Lists
The 10 Worst Video Game Movies in History
Posted by Danny Gallagher (danny@filmschoolrejects.com) on June 25, 2007
If the odds aren’t good for a movie based video games, the odds are even lower for a good video game based movie. We’ll be honest, you’ve got a better chance of getting struck by lightning in your homemade Mario costume while you’re getting it on with Angelina Jolie in her full Lara Croft outfit.
Why are video game movies doomed to suck? Video games have the potential to be just as good as a movie, both as a story telling and an entertainment device. The problem is these days, video game movies are made with one purpose in mind: feature length advertisements. Most, if not all, of the video game based movies that have come out so far have come out around the same time at the peak of their inspiration’s popularity, just enough to squeeze a few more dollars out of the spoiled gamers’ parents’ pockets before their fickle minds move on to the next retina destroying video game title.
So put down that Wii controller and pick up your DVD remote because here are The 10 Worst Video Game Movies in History.
10. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
You would think a movie starring a super hottie playing an even more super fictional super hottie would divert you from the fact that you’re watching a really horrible movie, but not even the Kleenex in Angelina Jolie’s bra could do it. For an actress of Jolie’s caliber, the acting was horrible, the story was totally unbelievable and the action sequences had barely any action in them. This movie could have easily been improved and would have been spared from our list if it only had a five second nude scene.
9. Bloodrayne (2006)
This movie has the same problem as “Tomb Raider.†It’s got boobs, blood and a big name cast, but no bite and that’s even sadder considering this is a vampire movie. It’s typical of an Uwe Boll movie. It’s got no story, no sense of structure and no sense. No surprise there, “Bloodrayne†isn’t even that big of a video game. I hate using this word to describe it because puns feel more beneath me than Jimmy Hoffa’s remains, but this movie really sucks.
8. Double Dragon (1994)
This video game flick is far from being the worst movie on our list, which should serve as a warning about the rest of the list from this point on, but “Double Dragon†is by far the most painful to watch. The fight scenes are boring, the acting is wooden and the story doesn’t even try to follow the original game that managed to make a cohesive story that was ten times better and only out of 8-bit technology. It creates more awkward and embarrassing moments than a fart during church.
7. Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
The first “Resident Evil†flick was bad, but it had some moments that barely saved it from total mediocrity. The sequel didn’t even come close to sub-standard. It’s a horror movie with no scares based on a game that could actually deliver some good scares even in its early days. It’s just a 120 minute shoot-em-up shouter that’s chocked full of blood and bullets but no brains. Thank God George Romero steered clear of this movie series and stuck with his own legion of zombies.
6. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
Here’s another sequel that doesn’t stand up to its sucky senior cousin. “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation†is bad on every level: story, script, dialogue, acting, special effects, music. But it’s particularly bad for one special reason: the directing. The original movie was directed by the notorious Paul W.S. Anderson, but even he didn’t want to have anything to do with this pile of cinema nor its subsequent future sequel, so he could go on to direct the sure to suck “Spy Hunter.â€
5. Alone in the Dark (2005)
This one’s a particular sharp thorn not just because it helped prolong Uwe Boll’s career, but it also ruined one of my all time favorite video game franchises. It’s just unbelievably bad. The story stinks. The performances, particularly Tara Reid’s attempt to act like a scientist, are unbelievable. The fact that it got so many greenlights on its way to the screen is unbelievable. Either Hollywood is run by total incompetents or corpses that are duct taped to office chairs.
4. House of the Dead (2003)
Our final pick from Uwe Boll’s library isn’t just one of the worst video game movies of all time or one of the worst horror movies of all time, but it’s also one of Boll’s worst movies and that’s the lowest compliment I can give it. It’s another video game movie that completely strays from the video game it’s based on and strays off completely by the time the final credits roll. It’s really bad, and not the good kind of bad.
3. Wing Commander (1999)
Here’s another game that completely destroys any good memories I ever had of its video game counterpart because of its sheer suckitude. It doesn’t try to stand out or act as an original space science-fiction movie and worst of all, it stars Freddie Prinze Jr. at a time in his career when he was looking for more range from the endless chain of unfunny teen romance movies. Unfortunately, he’s got as much range as a pea shooter.
