Opinions
In Which an Adult Male Reads Twilight…
Posted by Cole Abaius (cole.abaius@filmschoolrejects.com) on May 12, 2008
With the criticism that “Twilight” is a massive social phenomenon meant only for tweenage girls, I, an adult, unmarried male in my mid-twenties with no children, have bravely decided to take on the challenge of reading what might well be a massive cash cow at the box office come December.
I’ve taken the advice given to us from our very own Twilight Talk Backers, except for one key piece. I didn’t buy all the books at once. Why not? Because I’m poor, and Kaiser-in-Chief Neil Miller said he wouldn’t reimburse me for the purchase even though he said he was going to deduct it from his taxes. He also wouldn’t pay me for the personal chef and bather I hired to take care of my human needs while reading the tome uninterrupted.
Despite this set back, I dove right in as soon as I got home, and I have to admit, I liked it. I more than liked it. I like liked it.
Stephenie Meyer has created some strong, rounded characters to inhabit her world. She’s also woven in a new sort of vampire myth that changes a lot of the classic rules in ways that make a lot of sense. She abandons the coffins and cobwebs for stunning beauty and agility. Besides, the main aspect of the myth is the blood-sucking, and there’s plenty of that to go around.
Bella moves to what might be the smallest town in Washington all the way from sun-drenched Arizona. She’s miserable, dealing with things a bit beyond her maturity level, but she makes some friends and assumes a normal, boring high school career is ahead of her. All this, until the mysterious Edward saves her from being crushed in a parking lot car accident. The two are desperately in love from the start, but struggle with forbidden, star-crossed romance since Edward’s nature (did I mention he’s a vampire?) will forever mean danger for Bella.
I’m man enough to say that I can connect with the tribulations of a teenage girl - being in a new place, worrying about fitting in, fearing that the person you’re dating will rip your throat out. These are all common problems that everyone has to deal with on a daily basis. But, having a Y-chromosome did lend me to connect more with Edward. It makes sense. We both share Adonis-like good looks, mind-numbing speed and awesome parallel parking skills, so it was easy to root for his character. And who doesn’t want to be a vampire? You could take down a bear. That’s as manly as it gets.
The story itself flies by. It’s easy to look up and realize you’ve tackled 150 pages without realizing it. Meyer is a good storyteller, and, although she leaves in some pedestrian details, she’s got a great way of writing suspense and action that’s not afraid to put Bella in harm’s way and is comfortable leaving blood on the floor.
I only had a few problems. I can understand now that a woman will never grow tired of hearing that you’ll love her for eternity, but the part of me that wants to see The Macho Man Randy Savage wrestle a monster truck got a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of romance. Not that it’s cliche or cheesy in any way - Meyer gracefully avoided groan-worthy dialog - but the book focuses on Edward and Bella, so the pages are soaking, dripping wet with young love. Plus, it would have been nice to see some other characters around. Even when Meyer puts the two in a situation to interact with a group, she creates an excuse for them to be alone to talk more about what being a vampire means and how much they care for each other and that they really shouldn’t be doing this but they are because they can’t help themselves.
We’ve all been there, though, right? Like Danny and Sandy from Grease if John Travolta could have cracked open Olivia Newton-John’s neck and drained her life force at the drop of a drag-racing scarf. I know I’ve been there, and if that isn’t a stellar concept for Grease 3, I’m not sure there is one.
Digressions aside, “Twilight” makes up for the sweetness with action scenes. Mostly it’s Edward swooping in to save Bella, talk of hunting wild animals and a climactic vampire-attack that’s really solid. Over all, even as I ate atomic-spicy buffalo chicken wings and slammed cans against my forehead to keep my manliness intact - Twilight was a winner for me.
I’m not obsessed - although I do find it fitting that a book about vampires has the ability to transform human beings into rabid, mouth-foaming fans. But it really is a great book that will make a great movie.
