theater when I saw it who loved the movie. Still, if you’re going to release a film, it’s gotta be for the masses, or at least to get a new audience. Otherwise, why put it in theaters. Just do a DVD release.
Ultimatley, I did get what they were doing. That seems to be the fall-back for people who disagree with this review… that I just didn’t get it. Trust me, I got it. I just thought it was stupid. Hence the scathing review.
And it seems that by and large, most of the movie-going public agrees with me. Less than $1 million in its second week? That’s worse than Grindhouse’s drop. (And I like that one.)
April 22nd, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Also, please send us your comments to fatguys@filmschoolrejects.com, or better yet, call us at (614) 388-8735. We’ll play your comments on our next podcast.
K
April 23rd, 2007 at 1:20 am
I’m a fan of ATHF. I liked the movie, but my very first thought was “I’d never recommend this movie to someone that wasn’t already a fan of ATHF.” It just doesn’t translate, there’s too much history. It’s too random and pointless, otherwise. And even as a fan, that enjoyed the movie, I have to say the movie could have been even better. A “must watch” for fans, a “must avoid” for others. For outsiders I would recommend season 1 on DVD before the movie.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:03 am
“Alex says:
April 21st, 2007 at 1:00 am
Seriously, you guys are douche bags.
For one, have you honestly watched the show?
No.
Is this movie meant for people who haven’t watched the show?
No.
So go be a fruit somewhere else before you criticize a great movie.
You know the reason why not many people showed up?
It wasn’t advertised.
So thanks for being jerks to one of the best cartoons on the television.
Thanks for being gay,
Alex.”
For the record Alex, I’m gay and I love this show. I also laughed my ass off during the movie.
But thanks for being a bigoted, homophobic piece of human trash. Not sure why people like you need to spew hate speech to get a totally unrelated point across, but I’m sure it has something to do with your lacking pf something, intellectually or otherwise.
As for the review, I completely understand why this movie only appeals to certain people. I would think though, to be fair, Mr. Carr could have said so (as in “I didn’t enjoy it, but perhaps a fan of the show would”) rather than just trashing it as if nobody could possibly like it.
And for the record, no I do not do drugs. I just love the show’s weird sense of humor, characters, and nonsense.
It was also relatively inexpensive to make, so just because it won’t bring in billions of dollars like Spider-man 3 doesn’t mean it won’t make a profit. In fact I believe Adult Swim already made back all the money it owed Boston for the bomb scare.
If you are a fan I would definitely reccomend it.
April 28th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
The biggest problem is the people that didn’t like the movie thought. Yes, you thought. Instead of shutting off your brains once you walked into the movie, you thought. You actually looked at it like it should make sense in any way, shape, or form. It doesn’t. It was never supposed to. It would of helped a lot if you had seen an episode or two before going to see the movie because then you would have known what you were getting yourself into.
ATHF has the kind of humor that any self-respecting mature human being should not laugh at, but give that same human being 2-3 beers and show him the same jokes, he will laugh. This is why shutting down you brain before going into the movie is a must. Not only for the fact that it makes no sense whatsoever and if you do try to make sense of it your head will explode, but this is also probably the easiest way to find the humor in it.
Again, as a few people have said up there, if you are a fan of the show then the movie is one of the most amazing things you will ever see.
April 29th, 2007 at 12:09 am
wow, are you kidding? you saw the movie and the fist thing you thought of was to write about it on he computer.
you dont even need to see the show, My friend saw it never seen the show and loved it. This reveiwer is a pile of shit, your one of those butt fuck fruitcakes who watches the veiw and cranks it. your a gay shitbag with no taste just because its different doesnt make it bad, you fruit fucking cake you are seriously the buggest pile of steamy dog shit ever, so is anyone else that trashes this movie
April 29th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Eshto said:
“For the record Alex, I’m gay and I love this show. I also laughed my ass off during the movie.
But thanks for being a bigoted, homophobic piece of human trash. Not sure why people like you need to spew hate speech to get a totally unrelated point across, but I’m sure it has something to do with your lacking pf something, intellectually or otherwise.”
My bad dude. I get caught up in the trend nowadays of saying “gay” to mean “stupid” or “dumb” (no clue why that’s a trend anyways).
And I didn’t mean it like that, I should’ve thought before I wrote that dumb garbage. I was jsut really pissed that this actually got an “F” grade.
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:24 am
Well, all drama aside, I’ve watched the cartoon on Adult Swim and work at the movie theater. I can tell you, it played for a couple of days on our screens but was taking off. Everyone in production hated it and I’ll admit the review was horribly funny.
It’s not something I’d go taking offense over, but after awhile the advertisement I did keep seeing was really lame, “F U go see our movie” was how it felt like it was coming across, but they weren’t really all there when they did release it. It was just after the Boston Bomb scare that still had a bad name attached to it; along with the fact that way too many movies were coming out or about to be release. It’s expensive to go to the theater as it is, so it’s not like people want to ‘waste’ their money on it when they can wait for it on DVD.
Regardless though, I saw the movie and ended up walking out. And I do, get in for free. It was a bunch of junk, a random thing that shouldn’t have been made into a movie but just hit DVD. Like Family Guy did, unless your great like The Simpsons, no one really gives a flying fuck about some midnight mantee. That’s only aired in ungodly hours of the day. But that’s just my personal take on it.
July 19th, 2007 at 3:53 am
Actually nobody is being high & mighty ..
The show just ain’t funny..
It just plain sucks..
It’s trendy babble for those who feel like the humor is somehow avante garde..
It’s purposely off the beaten path just for the sake of grabbing an audience.
I’ve sat through many a show & tried to laugh..
Just wasn’t happening..
Robot Chicken is funny
Family Guy is funny..
Old school Simpsons is funny..
this show is a waste of a time slot..
November 11th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
i’m really getting tired of people who have never watched the show or have no idea
what the shows all about trashing the show like nobody likes it or ever watches it.
i am personaly a fan of this show and i enjoyed the movie even though it could have been better. you need to actually give the show a chance before you totally trash it on the internet. i think that if you don’t find the show even slightly funny then you have no sense of humor at all. oh, and incase your wondering i don’t use drugs and i haven’t taken a drink of alchohal in my life. so if you are about to write a trashy review about a show or movie think about it and what others will think of it. thanks for listening.
December 2nd, 2007 at 8:34 pm
I really enjoyed this movie, and like the girl above me, have never taken a drink of alcohol or any other drug. It all depends on your sense of humor. I know people who absolutely HATE the show. I wouldn’t recommend the movie. I know people who love it, and I’d watch this with them. Of course, you need to see the show to get the majority of the jokes in the movie. Lots of them refer back to jokes previously aired on the show, which is the main reason many people didn’t like this movie.
December 24th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Well, i liked the show and the movie that doesn’t make it good I’m just saying no matter how much you argue this out you either you liked it or disliked it and everyone who is saying it sucked well that’s your opinion, and those who say it doesn’t well that’s your opinion (and mine) instead dragging this out or (like a few people did) insult others and curse at them just respect their opinion, then ignore it completely act like it never happened and pretend everyone agrees with you =D but do it in your own mind not publicly because that just gets annoying and those of you who are saying well you didn’t watch the show you didn’t give it a chance, they gave it a chance by watching the movie watching the show wouldn’t help if anything make it worse i mean the damn show is pointless and random (though funny as hell in my opinion) just as much as i loved the movie i still think this should have been a dvd release then we all would be happy
December 31st, 2007 at 1:50 pm
[…] – Fat Guy Kevin Carr is still getting hate mail from fanboys who loved the show. But he stands by his review. This was possibly one of the worst films ever […]