2. Street Fighter (1994)
“Street Fighter†is bad for a number of reasons. There’s the script, the story, the acting, yada yada yada. Let’s get to the heart of the matter. It takes one of the most beloved video game franchises ever and gives its fans a roundhouse kick to the head. It stars Jean Claude Van Damme playing the American Guile with a French accent, which is just confusing. But most of all, it was the great Raul Julia’s last role in a major motion picture before his untimely death.
1. Super Mario Bros. (1993)
It hurts me to put this so high on the list because as a hardcore gamer from way back, a Super Mario Brothers movie was not only a sign of God, but also a sign that he actually listened to my prayers. I didn’t date much back then. But as I look back on this flick with a fresh pair of mature human eyes, I cringe. I feel dirty all over. It’s the first film ever based on a video game and it’s bad. It’s really bad. Bob Hoskins as Mario, Dennis Hopper as King Koopa and even John Leguizamo as Luigi do what they can with what little they have, but they are far from being enough to save this stinker. Everything about this thing just looks and feels forced and fake. I remember, even as a child, seeing the de-evolution guns and recognizing them as spray painted SNES Super Scopes. It’s also the one that started the video game movie craze. That reason alone deserves it to be the first one to stand up in front of our firing squad.
Danny Gallagher is a freelance writer, reporter and humorist living in Texas where Uwe Boll is a wanted fugitive.
Read more articles by Danny Gallagher
44 Comments
June 25th, 2007 at 10:56 am
I have to disagree with your number one pick. Every other film on the list, in my opinion, is bad in the worst way: dull and pointless. At least Super Mario Brothers was about 3/4’s batshit insane, making it far more interesting to watch than the rest of the sludge included. And look at the dudes with the tiny heads! That’s so ridiculously crazy, it’s almost half-cool.
Almost.
June 25th, 2007 at 11:24 am
I become a critic just to accept Uwe Boll’s fight challenges. Though I have to say I can defend Resident Evil: Apocalypse as mindless, enjoyable eye candy, Alone in the Dark as far better than it should be with more than decent action scenes and great creature design (even the effects are ok), House of the Dead as ok mindless action fare (except for the overuse of bullet time and actual game play edited into the movie), and Street Fighter if only for the fact that it has the line “I’m going to kick Bison so hard that the next Bison-wanna-be is gonna feel it!” Also, I can defend Super Mario brothers because as a child I liked it, despite it not being very much like the game and Dennis Hopper was a jello tyranosaurus.
All in all I feel like there are probably worse movies to replace these ones and Bloodrayne should be closer to the top.
June 25th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
The only one that made me really sad that I had actually paid to see it was House of the Dead. I saw it during finals in college as a mindless break from studying, and I very nearly walked out early to get back to studying.
June 25th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
I see no Doom…
… very wise indeed.
(This isnt sarcasm, I actually think that the Doom movie wasnt half bad.)
June 26th, 2007 at 12:10 am
I half expected to see Doom in first place due to some of the mixed reviews it recieved. Personally I think that it was pretty well done considering the VERY limited amount of time they were given to develop it.
June 26th, 2007 at 12:16 am
I liked the Mario Bros movie, but it was terrible…
June 26th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Although I agree with your list for the most part, your descriptions are almost as bland as the movies that your describing.
Please become more funny.
June 26th, 2007 at 12:44 am
seriously mario brothers was a great cinematic masterpeice the only bad part is the end because they left it for a sequel. and also it taught us marios last name MARIO MARIO and don’t forget lugi mario
June 26th, 2007 at 1:16 am
Another crappy critique by crappy guy who posted another crappy blog about top-10-worst-movie-games.
June 26th, 2007 at 1:49 am
I agree with the list, I thought Mario was a bit more “creative” then you described it to be but otherwise yes.
Dead or Alive was a joke about a game that’s based on…physics. Why isnt that on the list?
