The Ten Best Cinematic Showdowns of All-Time

Posted by Fat Guys at the Movies (fatguys@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 24, 2007

As Jason Statham and Jet Li go to war this weekend on American movie screens, the Fat Guys at the Movies have got to thinking about other great showdowns in movie history. Who were the best at kicking the crap out of each other? Here’s our thoughts, covering the movies during our lives (which starts in the early 1970s, folks).

This list was a featured discussion on Fat Guys at the Movies Episode 27. Check it out here.

Flame on!

10. Batman vs. Catwoman in Batman Returns

She had us at “Meow.” From the moment Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) stepped in front of Batman (Michael Keaton), we were hooked. Pfeiffer was sexy as hell in her black vinyl, and she did a better job at kicking Batman’s ass than the Joker.

9. Dumbledore vs. Valdemort in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

While this wasn’t the favorite Harry Potter film for either of the Fat Guys, we both loved the chance to finally see two wizards go ape-shit on each other.

8. Neo vs. Morpheus in The Matrix

Sure, this isn’t the climactic battle in the film, but it’s one of the coolest fight sequences in the movie. It was so cool that when us Fat Guys started talking about it, Neil Miller yelled “Stop trying to hit me and hit me!” And Kevin Carr tried to run up the wall and do a flip.

7. Lee vs. Han in Enter the Dragon

In fact, the whole film Enter the Dragon is replete with awesome showdowns. But nothing beats the hall of mirrors. Bruce Lee kicks ass.

6. Dirty Harry vs. The Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry

Of course, most of this showdown consists of Dirty Harry chasing the Scorpio Killer, but it ends with the awesome “Make my day, punk!” line. Who didn’t want to see this guy get whacked?

5. Martin Riggs vs. Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon

Before Gary Busey went completely insane, he played the calm and collected albino assassin Mr. Joshua. He and Riggs (Mel Gibson) had almost the same skills, but it was Riggs’ craziness that led him to beat the holy shale out of Mr. Joshua in the rain before Murtaugh to say the classic action film cliche line, “It’s not worth it!”

4. Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader in Star Wars: Episode V

The Empire Strikes Back, There was a minor debate at the Fat Guys’ camp as to which Luke vs. Darth scene should make the list. We chose the downer one, not just because it was fun to watch Mark Hamill get pummeled by Force-driven space junk, but it gave us the perfect set-up for a great wrap-up.

3. Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed in Rocky II

Like Luke vs. Darth, Rocky vs. Creed had two scenes to choose from. But while the first Rocky was more of a drama, the revenge of Rocky was more exciting. And he pulled it out by the skin of his teeth, which is always inspirational.

2. Ellen Ripley vs. Alien Queen in Aliens

It began when Ripley fried the egg field with a flame-thrower, and it ended with her beating the crap out of the queen bee with an industrial loader. We couldn’t forget the scene that gave us the great line, “Get away from her, you bitch!”

1. Yoda vs. Count Dooku in Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones

It was the fanboy orgasm heard ’round the world. We knew with a CGI Yoda that the little green guy would get his shot with a lightsaber, but it was still one of the greatest moments in the new trilogy. Yoda’s da man!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Luke vs. Darth Vader in Star Wars: Episode VI, Return of the Jedi, Although the Empire smackdown made our main list, we have to give props to Luke’s successful bid at bringing daddy-o back from the dark side.

Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed in Rocky, We loved it when Rocky won in the sequel, but it was still awesome to see him go the distance in the original film.

Optimus Prime vs. Megatron in The Transformers (1986), No, it’s not their battle from this summer’s blockbuster (because half of that took place off-screen while Megan Fox was trying to save Bumblebee). We’re talking about the ultra-cool animated showdown in which Optimus Prime goes to that great Chevy dealership in the sky.

Daniel Cleaver vs. Marc Darcy in Bridget Jones’s Diary, It’s not remembered with the fondness as Yoda and Dooku, but it’s probably the most realistic fight you’ll ever see in the movie. Hugh Grant and Colin Firth don’t land many punches, but there’s plenty of slapping, shirt pulling and falling on their asses.

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