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A couple weeks back, I wrote a WTF article about how some Hindus are protesting The Love Guru. Apparently, the editorial did not fall on deaf ears. I can’t say whether Mike Myers, Paramount Pictures or Verne Troyer for that matter have seen the article. But apparently these Hindus have.

Ever since I wrote the story, I have found myself on an email splattercast courtesy of Rajan Zed, a self-proclaimed “prominent Indo-American leader.” Yes, while the Guru Pitka seems to be stalking our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller, I’m the target of this Indo-American media hound.

Paramount is pretty much ignoring everything the guy says, and with good reason. Apparently, in the beginning, they offered to show the film to Hindu leaders but haven’t yet because they’re waiting for a final print.

I know for a fact that the movie is final, not just because it is opening in a few days, but because they have already screened the movie in press. (As a strange aside, it seems that God is keeping me from seeing the movie, in that I was out of town for one potential screening, and then an annoying flight delay at O’Hare airport forced me to miss another one.)

It’s not like me to repeat topics so frequently in this column. After all, once I’ve said, “What the fuck,” what else is there to say.

But if you heard some of the things this whack-job is demanding from Paramount, you’ll say the same thing I did…

What the fuck?… again!

Zed has called for is a worldwide boycott of Viacom, the parent company of Paramount Pictures. This would include everything from television stations like CBS, Nickelodeon and BET (and anything advertised therein), theme parks like King’s Island, and other properties like the Neopets and the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.

Joining Zed in his campaign is Janjagruti Samiti, who has demanded that the MPAA toss out The Love Guru’s PG-13 rating and replace it with the dreaded NC-17. In a letter to the MPAA drafted by Samiti’s lawyer, he said, “it appears to be mocking and ridiculing Hinduism… Cinema is a powerful medium and it can create stereotypes in the minds of some audiences, especially in the minds of younger audiences, who are passing through an impressionable phase. We do not want our next generation to be growing up with a distorted view of Hinduism and Hindus.”

His final demand was this: “If the filmmaker wants a lower rating, they should pre-screen it for Rajan Zed, us and other Hindu leaders, edit the material objectionable (if any) to this group and re-submit the movie to you.”

And again… what the fuck? This guy should rent This Film Is Not Yet Rated for a much-needed reality check.

I’m not making this up. And to top things off, Samiti also sent his letter to NATO.

NATO??? Next, he’ll be calling the United Nations.

God (and any Hindu deities available) help us.

What do you think is more important than protesting The Love Guru?