Of course, “Twilight” is going to have an interesting transition to the screen. The book is filled with a lot of internal thoughts and feelings that won’t make it into a screenplay. You can’t show it on screen if someone isn’t saying or doing it. There’s probably enough meat to create an hour and a half flick without leaving anything out. Although it doesn’t create a brand new fantasy world like some other book-sensations-turned-movies (it’s essentially “Rainy Washington - now with vampires!”), that works to its advantage budget-wise, and Twilight should have no problem pulling in cross-over audiences. It’s a love story, a vampire story, and a film that can draw in mothers and teenage daughters with ease. Not to mention the ecstatic fans who will be fighting their own natural urges to claw at the screen when Edward shows up on screen.
I’ll admit that I bought a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo Magazine’ and the DVD of Bloodsport when I picked up “Twilight”, and that I was glad to read it indoors away from the judgmental eyes of the public, but once I dug into it, I really enjoyed it. I think it’s going to translate well to the big screen. If done correctly, Twilight could easily bring a mass of critical and commercial success and might even knock Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince away from its inevitable top spot come December.
And it’s going to do all of that while converting guys into fans as well.
As a bonus, I’m including these tips for guys reading “Twilight”:
1. Drink a protein shake and do curls while reading.
2. Read the book in your 1967 Ford Mustang.
3. Have American Gladiators on in the background for when the pizza guy gets there.
4. Every time Edward tells Bella how great she smells, break a board with your fist.
5. Not taking shower breaks will work to your manly advantage.
6. Don’t write an article publicly claiming how much you enjoyed the book.
7. If the emotions well up, call Chuck Norris and insult his mother.
8. Attempt to eat a 36 oz. steak before finishing chapter four.
9. Read it while participating in a rodeo.
10. Test your manliness by growing a beard by chapter thirteen.
Read more articles by Cole Abaius
61 Comments
May 12th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Finally it’s published! Great article, very nice take on it :D Now run and hide, because you’re going to be adored by many many fans for standing up for the male fan base
May 12th, 2008 at 9:04 am
This has got to be the funniest thing I have read in about Twilight! Thank you for that. And thank you for taking the time to read the book. It is refreshing to see a journalist take his work seriously. As a fan of Twilight that falls considerably outside of its YA demographic, I agree that after reading Twilight for the first time I was bogged down in some of the syrupy dialog and dare I say I thought Bella was rather whiney, until I thought back to being 17 myself and realised she was being a typical teenager in so many ways. I do hope you go on to read New Moon and Eclipse as you really need to look at the saga as a whole to realize the brilliance of Stephenie Meyers writing. At TwilightMos.com there are entire threads devoted to what readers missed the first time through the books and another addressing the intricasies and foreshadowing that Ms. Meyers ‘hides’ within the text of her books. Now, don’t go and peek tho’…read the other books first! Again, thank you so much for this wonderful article! I can see your tip list making it to Letterman! Keep up the good work!
May 12th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Cole, loved your article! It was great to get the “guys” perspective in a creative and thoughtful way. You crack me up when you mentioned having to buy the “Guns and Ammo/ Bloodsport DVD” whilst buying Twilight book. And your Top 10 list was hilarious. TwilightMOMS would like to party with you! Come visit us and we can exchange some witty banter.
May 12th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Well done Cole! Make sure Josh Radde sees this article … as he turned down my fiance’s patronage to lend him the book!
May 12th, 2008 at 10:09 am
I did not turn it down. I’m still going to read it, but it was Mother’s Day and mom wanted to take a gander at it first.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I laughed so hard at the end of this article that my roommate thought I was having some sort of attack. Great article! I can’t wait for the movie come December, although I will say that I absolutely loathed the trailer–Rob looked like he was either crazy or demented in every single shot.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Excellent!! I love how men need to “make up” for reading Twilight, LOL!!! Men liking Twilight seems to be the kind of thing that (unless you’re in journalism of any sort) most would only share with their wives and have their wives promise to tell only their closest of friends (because you know we have to tell someone how great our guy is!). Of course, if their wife is a Twilight freak, about 5,000 people will know within minutes of you telling her :) Thanks for the blog/article. Humor (especially man-humor about Twilight) is one of my favorite things!!
