Commentary Track
Indiana Jones 4: 10 Things I Hated, 5 Things I Liked
Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on May 26, 2008
There is a fair bit of dissension about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, with a lot of people enjoying the ride and a lesser, but still vocal portion, not enjoying it. Currently I toss my fedora in the pile of people who weren’t exactly pleased with the movie, though I hope it grows on me over time. That being said, as I left the theater, I knew I had more problems with it than pleasantries, and decided to share just a few of them with you below.
Be warned, if you haven’t seen the film, Here there be Spoilers, arrrggghhhh.
Ten Things I Hated:
10. Indiana’s Age - Now this may be a low blow, but going into the film I didn’t think I’d have a problem with how old he was, and I might not have, if he still wasn’t capable of leaping, bounding, and swinging over rafters like a 25 year old. Ironic that we have the oldest Indy yet be perhaps the most athletic.
9. Lack of Tension - Was it just me or did the film lack any real sense of tension and danger? The action came off much sillier than in past installments.
8. Karen Allen - Sorry Karen. I know I’m not the only one who didn’t care whether or not she came back. All she really did for the last 40 minutes was smile goofily.
7. Unbelievable - Now I know this is an Indy flick and there have been some amazing things happen, but the crap that goes on here. I’m referring mostly to the Duck (amphibious craft) that goes driving off the edge of a cliff, lands in a tree straight out of Looney Tunes, which gently sets them into the water before swatting down some Communists. They then survive without harm, three ever increasing waterfalls.
6. The Death of Henry Jones, Sr. - Just because Sean Connery didn’t want to be in your movie didn’t mean you had to kill him. I felt this was cheap. Denholm Elliot, the actor who played Marcus Brody, died in 1992, so I’m ok with his off-screen character death.
5. Shia LeBeouf’s Haircut - It looked like it had a butt in the back. I know he’s a greaser, but could he be any more of a stereotype? I suggest to you no, he couldn’t.
4. Monkey See, Monkey Do - Was this The Mummy Returns 4 that no one told me about? Seriously, LeBeouf swings from vines with an army of digital monkeys that have his same haircut. They then, en force, attack a communist babe. For crying out loud!
3. The Wedding - Number one, I don’t buy that our charming, masculine Indy, who clearly had more relationships, was so enthralled with Marion. Second, I don’t want Indy married, that is boring. This scene, while not glaringly wrong or anything, just didn’t sit well with me or fit.
2. No Connection - There was a tenuous connection at best to some of the previous themes of the movie. Indy barely used his whip. Maybe on four or five occasions and they were relatively uneventful. There was no great snake scene. The one snake scene they had was pretty laughable. It was intended to be funny, of course, but to me it was borderline insulting. In a jungle full of fines and trees (see 4), that greaser LeBeouf can’t find a damn tree branch or vine, but he finds a gigantic harmless snake? And how does he know about gigantic harmless Amazon snakes - he dropped out of school.
1. CGI - I could write ten pages on this, but I’ll be damned if right off the bat, the first scene, full of CGI, didn’t put me in a bad mood. CGI prairie dogs, at least 3 separate shots of them. WTF? CGI whips. CGI scorpions. CGI ants. CGI landscapes. CGI alien things. CGI collapsing pyramids. CGI rearranging pyramids. The original movies had tons of practical effects and looked great. Real stunts, real bugs, real locations, and I loved every damn one of them. The CGI in this film was over the top and distracting. Hated it! And while I’m on the subject - those CGI ants? Ten billion ants that can climb, move at 30 miles per hour, and kill a man nearly instantly. WTF? The originals were at least somewhat grounded by reality.
5 Things I Liked
5. The Originals - I was happy to see the fedora, the whip, and hear the theme. Glad none of that was unnecessarily changed. And the whip was only CGI once or twice.
4. Mac - I thought Ray Winstone did a good job in the film. I liked his and Indy’s initial banter and while later on he became your stock “I’m greedy so I must die” character, he was fun most of the time.
3. The Shadows - Spielberg did get a little nostalgic with the use of shadows. They reminded me of the original trilogy. There were about three ’shadow shots,’ one at the beginning when he puts on the hat, and most notably later after staring into the crystal skull, then again in the pyramid. The last two felt close together and too similar, but overall glad they were there.