June 26th, 2007 at 2:21 am
I have to disagree with almost half of your choices. What should NOT be on your list: Tomb Raider, Super Mario Bros, Street Fighter, and Resident Evil. You obviously have no concept when it comes to the intricate details of entertainment. When it’s a video game based movie there is never a good plot or story. You accept it at it’s face value; a movie about a game that you really like. So get over yourself and start getting some better ideas to write about.
June 26th, 2007 at 2:27 am
Are you kidding?? No Doom?!
For God’s sake, this single quote puts the movie into a disgusting new category of it’s own:
I quoth, “… You donÂ’t shield a baby from time…”
June 26th, 2007 at 2:34 am
This would be solved if only the directors and producers would actually play the games their movies are to be based on.
June 26th, 2007 at 3:07 am
As others have said previously, where’s Doom?
Also “Alien vs Predator” should be on the list - so bad it’s laughable.
What about the DOA movie? it was so bad I couldn’t even watch it straight.
On the other hand, Tomb Raider wasn’t that bad. I didn’t care much from the games, but the movie was mildly entertaining.
Agree on Street Fighter, I was 13 when I saw it and I felt embarrassed.
June 26th, 2007 at 4:10 am
I totally agree on Movies like Mortal Combat, Super Mario Brothers, Double Dragon an so on. But in my eyes Resident Evil and Tomb Rider a great movies with great special effects
June 26th, 2007 at 4:36 am
omg, doom was a horribl movie!! that scene where it turns to first perspective looks like it was made by a highschool student.
June 26th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Super Mario was great, Jackass!
June 26th, 2007 at 11:47 am
This website blows, some of these movies kicked ass. By the way, there has only been like 10 video-game movies ya -ass
June 26th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Is it a problem that I like most of these movies…..also you are clearly lame…or maybe you dont smoke the herb wither one would explain this list of classic’s
June 26th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Actually, I Loved (and still do) Super Mario Bros.
I’m a very critical movie buff, but for some reason i just love that movie!
I think its because i watched so much as a kid. now in my 20s i still use lines from it.
It’s like this i guess, i can afford belgian waffles and French toast for breakfast every morning BUT i still love artificially flavored/colored Cap’n crunch.
June 26th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
“Also “Alien vs Predator†should be on the list - so bad it’s laughable.”
AvP was based on a comic genius. The game was also based on the comic.
June 26th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Tomb Raider doesn’t belong on this list. At the very least, that it is on the list and its boring as hell sequel is not is absolutely wrong. For the record, it gets my vote as best video game movie; that’s more a sad commentary on how well video games have dones as movies than a ringing endorsement, though.
June 27th, 2007 at 12:12 am
for gods sake, doom should be on there, but the worst game movie by far was silent hill.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Street Fighter should absolutely be #1 on this list. No question.
June 27th, 2007 at 9:23 am
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June 27th, 2007 at 9:35 am
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June 27th, 2007 at 11:12 am
I’m surprised Resident Evil 1 wasn’t the #1 spot… I mean that piece of trash had about 2% to do with the actual game. At least Mario Bros. got the characters right. RE1 had zombies and I’m guessing they stumbled upon the name “Umbrella” by accident. Paul Andersuck need to die in a fire.
June 27th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
I was also surprised Doom was not on the list. It wasn’t that bad but the acting was not stellar by any means and they went a totally different direction from the game. Let’s see…spawns of hell via the teleportation devices the uac was trying to create or a crazy virus that makes everyone crazy. The first person seen saved that entire movie in my opinion but it truly was a let down over all.
I’m waiting on a Half Life movie with a great director who wants to adhere literally to the story and with a cast of unknowns who have nothing to lose. That’ll be the day…
June 27th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Meh, I liked Wing Commander. I never played the game though. I also liked Tomb Raider. A girl kicking tail - what’s not to like?
If these deserved to be here then Doom definitely deserved to be at the top.
June 27th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
I only see one major problem with the list. Angelina Jolie is neither a super hottie or a good actress. She’s hideous to look at and her only ‘talent’ is in her chest.
The movies on the list ARE pretty bad but some of them are at least entertaining to watch. Their stupidity is what makes them ‘good’.
June 27th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
For God’s sake. Please stop trying to be funny. If you spent as long compiling your lists as you do trying to put jokes into them (want some advice on how to write lists? Ask everyone on the freakin’ Interweb) they might not be quite so dire.