May 12th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Thanks for keeping an open mind and reading what is there. According to screen writer Melissa Rosenberg and director Catherine Hardwicke they have not strayed far from the original storyline save for the obvious things that happen when you go from book to screen.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Hi Cole, I found you a kindred soul: TwilightGuy.com
Here’s the url: http://www.twilightguy.com/2008/05/12/twilightguys-report-he-got-caught-reading-twilight/
May 12th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
BRAVO…absolutely loved this article! I’m emailing it to my husband…thank you;)
May 12th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Wonderful article! I have one more “top ten.” Take notes from Edward and women will fawn all over you!
May 12th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I am definitely pleased to see that the Y-chromosome has not deterred you from reading and enjoying the first book! I must say that this article is, by a long shot, the funniest one I’ve read pertaining to Twilight! It was truly entertaining to read and I would guess that your tips may help the reluctant male reader (and the closeted ones) to feel better about themselves! Kudos!
May 12th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Well done Cole! Damn entertaining and smartly written! I admit I tried reading Twilight while standing in the book aisle of Target, and it didn’t quite work for me. My girlfriend plans to read it on our upcoming vacation though, so maybe when she’s done I’ll give it another try. Seems a little big for a beach read, but we’ll see…
May 12th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
YOU GOT ME WITH THIS: “even as I ate atomic-spicy buffalo chicken wings and slammed cans against my forehead to keep my manliness intact - Twilight was a winner for me” LOL!!!!
That was soooo funny!!! i LOVED your article!!! you should write something together with twilightguy.com cuz he´s really funny too…
and i have to agree with NINA: tell the guys to TAKE NOTE FROM EDWARD!!!
i have to ask: Will you read book 2 and 3?? can´t wait to read your opinion with those! it´s a MUST!!!
May 12th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Definitely a humourous outlook from a man’s perspective! My friend and I laughed really
hard at your Tips for Guys, and I hope you continue to read the rest of the series. Great
article!
May 12th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
My husband and his friends make fun of me to no end about my obsession with the Twilight Series. I was so happy to read your article and get a guys perpective on the book. I have emailed my husband the article and informed him that there are Chuck Noris references to reel him in. Thanks again for the supportive article, I just hope if you read the other books your don’t have the “New Moon Break down” that has totally convinced my husband I am insane.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Well good for you, I made my Hubby read it. I asked him to read at least three chapters a day. Yet he sat down and started reading and read 10 chapters in one sitting..why… because he liked it!! mwahahaha.. I knew he would. After making fun of me for my Harry Potter obsession.. and refusing to even crack one of those books.. I wasn’t about to take the torment over this series unless he actually read the books first.
I am glad there is a male who writes articles who has actually decided to read it then speak. I would have been happy even if you didn’t like it. at least you would have had something to go on:)
Welcome to the darkside my friend. Twilight rocks!
May 12th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Damnit. The Twilighters are here now too!?
May 12th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Way to go Cole! Still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes…Do read New Moon and Eclipse as the series just gets better and better. I suspect you have more company than you know as I have a few men friends who are currently reading it. So far they all like it and some even love it though, none are obsessed like I am. Anyway, keep up the good work!
May 12th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I am so happy to see an article from a guy that has actually read the book. I really enjoyed
this. I even emailed to my husband who I have been trying to convince to read the books.
Thanks for taking the time to read the book, then give your views. And I enjoyed your
views. They were very open-minded. And my favorite part was the list at the end!
May 12th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I applaud you for trying to read Twilight. That’s a very “manly” thing to do. xD
And although I’m 20 and a girl, I do know great cars and if a guy does have a 1967 Ford Mustang and happens to read Twilight, I am marrying him right away.