2. Soviets Instead of Nazis - Nice to see Indy in a new time period with a new enemy. You can only battle Nazis for so long, so I’m glad to see Indy’s patriotism lasted well into the Cold War.
1. Seeing Indiana Jones on the Big Screen - As a relative youngster, I never had a chance to see Indy on the big screen. I liked seeing him up there and hearing the theme song. Now, I wasn’t enthralled with the movie, but there was something about just seeing it up there that pleased me.
Honorable Mentions
The Crystal Skull - I was ok with the alien angle and Area 51 and stuff. I think it wasn’t handled all that amazingly, but I was on board. Though when you start talking about aliens developing the Earth and temples that re-arrange themselves, you’re taking too many cues from Alien vs Predator.
The Jungle Chase - While it lacked some tension, had too many silly jokes (LeBeouf’s nuts being pummeled), too much CGI, and those damned ants, overall the 15 or 20 minute jungle chase was pretty cool. A lot of time and effort went into planning that, and I really liked seeing it. Probably would have made the list if they had actually done more of it outside, rather than CG-ing it in.
Conclusions
This Indiana installment, as of now, I classify as a let-down. There was a lot of bad but some good. I hope that on a second viewing I can get past some of these problems, but who knows. I’d be interested in hearing what everyone else thinks. And despite all the things wrong and my Boiling Point on leaving them alone, secretly, if they could do it right and make it amazing again, I would want a sequel. But they won’t. So leave it be. Sad face.
Sound Off: What were your favorite and most hated parts of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
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17 Comments
May 26th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
The Jungle Chase leads me to believe that there will be no more Henry Jones Jr.’s :-)
May 26th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
lets just say, Indy is dead, Lucas is a hack and Speilberg needs to learn when to say no. I cant fault Harrison, if he hadn’t said yes to it then Lucas would have found some other was around it. CGI Indy anyone? It was a decent film, but did not leave you with any of the WOW factor at the end that the others did. Yes even Temple of Doom had a WOW factor. Lucas has once again stolen our childhood memories and filled them with batha podo.
May 26th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
“batha podo”? I guess everyone’s not as geeky as I am. :-)
May 26th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
I 100% agree with everything!
May 26th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Though Indy 4 was very much a let down, I think it had its redeeming qualities. They didn’t botch it too bad, and personally I would rather have seen this mediocre Indy film, than to never see Indy on screen ever again.
And come on kheas. Don’t bad mouth Lucas. He may have drifted off, as he did with Star Wars Episodes I, II, and, III, but without him you wouldn’t have had any of those childhood memories in the first place. He is most definitely not a hack, he just isn’t willing to let go.
May 26th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Great list!
Check out why Shia LaBeouf should never replace Harrison Ford as INDY:
http://www.derober.com/2008/05/22/7-reasons-why-shia-labeouf-cant-fill-indiana-jones-shoes/
May 27th, 2008 at 6:21 am
Overall this will wasnt great. Some fun moments, the school issue was good. This film is clearly a set up for future Indy films with a new lead and I dont like that. I also didnt like the ending to the film. All that stupid alien craft CGI has no place in an Indiana Jones movie, it was pretty much lifted straight from the first X Files movie.
Started slowly, good in the middle but fell of the tracks and went all wrong at the end. Its as though they ran out of ideas and Spielberg just said “lets throw in aliens, that can explain away anything”.
The acting performances were good, I didnt feel anyone was out of place but John Hurt looked like he was coasting with a role that had him looking dazed and confused most of the time, easy money I suppose.
6/10 - Fun for a while but probably not what you were hoping for.
May 27th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I find it amazing how many people did not like this movie. I though it was great! I went in expecting to be dissapointed, maybe thats why I liked it so much. There was some unbelieveable parts in this movie, this is true, but this is no different than many seens in other movies. For example; falling out of an airplain in a rubber raft, then going over a waterfall much larger than the 3 falls in this flick. I liked it.
