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A recent poll by People Magazine has named Matt Damon the Sexiest Man Alive.

What the fuck?

Isn’t voting Matt Damon the sexiest man alive like voting David Schwimmer the sexiest man on television or Matthew Broderick the sexiest man on Broadway? These guys aren’t necessarily bad looking, but they’re not exactly the dish of the month.

Of course, the competition wasn’t exactly stiff (no pun intended). The list of ten is:

1. Matt Damon

2. Patrick Dempsey

3. Ryan Reynolds

4. Brad Pitt

5. James McAvoy

6. Johnny Depp

7. Dave Annable

8. Will Smith

9. Javier Bardem

10. Shemar Moore

Are they sure actual women voted on these guys? Or was it just publicists? I mean, I’ll buy Brad Pitt and Will Smith. But James McAvoy? What the fuck???

Let’s flip the gender and see how ridiculous this claim is. Matt Damon is a confirmed movie star, but he’s the male equivalent of Felicity Huffman. Not necessarily bad looking, but hardly the sexiest one alive.

When I saw this list, I had flashbacks to this week’s episode of “South Park”, in which the girls at school making a list of the cutest boys. Clyde won, beating out Kyle Broflovski by a landslide… but it was later found out the votes had been tampered with so the girls at South Park Elementary could date him in good conscience, giving them access to his father’s shoe store.

I’m not saying that Matt Damon’s dad owns a shoe store in a Colorado mall… but it just might be something Michael Moore could look into for his next movie.