Also, George Romero was fired from Resident Evil and the Super Scope placement was intentional cross-promotion, for what that’s worth.
June 28th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
I agree that BloodRayne should have been much, much higher on the list. Street Fighter was so bad that it was good in a campy way (”Quick! Change the channel!”), but at least it had a plot! BloodRayne was nothing but bad, bad, bad all the way through — no plot, no characterization, nothing but pointless gore.
June 29th, 2007 at 1:27 am
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June 29th, 2007 at 8:09 am
whether or not you agree with the top 10, this guys makes a good point.
How about a list of top 10 best video game movies. hmmmm…I’m going to struggle……..
June 30th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
I’m afraid that super mario bros is the best movie of all time. Simple mistake, though.
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Out of the 4 I’ve seen on that list, I only agree with one placement.
Resident Evil was a fairly horrible movie and deserved its spot or even higher because of that really bad sequel type ending. Then there was the monster who was still in love. That sealed it.
Bloodrayne has to be higher up because not only were the death effects overly exaggerated, but there was the death montage at the end. One scene included a completely emotionless man hacking at a skeleton that was gushing blood. That’s probably the best part of the movie if only for the laugh. The plot was really non-existant. By the time I caught up with what they were trying to do, it was the end of the movie. Every scene was disjointed. Acting wasn’t even attempted. It’s a pretty large insult to be considered lower than this movie.
Tomb Raider was a decent movie that I’ve seen a few times. The plot was actually about average for any movie and there were some memorable sections. I might actually watch it again now that you mention it. To even be rubbing elbows with Bloodrayne is a horrific misjudgement of the movie.
Super Mario Brothers definitely didn’t deserve to even be on this list. I’ve seen it twice and have since wanted to see it again. It may be a little crazy, but that’s what makes it good. I was actually disappointed not to see a sequel. I think that it’s the best video game movie that I’ve seen. The evolution gun being a SNES superscope was probably done on purpose. There is actually a site that goes through all the best parts of the movie and it is worth reading.
Doom wasn’t horrible, but it could have made the list. The plot went too fast and glossed over some things. I’m sure there are some others that would have made it too if there are many more video game movies. You probably should have put more thought into making this list. In conclusion, Mario rocks.
July 25th, 2007 at 1:03 am
I am one of the biggest Tomb Raider fans in history, and I can say, with all confidence, that both of the Tomb Raider movies deserve be on there, and much closer to the top. The Resident Evil movies felt more like zombie rave parties than movies based on the game, with their horrible techno soundtracks . And the Alice character (whom i hate) is a little to “kick-ass” for my taste. But all the others are about right.
August 18th, 2007 at 9:19 am
you sound nothing more than like a whinin child to me..
September 21st, 2007 at 3:37 am
Hm. After throughly running through everything, comments etc. I agree with some points, and disagree with others. Tomb Raider should not be on this list, neither should Resident Evil or Super Mario Bros. I’m not a big crazed gamer with any of these titles, but the movies were cool for what they were. Tomb Raider gets a bad rap. Personally, I’m not a big Jolie fan, but she did try to do it justice. Resident Evil was awesome. I was thrilled to see my fav game brought to the big screen. Whether or not it actually followed the game line was pointless. Some people are sticklers for history. And Super Mario Bros. What can I say, I was young. And those things have little heads! lol
September 29th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
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December 9th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
FOREVER #1 WORST VIDEO GAME TO MOVIE FILM:
rESIDENT eVIL
April 26th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Me like Street Fighter, but yes, it definitely deserves to be on this list. It’s bad, very bad, but better then Robocop 3 or Atomic Twister. SO yeah, that isnt saying much, but it is a movie I like.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:17 am
@eggofromkiwi
WTF man, silent hill as number 1? have you even played the games? imo it is one of the best game-movies ever.
As for the top 10, i too think Bloodrayne should be a bit more towards the top, i mean it had hellraiser effects in a 2006 movie, Hellraiser is 80ies and still better…
Resident Evil however was OK. As with all game-movies, do not expect original story. only FX :P