May 27th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Definitely a let down. It’s like the film pandered to the Indiana Jones iconography. I saw a movie that had Indiana Jones in it but was not an Indiana Jones film. I blame David Koepp’s bad script and George Lucas for approving it. “Hey, we’ve had scripts submitted from Academy Award nominees Frank Darabont and M. Night Shyamalan. Let’s go with the guy who wrote Snake Eyes and Secret Window.”
May 27th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
This is freakin hilarious…Actually MORE entertaining than the movie.
http://www.maxim.com/Maximcom-and-the-Indiana-Jones-Branded-Foodstuffs/Maxim-Stuff/blogs/599/25672.aspx
May 31st, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I wasn’t impressed with the movie, but I didn’t hate it either. It was fun and like you, it was my first time seeing Indy on the big screen.
The CGI was bad, but it wasn’t the main problem I had with the movie.
I was okay with the alien thing…until they went stereotypical alien on me. I had no problem with the plot being about aliens, but do it in a way that isn’t so cliche. I don’t need to actually see a dead, Roswell alien. I don’t need to see a typical, massive sized alien head crystal skull and I certainly don’t need to see a live alien fly away in a UFO at the end. They could have put it together much better. Tell the story about the Mayans believing in that kind of stuff, because history tells us they actually did, but do it differently. Don’t show us the aliens and don’t throw them in our face. Did we see God in the Last Crusade? No, we’re just left to believe there is a God because Indy found the Grail.
That’s all I have for now.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:02 am
The one thing that bothered me the most was that in one scene Indiana Jones is sitting at his desk, looking at a picture of his dad, Henry Jones Sr. (Sean Connery), saying something about how much he misses him.
WTF? He DIED????!?!?!
What happened to him drinking the water from the Holy Grail in the Last Crusade? One could argue “Well, perhaps they realized that it was just a bunk myth and the holy grail was just an archaeological find rather than finding the epitome of eternal life.” Ok, maybe that’s true. But they SAW the healing/magical power of the grail as they encountered a 500 year old knight, and more personally, saw the holy water wash away Henry Jones Sr’s bullet wound.
Can someone PLLLLLLEAASSEE help me out with this???
June 5th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
My responses to your comments:
10. Indiana’s Age - Indy’s not quite as old as Harrison is. It’s not unbelievable that he would stay in shape. Sure, he’d probably be a bit worse for wear after all that happened to him, but that’s where willing suspension of disbelief comes in. This is an homage to “B” movies and serials, after all, where the hero always comes out unscathed.
9. Lack of Tension - It was just you. Seriously, in the “B” movies, you didn’t have to worry about the good guys.
8. Karen Allen - I was never a big Marion fan. She was okay in “Raiders” but she was a little on the coarse side, and I never felt that she was the only girl for Indy. I was not impressed with her in “Crystal Skull” either.
7. Unbelievable - Going back to the serials, remember, they used to end the chapter with a guy very clearly falling out of and away from a plane and then in the next chapter, he’d managed to grab hold of some part of the aircraft and haul himself back in. I think those cliffs and waterfalls looked a lot higher than they really were. It’s for dramatic effect. I felt the same way about the airplane/raft/cliff/river sequence in “Temple of Doom.”
6. The Death of Henry Jones, Sr. - It’s not unbelievable that someone in his 70s in 1957 would have passed away. Heck, my dad died last year at age 72. There’s no point in keeping him alive, since he isn’t interested in appearing in any future films (not that there’s likely to be any).
5. Shia LeBeouf’s Haircut - I thought his hair was a little too bouffy. And didn’t greasers use, well, grease?
4. Monkey See, Monkey Do - The main problem I had was that the digital swinging looked so awful. It didn’t look like he was really hanging onto anything or using his weight to swing. I wish Mutt would’ve made a connection with one of the monkeys — given him a cracker out of his pocket or something — to explain why the monkeys attacked the bad guys and not him.
3. The Wedding - I didn’t mind the wedding, and I don’t even care that he married Marion. First of all, he’s an old school guy and he’s going to marry the mother of his child, even if the kid is 20 years old. A lot of people get married to people that they argue with all the time. Indy and Marion obviously had a connection when she was 16 or whatever, and he’s always been in love with her.
