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We’ve come a long long way together, Mel, through the good times and the bad. And I want to celebrate you baby, like I know I should. Mel Gibson has had a tough year. Got a little drunk, did a little driving, pointed some fingers, called a cop “sugar tits.” But I still love you, Mel. You are forgiven.

With Apocalypto Mel takes the approach of let’s not speak English, hire famous actors, or shoot anywhere near civilization. And it worked for him! This movie is a pretty sweet deal. At first I was a little put off by the naked male asses everywhere. Just kidding. You’ll hardly notice them. Unless you want to. But the characters who are so unfamilair to me spoke like me. Made fun of each other and had a good time. I didn’t expect that because you rarely get that in a period piece.

The story follows Jaguar’s Paw as he fights to save his wife and son and gain his freedom from his captors. His entire village is dead or enslaved and to be sacrificed to the sun. However, after an eclipse the more savage tribe decides the sun god is pleased and decides to just regular-kill the captives instead of the elaborate ceremony. This affords Jaguar’s Paw the chance to not only escape, but also earn a good kill.

From here on out it’s a crazy race. Jaguar’s Paw only ever a few steps ahead of the hunting party out for revenge. It’s a fun chase that interesects with wasps, punji pits, waterfalls, poison darts (and frogs!) and, of course, a bad-ass Jaguar. That was my favorite scene! You can probably guess what happens, but I’ll give you a clue. It finally proves the ol’ adage “You don’t have to be faster than the (jaguar), you just have be faster than the people around you.” LOVED IT.

The direction is good, the acting is good, the story is good and the location is sweet. It’s not perfect and the ending can give some people a sort of chuckle, but I was ok with it. I liked the action. The violence isn’t nearly as bad as people say it is. We’ve all seen worse.