Movie Review: ‘Rambo’ is Ugly and Sad

Posted by Loukas Tsouknidas (loukas@filmschoolrejects.com) on January 22, 2008

Sylvester Stallone tried to give a proper farewell to his world known character Rocky Balboa last year after 5 movies, and he pretty much did it with dignity. Now, he attempts to do the same with John Rambo. The outcome is as much ugly as it is sad.

Rocky Balboa was a film about a former boxer, a beat down character that spectators might like or even feel genuinely sorry for. Speculating on that, Stallone went along (although falling off the simplistic melodrama cliff more than once as expected) and nailed the ending with great boxing action and one last deserving moment of shine for an average man’s hero. But a lean mean killing machine that finds himself again in ripping off guts with his hands is a bit too much to root for in any other way but for laughs.

Rambo could be a good senseless gut-fest if it didn’t start off with documentary images of the Burma civil war victims or continue with a lot of talking from those obnoxious American church people. Unfortunately Stallone couldn’t help putting some sort of message to Rambo’s walk away fest, projecting him as a product of the system who just can’t get away from what he was shaped to be: a bad ass commando super-killer. So, he puts that to use for a good cause.

Obviously, the bad guys kill and rape without pause plus they shout incoherently without making any sense whenever they open their mouths. That should work fine if the head mercenary didn’t give that self-righteous speech about how he does it to feed his wife and three kids. Kind of a too obvious blow to the spectator’s intelligence here, though he gets his foot blown off later and i couldn’t help liking that.

On top of the whole lack of self-awareness came the bad CGI explosions and slaughtering that looked like they were copied from some computer game. They looked so cheap and unrealistic that i laughed (out of embarrassment i think) even before some poor guy got split in half by a machete or an explosion.

Unfortunately Rambo is sadder than Stallone’s permanent facial expression. It’s badly directed, looking too cheap for a 2008 war movie and exploits its main character rather than dignifying him as a proper farewell would. At least he was right about one thing: when you’re pushed… giving an “F” is as easy as breathing.

Grade: F


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  • LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
    LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
    LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
    RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

    That's my way of saying while your review is probably spot on, I'm still seeing this opening weekend because I'm a mindless, violence obsessed male aged 18-34.

    LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
  • Mike
    yawn...what a worthless review...sounds like you went in with the opinion you were coming out with...worthless documentary footage?? Ya sure its so horrible for stallone wanting to bring light to a crisis in Burma..but too bad us Americans who are so self centered dont care..

    but hey..the first 3 rambos didnt get good reviews...why should I listen now?? or I guess i could go see Juno...
  • Mike -- you should go see Juno.

    But also, go see Rambo and come back and let us know what you think...
  • Sounds like next year's prime entry for a GAG award.
  • Instead of seeing Juno see "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale!"

    On second thought, don't.
  • Loukas
    I could spare my eyes of this retro-kiddy-gun-fest easily because noone over here cares for a review. The greek audience dumped Rocky Balboa last year as they will dump John Rambo next week because let's face it, it only moves thirty something film freaks like me out of nostalgia and nothing more but the 7 euro price on movies keeps even them away. That's the reason i went plus cause i liked Rocky's exit flick and hoped for something similar.

    Most people left the press-screening since "Juno" screened right before and that's what they were there for. I stayed till the end credits. When something sucks it just does and there is nothing you can do about it. CGI toy slaughters are not a dignifying exit for the man they call John Rambo. Go, see and sympathize...
  • Loukas, check back this weekend for my review of RAMBO! I really enjoyed Rocky Balboa and love guns, so maybe we'll be in agreement on Rambo!
  • Loukas
    OK
  • Jim
    I think you're just afraid of Rambo.
  • screwyou
    Rambo is the *#()@. Screw you and your review.
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