Dragon Wars: D-War

Posted by Nathan Deen (nathan@filmschoolrejects.com) on September 15, 2007

post-dwar2.jpg

Move over Uwe Boll and James Wan, there’s a new sheriff of Flopville and his name is Hyung-rae Shim, director of “Dragon Wars” (a.k.a “D-War”). We all have that movie that makes us say “no movie can be worse than that.” For me, “Dragon Wars” is that movie. I don’t care what movie you hate the most, it’s probably not as bad as this. “D-War” really is quite possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

And yet I feel like I have to thank Mr. Shim. After viewing “D-War,” I realized that perhaps I shouldn’t give up my ambition to try and make films. Before I saw “D-War,” I always thought “Well, I’m happy being a critic and a journalist and most people in the film business don’t make it anyways.” Which lead me to the question of how in the hell did this movie ever make it to the big screen. To think that my theater chose to screen this instead of “Eastern Promises.” Has the world gone insane? If Mr. Shim can make it to the big screen, then so can I. Is that what the film industry has come to?

If there is one downside to being a critic, it’s not being able to walk out of the theater in the middle of an abomination such as this. It’s literally tortuous, as in if I had something to confess, I would have squealed it out in about five minutes. As I left the theater I saw people getting out of their seats with disgust and confusion on their faces.

Why even bother with a plot summary? I didn’t know what the hell was going on throughout the entire movie. Director Shim is on crack and there’s no other explanation for what transpires on screen. The movie is supposed to be centered around a 500 year old legend about dragons. Basically, there’s a good dragon with a group of human followers and if they get this whatchama-call-it they will bring peace to the world. There’s also a bad dragon and a group of followers, and if they get the whatchama-call-it they will bring about the destruction of the world.

Then there’s this girl who at the age of twenty, possess the whatchama-call-it. Then there’s this guy who is supposed to be her protector. These two are supposed to be reborn every 500 years. That’s where we enter present day and they are reborn as two young Americans, Ethan (Jason Behr) and Sarah (Amanda Brooks). Enter the bad dragon and his army to hunt down the girl and for some reason, the good dragon isn’t even seen until the end.

The beginning of the film is just an awful, confusing, boring background story and it takes way too long for the action to settle in. Then the middle of the film is pretty much the same scene recycled over and over again. The dragon finds where Ethan and Sarah are and a chase scene follows. Then they hide somewhere else, then the dragon finds them again and another chase scene follows. The climatic battle scene between the U.S. military and the dragon army is like “Transformers” with lizards. There’s not just a huge dragon, but these other lizards, which are not explained, that fly and shoot fire balls and have rocket launchers attached to their backs. I swear I’m not making this up. The final scene is in this really weird location and I guess Shim thinks it’s okay not to tells us where.

He does this with a lot of stuff, creating a giant, confusing, and convoluted mess. The scenes are of the cheapest kind. I think the scene where Ethan and Sarah kiss on the beach under the sun just moments after they’ve met is where I slapped myself across the face to make sure the world was still turning. Not even the headlining special effects are good. There’s not one aspect of this film that doesn’t fall under the category of awful.

Director Shim has stolen an hour-and-a-half of my life and $7.50 of my money and I want them back. Seriously, I’m not saying that to be funny. I’ve never actually felt robbed of my money before. Shim, in my mind, is no different than a criminal. I urge you in the strongest terms possible not to waste your time and money on this godforsaken movie.

Grade: F


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  • Kim, Hui Young
    The Myths of the Dragon & Ryong-the Eastern dragon


    The Dragons in the Beowulf or the ring of the Nibelungs look like the amplified shape of the Comodo-the gigantic lizard. On the other hand, the Ryong(龍), the Oriental dragon, has the synthetic images of the characteristic parts from the 12 other animals. For example, the face of the Ryoung can be imagined by something of the synthetic result out of the horn of a deer, the eyelids of a tiger, the nose of a pig, the tongue of a snake etc.




    The most conspicious difference between the Dragon and the Ryong lies in the stomach; the one has the very large stomach, the other the slender one. I wonder What is in the gigantic stomach of the Dragon? It might be the ambition and the pioneering attitude of the Occidental peoples. On the other hand, the slender one of the Ryong has the highest and transcendent spirits of the Orientalism. As you see the synthetic shape from other 12 animals, He has the harmonious mind toward the others, and has the state of spirit from the temperance of desire and the overcome of the egos.