2. No Connection - I haven’t counted the number of times Indy used his whip in the other films vs. the number of times he used it in this one. It didn’t bother me. The one snake scene in “Temple of Doom” (”That’s why they call it the jungle, sweetheart.”) was brief and played to comic effect. Did they have any snakes in “Last Crusade?” I’ve seen it the fewest amount of times, but I don’t remember anything but the rats. Mutt knows about gigantic harmless snakes because he watched Tarzan movies, which also taught him to swing on vines.
1. CGI - The original films had their share of bad effects and obvious matte paintings. ILM’s CGI almost always sucks (”Jurassic Park” being the one exception). What really bugs me is that so many people are trashing this movie because of bad CGI, while stuff like “Spider-Man,” which is filled with awful CGI shots of our hero, gets praised for being so brilliant. Almost no one does a film without CGI now. It’s a shame, because a lot of model-builders and set-builders are out of work now. I would love to see films made the way they were in the 1980s, but someone (the “wizards” at ILM” come to mind) managed to convince people that CGI is cheaper and faster and looks just as good. BTW, in “Temple of Doom” a lot of the bugs, and at least one shot of Willie’s head, were very obviously fake. I’ve heard insects are bigger in South America, and I know that getting stung by enough little tiny fire ants can kill you. Also, larger-than-normal insects are a staple of the 1950s “B” movies that inspired much of “Crystal Skull.”
5 Things I Liked
I agree on everything, except on number 1, I have to point out that I did see all the other films in the theatre, and I was really skeptical when they announced plans for a fourth one. I really hoped the idea would die. Now I’m glad that it didn’t.
Honorable Mentions
The Crystal Skull - I was okay with the storyline. They brought up the real crystal skulls but never said anything more about them — the difference in shape, etc. I didn’t care for them being interdimensional creatures. If you’re doing a ’50s “B” movie, really they ought to be from outer space.
The Jungle Chase - The thing with Mutt and the little trees or whatever kind of annoyed me, too. Might’ve been okay once, but it lost the effect when they kept hitting the trees.
Bottom line — I’m fine with the film as it is. Sure, it could’ve been a little better, but it also could have been a lot worse. I think it’s a worthy addition to the series that’s getting way too much flack from people who think it’s chic to hate George Lucas.
June 5th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
And Jim — I think God every day they didn’t get a script from M. Night Shamalyan. Then it would have just been boring. Long shots of nothing happening in the jungle, extended shots of people staring. And 25 seconds of action, so they could use it in the trailer.
June 9th, 2008 at 5:42 am
I agree with everything you said, and you’re actually being too kind to this film. Any film student who thinks this is a good film, should be killed before they are allowed to make a movie. I couldn’t agree more regarding the over-use of CGI.
I would rate this film as being just as enjoyable as the Tomb Raider films or the Second Charlie’s Angels movie. Each of those films left me with a terrible headache. I felt like a witness to a train wreck!
Whatever happened to the script with Indy’s brother (supposedly played by Tom Selleck or Kevin Costner)?
As Dr. SMith from Lost In Space always said…. “oohh the pain, the PAIN”.
Indiana Jane
August 20th, 2008 at 1:34 am
“4. Monkey See, Monkey Do - The main problem I had was that the digital swinging looked so awful. It didn’t look like he was really hanging onto anything or using his weight to swing. I wish Mutt would’ve made a connection with one of the monkeys — given him a cracker out of his pocket or something — to explain why the monkeys attacked the bad guys and not him. ”
Heres how it would go, here monkey have a cracker and in return do me a favor,
help me find that commie babe, and as soon as you see her start atacking.
Even though I see your scene more believable, then again why monkeys and why swinging.
September 5th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
As sell-out comebacks go this was an enjoyable one. This whole criticism people make about unbelievable story lines I find baffling. First film: They find the arc of the covenant; Second film: they fight an evil cult hiding in a cave who stole a stone which gives a village its lifeline; third film Indy goes in search of the Holy grail and finds an original Knight of the Templar. Then in the fourth the relationship between the Ancient South Americans and alien species (which IS A GENUINE HISTORICAL CONSPIRCAY THEORY) is too much for them. People are far too critical of films now, even their favourites, why cant you just sit down and enjot it as pure entertainment. I loved it!