May 12th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Okay, Cole,
That was hysterical. I actually had to send this article to my husband at work. He has sat in the room for many sessions of me reading these books to my two youngest kids (My oldest son read them too!), but has never read them himself. (That isn’t new, he reads the scriptures and the newspaper and that’s it) You are a very funny writer and it was a joy to read your view. Thanks!
May 12th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Rebekah
That man’s name is Neil Miller and you can tell him how grand a wife you’d make him by emailing neil@filmschoolrejects.com.
Be sure to incorporate pictures.
May 12th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
a wife you’d make FOR him — not a wife you’d make OF him (that would involve a pretty hefty lifestyle change).
May 12th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
:-) Great article and I love hearing you enjoyed Twilight. What a good attitude you have … wish I could get my husband in the same frame of mind!! ha ha. Keep reading!! You’ll miss out if you don’t read New Moon & Eclipse!!
May 12th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Josh -
Um. I’ll have to think about it. xD
But what color is that Mustang? ;)
May 12th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
aha funniest article i have ever read… ur awesome i like u for having the guts to read
Twilight and have it publish ^-^
there shuld b more guys like u … it just shows ur not insecure abt ur man-liness =)
May 12th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Thanks so much for actually reading the book and telling us (quite humorously) that you liked it. My husband and my oldest son (18) read all three and liked them as well. I’ll probably even have to let them go with me when I see the movie because both of them have seen the trailer and said it looked cool. Now, go get the other two books and let us know what you think.
May 12th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I’ve already done all 10 things on that list and that was before I even heard of this book.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Oh my goodness… Great article! It’s nice to see guys reading the series.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Very funny write up! I love your sense of humor and your courage. My husband won’t read Twilight, but that is fine with me. It is my own little world anyway. I am going to leave this article for him to check out. I know he will get a laugh from it.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
You are not alone I have official gotten 3 of my guy friends (all in college) to read them and each and everyone one of them has admitt they enjoyed them! The fact that you can admitt to the world wide web you like them makes you a man in my book!
May 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
That was a really well writen article of twilight from a guy’s pov. I’m glad that you took time to read it. I notice that you mention that you felt that twilight was to centered on the Edward and Bella and not much on the others. Well if you read New Moon and especially Eclipse you learn much about the other characters and there awesome backgrounds. Probably you will end up like me being an expert in Vampire Wars in Mexico and during the Civil War yet nearly failing 11th grade American History..pssh who wants to learn about boring human history anyways?
May 12th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
HAHAHAHA! you are full of win! that was one of the best articles i’ve ever read - not only because its twilight, and because you’re a guy - but everything you say is just classic! i love that you can like the book whilst still being manly =p if it takes 36 oz on steak, a lack of hygiene or several broken (plywood) boards, go ahead- be a ‘man’ .. but regardless your a better one from reading twilight.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Yeah Cole!!
Are you ready for the love?? You won’t be single for long, and women will love you for digging Edward. Why? Because that’s what we all want in a man…and if he glitters in the sun, all the better!! So glad you liked the book! Trust me when I say, NEW MOON will floor you and ECLIPSE will keep you beggin’ for more! Just like the rest of us crazed, rabid fans! Thanks for giving it a shot! And Josh, try again. By chapter 3, you’re hooked!
May 13th, 2008 at 12:13 am
Twilight Guy i think you are AWESOME!!!!! you are so manly.lol. your witt is hilarious and you are extremely funny. keep on writing. you’ll make it to the big time!!! can’t wait to read more!!!!!
May 13th, 2008 at 12:13 am
I don’t think that I have read a funnier article about Twilight. I think your words of wisdom,
may just have convinced my husband to read at least Twilight, if no the rest, but he will
probably have to watch American Gladiators and grow that beard! Thanks for making my
night!
May 13th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Amazing XD I am ecstatic to see a manly man such as yourself read “Twilight” and like it. I givee you ten thumbs up for this article because it is funny and also a great way for the Y-Chromosome to look at the books. Keep writting, man. =]
May 13th, 2008 at 1:17 am
Bravo!