    The Western Dragon may stand for the desire for material, power, fame and so on. So the dragon needs a big stomach-the ideal model to the extremely possessive desire of the inner part of mind. As a result, he usually lives in the dark caves or swamps. At this point, I wonder why does he live in such gloomy places like those? I think the Stoicism of the Middle Ages rendered to look down upon the desire for the material as humane. The Ryong(龍) stands for the spiritual state of what the Orient people want to be, non-possession, transcendence for worldly values. So he lives in the higher and higher blue sky and he is away from the earthly world.


    Imoogie


    The dragons in the western legend are not the main characters and they are doomed to be killed by the epic heroes like Beowulf or Siegfried, whereas the Ryongs in the Eastern legend are the almighty characters and the Saints who are rejoicing leisurely in the blue sky and occasionally appear in the human world to punish the evils that disorder the world. The good Imoogie in the 'Dragon War', are supposed to upgrade to the Ryong(龍) and has such a title role to punish the evil Braqui-the bad Imoogie.




    Director Shim Hyung Rae, who are called the Korean Chalie Chaplin, has focused especially on the Korean Imoogie legend. There are a variety of version of Imoogie legends in Korea. Mostly the legend goes as follows; a big snake about 500 year old has got to have some kind of personality or spirit and he is believed to become a Ryong-the eastern dragon. To be a Ryong, he needs 500 years of discipline and penance and eventually he needs Yeuju-the crystalloid of spirit and his long discipline. If he tries to be Ryong without them, he will surely be chastised by the wrath of The God. The Buraqi in Dragon War is the character of the bad Imoogie who wants to be a Ryong without the permission of The God. The more you come to know about the Korean Imoogie legend, the more delicately you can enjoy this film, Dragon War.




    Director Shim & Young-Gu Art are making a new legend of the Asian film history by succeeding in emboding the legendary creatures into the magnificent characters on the screen with the help of the gorgeous computer graphics. If you miss this film, I'm sure you will regret for good.




    -- Written by Culture columnist Kim, Hui Young
  • Kim, Hui Young
    (note) 龍 in blank is pronounced 'Ryong'-the eastern dragon, in Chinese Letter

    김휘영 / 문화평론가, bignews@bignews.co.kr 등록일: 2007-08-16 오전 10:04:08



    ▲ '디워'의 서사구조는 치밀하고 탄탄하다
    ⓒ 디워
  • Ray
    My God, I could barely manage to get through Kim's tiresome and ridiculous explanation of the legend, let alone a whole movie about it. Nearly every fantasy/sci-fi film that emerges from that part of the world is clogged with such inane backstory bullshit. The last one that made any sense was the original Godzilla back in the 1950's: giant lizard rises from the sea and smashes shit. Ever since then, these films just drone on and on with endless, incomprehensible lies.

    We at The Rec Show feel the same way you do, Nate ... which is why we want to make movies, too. We should pool our resources and make it happen.

    www.therecshow.com
  • Kim, Hui Young
    Ray / How can U say like this? U seems to know nothing about the Korean Legend of Imoogie. It's far from bullshit story; a very old and old myth like that of the northern Scandnavian- the tale of God Odin- the heroes of Tors If u don't know about much, I think , U'd better not to speak much, it's against manner! The Film- D-war has nothing to do with Godzilla except for quite a little similarity of genre.

    Actually, Dargon War is not a Monstrous creature Film but a Fantasy Film. The D-war film is based not on the just simple story, but on the long long legend. You might not know the legend, it's true there are a variety of versions of the Imoogie legends in Korea. In the Asian countries the 'Ryong'-the eastern dragon- sometimes means the King. For example, they call the king's face as the face of Ryong, the throne as the chair of the Ryong, the clothes of the King as the Ryong's customes, etc.
  • Kim, Hui Young
    Ray/ IF u can use a Chinese-English dictionary, U can understand what I mean.
    龍顔 - the Chinese Letter means the Face of the monarch
    龍布-the Chinese Letter means the costums of the monarch
  • Kim, Hui Young
    The Myths of the Dragon & Ryong-the Eastern dragon

    The Dragons in the Beowulf or the ring of the Nibelungs look like the amplified shape of the Comodo-the gigantic lizard. On the other hand, the Ryong(龍), the Oriental dragon, has the synthetic images of the characteristic parts from the 12 other animals. For example, the face of the Ryoung can be imagined by something of the synthetic result out of the horn of a deer, the eyelids of a tiger, the nose of a pig, the tongue of a snake etc.

    The most conspicious difference between the Dragon and the Ryong lies in the stomach; the one has the very large stomach, the other the slender one. I wonder What is in the gigantic stomach of the Dragon? It might be the ambition and the pioneering attitude of the Occidental peoples. On the other hand, the slender one of the Ryong has the highest and transcendent spirits of the Orientalism. As you see the synthetic shape from other 12 animals, He has the harmonious mind toward the others, and has the state of spirit from the temperance of desire and the overcome of the egos.

