Charlotte’s Web

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on December 20, 2006

I know what you’re thinking. With a cast this huge, how can it be bad? Well, it probably can’t be bad. But that doesn’t mean it’s good. Listen, I loved the cartoon as a kid and probably haven’t watched it in at least six years. I don’t think this need re-made and generally I give the “OK” to remakes. Oh well.

You all know the story. Runt pig gets saved by little girl. Runt pig is going to get eaten. Spider to the rescue by spinning word-webs that make people think pig is amazing. Cool rat. Spider dies. Pig lives. Baby spiders. (Gross)

What’s new? Well the voices. And Dakota Fanning. Not a huge fan of her and she didn’t do anything special here. I’m sure most will be fine with her. Loved Steve Buscemi as the rat, Templeton. Pure gold. Although they cut out his song at the fair, I believe called “smorgesboard” or however you spell it. Templeton’s time at the fair is still hilarious though. Julia Robert’s Charlotte came across a little flat and lifeless to me. Sort of like when you’re bored and reading to kids. I mean, for those of you who do that.

The CGI is obviously fantastic, though Charlotte ain’t cute anymore, she’s a spider. Yuck. All the human actors do fine. All the voice work is great. Not too big a fan of Oprah as Gussy the Goose, but liked Robert Redford as Ike the Horse. And Andre Benjamin and Thomas Hayden Church as the two crows are spot on awesome. Loved their stuff.

Overall, there is nothing really new here. It’s a good story. The cartoon, I felt, was better. But there is nothing “wrong” with this remake. It is what it is. Your kids will enjoy it, though some may cry – hell, I tear up and I am a MAN. Notice I put it all in capitals, really emphasizing it.

I just don’t have it in my heart to give it a bad rating, so I’m probably fluffing the grade a little. But if you’re interested in seeing it-see it. It’s not bad at all. My friends liked it. Chicks may dig it. It should entertain kids. But do yourself a favor – watch the original again sometime.

But if that’s unavailable or you dig CGI or you really want to hit up the movie theater one more time, this isn’t a waste of money. It’s actually a nice little time at the movies, though it could have been more, I think.

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