Now you should tackle Stardust. ;) Though Neil Gaiman probably isn’t much of a challenge on the “manly” scale.
May 13th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Hahaha. I think this is a great piece (satirical or not) about a guy reading Twilight. Most guys will be surprised throughly that Twilight is a good book, filled with action, suspense, drama, thrills and the occasional Bella “attacking” Edward scenes.
(If you don’t know what I meant, reread chapter thirteen.)
Overall, good writing and just plain funny. I’ll send this to my guy friend (who remains nameless) who enjoyed the books, too. :)
May 13th, 2008 at 8:10 am
I really enjoyed your article! Absolutely hilarious, of course. I do know a lot of guys who have read Twilight and love it, so I’m glad there are suddenly a lot of guys online proclaiming that it really is a good book.
I do think if you read the next two books you might get away from the sticky sweet romance a bit. There’s definitely a buttload of action in Eclipse, and there’s so much going on that it’s rare Edward and Bella get any time to themselves. XD
I can’t wait for the movie, really. I’ve read a bunch of interviews with the director and screenwriter, and they are really invested in making it as close to the book as possible, but they changed a few things to suit the screen. A lot of Bella’s internal dialogue will be spoken… Like, they tried to find ways and situations for her to actually TELL someone that she hated Forks. And stuff like that. I think it’ll be spectacular.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Wow! Thanks for all the positive feedback.
I’ve been off for a couple days bare-knuckle boxing Tazmanian Devils (something Robert Fure showed me, thanks man), but it’s great to return to so much love.
To answer the question, yes, Neil Miller has a Lavender and Hot Pink 1967 Mustang. I’ve begged him to repaint it, but he says it makes him feel “pretty”. One time he dyed his beard the same colors, and we had to stage an intervention.
Thanks again, and keep checking back to FSR for more Twilight movie news.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Hillarious artical! As everyone else is saying it, I will too—Love and thanks for reading the book! And I’m so glad you liked it! As a 34 year old, I caught myself many times while reading twilight and not able to stop thinking “stupid book!” because I couldn’t understand why I was so drawn to the story. Sometimes I still wonder–but I’ve given up! Have fun reading New Moon and Eclipse–thay are much less sappy–mostly :-)
May 13th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Cole,
Your article was truly entertaining and crammed with so much wit, I had no idea where to laugh first. I too was apprehensive to publicly declare my “like” as you say, with Twilight but now I can say ” Hi my name is Jess, and I’m a Twilight Addict”. Your commentary was hilarious and refreshing to get a guys perspective on a book that appeals to people on so many levels. Hope you enjoy the rest of the series as much, and feel free to do so while eating a bucket of chicken, drinking a beer, and smoking a cigar…while in a flannel shirt(brawny man style):)
BTW- What’s this fascination with Chuck Norris? Two guys I recently spoke with referenced Chuck” Texas Ranger” Norris. Is it mandatory to watch CN movies in Gym class or what?????
May 13th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I’m pretty sure I almost died of laughter while reading this. I’m glad you liked it, more guys should read it. Personally, Twilight is the best book ever. No question. And I proudly say that I am in fact addicted and I am nearing spontaneous combustion from Twilight movie excitement! I find it strange that I love it so much, because my friends practically forced me to read it, nine and a half hours later (no food, no nothing) I finished reading Twilight and was frantically calling my friend to bring me the next one!
So, yeah. Loved the article. And have fun reading the rest of the series. ^.^
May 13th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I think I also love that your artical is so well-done that no real hate-posts have been entered yet! :-) Or maybe they are on the way–I hope not!!!
May 13th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
hilarious man! loved it! keep up the great work! x)
May 14th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Thanks, Cole, it’s a great read! I think guys should pay attention and get ready to take their sweetie to the movie because Edward is going to be the love interest of all things female come December!! Maybe it’s time to take some hints from Edward since he is so irresistable!! And, I’m looking forward to hearing what you think of ‘New Moon’, ‘Eclipse’ and in August ‘Breaking Dawn’!! Love your sense of humor -give us more!! >”< . . .