    The Western Dragon may stand for the desire for material, power, fame and so on. So the dragon needs a big stomach-the ideal model to the extremely possessive desire of the inner part of mind. As a result, he usually lives in the dark caves or swamps. At this point, I wonder why does he live in such gloomy places like those? I think the Stoicism of the Middle Ages rendered to look down upon the desire for the material as humane. The Ryong(龍) stands for the spiritual state of what the Orient people want to be, non-possession, transcendence from worldly values. So he lives in the higher and higher blue sky and he is away from the earthly world.

    Imoogie

    The dragons in the western legend are not the main characters and they are doomed to be killed by the epic heroes like Beowulf or Siegfried, whereas the Ryongs in the Eastern legend are the almighty characters and the Saints who are rejoicing leisurely in the blue sky and occasionally appear in the human world to punish the evils that disorder the world. The good Imoogie in the 'Dragon War', are supposed to upgrade to the Ryong(龍) and has such a title role to punish the evil Braqui-the bad Imoogie.

    Director Shim Hyung Rae, who are called the Korean Chalie Chaplin, has focused especially on the Korean Imoogie legend. There are a variety of version of Imoogie legends in Korea. Mostly the legend goes as follows; a big snake about 500 year old has got to have some kind of personality or spirit and he is believed to become a Ryong-the eastern dragon. To be a Ryong, he needs 500 years of discipline and penance and eventually he needs Yeuju-the crystalloid of spirit and his long discipline. If he tries to be Ryong without them, he will surely be chastised by the wrath of The God. The Buraqi in Dragon War is the character of the bad Imoogie who wants to be a Ryong without the permission of The God. The more you come to know about the Korean Imoogie legend, the more delicately you can enjoy this film, Dragon War.

    Director Shim & Young-Gu Art are making a new legend of the Asian film history by succeeding in emboding the legendary creatures into the magnificent characters on the screen with the help of the gorgeous computer graphics. If you miss this film, I'm sure you will regret for good.

    – Written by Culture columnist Kim, Hui Young From bignews@bignews.co.kr

    (Note) 龍 in blank is pronounced 'Ryong'-the eastern dragon, in Chinese Letter
  • Mister Hand
    Ray said: "Nearly every fantasy/sci-fi film that emerges from that part of the world is clogged with such inane backstory bullshit."

    I would point to THE HOST as an excellent monster flick that doesn't rely on any sort of inane backstory.

    But furthermore, I would suggest you do a little examination of your own culture before making such a broad statement. Plenty of films are made in the U.S. that rely on what many other cultures would describe as "inane backstory." Imagine someone from Japan, China, or Korea trying to slog through NATIONAL TREASURE or THE DAVINCI CODE.

    Actually, THE DAVINCI CODE sucks balls even if you know the backstory, so that's probably a bad example. But there are plenty others I'm sure you could come up with if you cared to.

    And it sounds to me that the problem Nate had with D-WARS wasn't that the backstory was inane, it was more that it wasn't explained. Plenty of perfectly fine films rely on silly "legendary" type backstories and myths for their launching points. Without those, we certainly wouldn't have had an Indiana Jones trilogy.

    As for Kim, Hui Young... whoa. Sorry. I couldn't quite motivate myself to read all your dragon stuff.
  • Kim, Hui Young
    Mister Hand/ Sorry, I pasted the just above passage on yours by mistake. I hope it should be deleted...Have Fun!!!
  • Ray
    @ Kim, Hui Young - It just makes my head hurt, that's all.

    @ Mister Hand - While The Host is more streamlined than most of these types of films, it still contained a whole bunch of government conspiracy / family lunacy bullshit and not nearly enough monster.

    I absolutely agree that films like Davinci Code and National TReasure are convoluted crap. My point is that nearly every Asian fantasy/sci-fi/horror flick has 45 minutes of people talking about mystical mumbo-jumbo just to set up the freakin' story. My God, Final Fantasy: Spirits Within had so much Gaia bullshit that I thought I might pass out. Let's not even get started on the overly-complicated nonsense that supports junk like Ringu or films like this. It just goes on and on and on ...
  • 1) Nate, you only paid $7.50 for a movie? I wish.

    2) Yep. Worst. Movie. Ever. Although I'd argue that it enters into the oft-discussed, but rarely-realized realm of so-bad-that-it's-good. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Check out my review on my site if you're interested.

    http://www.greatwhitesnark.com/2007/09/16/geek-...

    3) Kim, explaining the legend will in no way salvage the film. Ever.
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