May 15th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Hi Cole, here’s another MALE’s story about liking Twilight. The numbers are growing every day:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=247072802&blogID=394212142
May 15th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Hi Cole, i enjoyed reading your article! Hopefully it will inspire other manly men to pick up a good romance story. Your article is funny enough to entice my male friends to give it a try! I look forward to the movie! Thanks!
May 15th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I love how you bought a car magazine along with Twilight. I mean, gotta keep your reputation, right? haha. Very entertaining article, hope to read more from you!
May 15th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Cole, you’re brave, wonderful and adored for going public. The article was a joy to read and
the tips at the end had me falling out of my chair laughing.
May 15th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Cloe, I am absolutly in love with you! :) Seriously, I believe that you have to be one of the bravest guys I have ever met! I love these books, and it is great to get a guys insites on how he believes the book to be. It’s really great. Try to get more of “Your kind” to read, I know I am. :)
Oh, and I agree with Sara on the whole “Rob” thing. He did look like he was crazy in every single shot. *sigh* But the movie does seem intriguing .
May 21st, 2008 at 6:04 am
The fluff addicts me, but it’s not good literature. I’d rather be reading Asimov or Tolkien or C.S. Lewis. But the fluff addicts me. And, well, when it came to the two sides of me - the side that hates gender stereotypes v. the side that finds humor in the whole I DID THESE OVER-THE-TOP ACTIVITIES TO STAY A GUY! RAWRRRR!…. the latter won. Hah! And check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs
May 21st, 2008 at 6:08 am
Ack, sorry, forgot to add something - I swear to God, if anybody ever treated me like Edward treats Bella… Yeah, BYE. I’m all for the romantic rescuing, swoon, but I’m fiercely independent in that way, and if a significant other EVER tried to dictate what I could and could not do… Doesn’t matter that he’s right. It’s alllllll in the attitude, and what really drives me nuts is her acceptance of it.
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:21 pm
OME(oh my edward)!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!!!!????? I WOULD KILL TO MEET SOMEONE LIKE EDWARD!!!!!! ALSO, TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN AND NOTHING, I REAPEAT, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH IT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!!!! YOU ALL NEED TO REALIZE THAT TWILIGHT IS AWSOME AND THAT IS THE END OF THAT!!!!!!!!!
Ok I’m done…
Anyway, Cole i think that it’s awsome that you are reading the books, i mean they are just for teen girls, they are for eveybody. I cannot think of a better book serious then these. Oh and you know how you were complaining about all of the romantic stuff, well in the second book there is a lot less of that *sniff* and in the third there is also more fighting so no need to worry about your manlyness or whatnot.
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Oops there were a bunch of mistakes in that last post, whatever…
June 1st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
HilARIous!! My 17 y-old son nagged me into reading these books–DON”T STOP AT TWILIGHT!–and now I obsessively read them over and over. It’s a sickness.
Anyway your “Tips” made me LOL til I cried. My dog was even looking at me funny.
Cole, make the KnC reimburse you so you can move on to New Moon and keep writing!
June 14th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
haha BEST article I’ve read in a while. I love your tips for guys at the end… priceless
Glad to hear of a male fan!!
June 17th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Good job Cole! I really enjoyed what you wrote. As a “TwilightMOM” thank you for taking the time to read “Twilight.” I was wondering what “real” men would think about the books. I think Stephenie Meyer did a great job of weaving a modern-day, love-story fantasy filled with enough action that would appeal to men also. I am so looking forward to the movie - as I am sure you are.
Take care and keep writing!
June 28th, 2008 at 5:10 am
Cole…you are one funny guy! I’m glad to see that you liked the book. You must read New Moon and Eclipse, it only gets better and better. My husband has read all three and he can’t stop talking about them…..except of course when he’s popping the tops off of beer bottles with his teeth or taking hits in the gut from his friend Hanz…gotta stay manly ya know.