Boiling Point – Hype Sucks

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on January 14, 2008

I’m a tough guy to market to, along with most of my demographic. We are the 18-24 year old male, and we are fickle! Personally I won’t be won over by billboards, spoilers, or Happy Meal toys; you’ve got to come correct with a great trailer, a sweet poster, and an interesting concept to get my attention. But I’ll tell you what doesn’t work. In fact, I’ll tell you what backfires 95% of the time. Yea, you read the title of this article, so you know its hype. Hype sucks.

Think back to the last time you went into a really hyped up movie and came out and said “Wow yeah, that was totally worth every single bit of hype I heard surrounding it.” For me, it was probably Batman Begins and before that it was probably Jurassic Park. So as you can see, they’re few and far between. I don’t get won over my critics telling me how mesmerizing Ratatouille is and if you tell me that Hostel 2 has the most shocking ending ever, you better bring your A-game (Hostel 2 did not). When you hype up the “most unexpected shocker ever” and it’s a rip-off of 15 other movies (Hide and Seek I’m looking at you) you’re not shocking and you’ve let me down. I didn’t get swept up in your shit and I don’t buy hype because it never lives up. Snakes on a Plane anyone?

So let’s talk Cloverfield. This film has the worst kinds of hype – mystery hype + viral hype. I guarantee I’ll write a scathing commentary on viral videos one day. But moving forward. Mystery hype annoys the shit out of me. What’s it about, what’s going to happen, oooh and all that bullshit. What’s it called, we’re not telling! Oh and it turns out its fucking called Cloverfield which was the first damn name ever associated with it. But shhhh!! Secrets! Secrets and Lies Secrets and Lies! Give me a break. Viral hype. Blaaarggvomit. I don’t give two rats fucking about “Slusho” or that shit. I don’t fucking care, really. Sweet, you got “Slusho” in Entertainment Weekly and you playing a sweet gag on all of us. Haha. You got me! I hope your movie catches fire. Sending tiny tidbits of mystery information around in the web just annoys me. I don’t like having to “search for clues.” That’s like Coke putting an internet code underneath your bottle cap instead of “You win” because no one is going to go through the fucking hassle of going to the website and typing out a 15 digit code for a “Try again.” You want me to see your movie, right? So let me know what its about. Show me the sweetness.

Now I’m taking a big risk here. People are buzzing about Cloverfield and guys like Harry Knowles are jerking it off already. Well, remember that HK loved The Matrix Revolutions and then consider it. And you know, First Sunday made millions of dollars, so that tells you about trusting what everyone else thinks about a movie.

When you hype a movie up and tell me to expect something grand, I do. I expect the world with a little white fence around it served on some nice fucking china. Because that’s what you promised me. I don’t care if critics talk great about it (3:10 to Yuma) because the studio isn’t trying to sell me on some sideline bullshit and telling me I’ll never guess the ending. They say “Check it out. Bale, Crowe, Cowboys, Gunfight.” Then I say “See you there.”

But hype a movie up and you set yourself up for failure. I think Cloverfield for all its secrets and lies (!) is going to disappoint because they’ve promised me groundbreaking and original. Well from what I’ve seen so far its Godzilla + Blair Witch. So wake me up when it gets original. Heaven help them if I don’t see the fucking monster full on and in its glory in this fucking hyped up “monster movie.” I’ll be full well willing to apologize for setting my sights on this film if it turns out to be great. In fact, I should have a review of it coming soon and if I loved it, I will eat a plate of crow. But it will be on of the rare films that manages to live up to the hype. And one question for all of you buying the hype – who directed Cloverfield? Yeah, I didn’t think you knew. It’s not J.J. Abrahms and he’s probably got the least to do with it out of anyone involved, but he gets the credit.

So maybe it’s just me that hates hype. Maybe it’s just me that hates being built up so high and then left so low. Maybe it’s just me who thinks the last line was vaguely referencing getting blueballs from a film. Maybe I’m alone here. But maybe I’m not. And no matter what, I’ve definitely slipped past my boiling point.


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  • Kaiser
    It bugs you that bad? Well, if you hate it so much, just avoid the "Viral Videos" and
    "Slusho". That's what I did.

    And from what I read, you expect to hate this movie, so it should all turn out good right?
  • Hype always kills a movie. Because nothing can live up to expectations. Ever. I'm reminded of a particular episode of Doug in which the titular character goes to a monster movie (let's pretend it's named Cloverfield) but cannot see the monster because he's too afraid. He covers his eyes again and again even when Roger makes fun of him for being a sissy - perhaps the worst slander a middle schooler can hurl upon another.

    So Doug tries to see it again after some clever advice from his neighbor, and upon actually seeing the monster, realizes that it's shabby. Terrible. Even the zipper is showing. But none of the kids knew because they were ALL too scared to see it.

    I think the show has something to teach us about social norms and about hype. The anticipation of what's behind the closet door is always worse than what's behind the closet door. Unless its a messy closet, because that means it'll have to be cleaned. And I hate cleaning.

    Ten points, Fure.
  • Here
    This is the whiniest post I've ever read. The whole point of viral marketing is that if you don't want to follow it you don't have have to. The only way you are going to see any viral marketing is if you go out of your way to find it and follow it even then you have to to spend time to anything out of it. If it bothers you so much just don't follow it, the movie has plenty of traditional marketing in addition to viral stuff. It is clear reading the article that you're writing it just to go against the grain and attract attention and get article hits which is understandable but atleast try to make your points more coherent and not attack the movie over the most irrelevant things.
  • J.
    It's hard to ignore the viral marketing when Slusho appears on Lost, in Entertainment Weekly, etc, like the article said. Also, Viral marketing does not mean "web marketing." Viral marketing uses pre-existing social groups to plant the idea and let them spread it themselves through Facebook, Myspace, coasters, flyers, vague posters, etc. I live in Hollywood and everywhere I go I see "1.18.08" or "Something has found us." I'm of the same mind that this sucks. However, I'll still be seeing this movie, as I'll watch just about anything that isn't The Bucket List.
  • P.
    I bet you're really mad that the articles this site posts on cloverfield get so many hits too.

    what a rip-off.
  • P - I don't think that is what Robert meant when he said that he doesn't like hype, but that is just me... But to answer your question literally, I am ok with all the hits that we get for covering movies like Cloverfield. The hype doesn't bother me, whatsoever. Then again, we just report the stuff -- its our readers that eat it up.
  • Loukas
    Hype rocks... it puts the spotlight on suckers who love crap just because they have already convinced themselves and told everybody else they would.
  • Jordan
    i approve this article, 100%. the only recent movie i can think of that really lived up to the hype was there will be blood...although that was hardly on the same level. that was more like...two or three critics really raving about it before it came out...so uh....anyways, i'm betting cloverfield will be a let down to anybody who isn't in the studio's pocket (cough harry knowles cough).
  • The market demands that every site cover Cloverfield, you can't just not do it. And this column is definitely my opinion and should in no way reflect on the rest of the site, other than they give me this outlet. I personally want Cloverfield to rock, considering I love monster movies, movies with guns, and I dont want to waste 90 minutes of my time. I want to love it. But even if you love hamburgers generally, if someone spends 6 weeks telling you how good this burger is, your Pavlovian response kicks in and you want that burger sooooo bad. Then you bite it and guess what? It's just another hamburger 98% of the time. But praise this article or burn it down, I love reading what people have to say. And keep posted as I'll be reviewing Cloverfield very soon and the review will be posted within the next 24 hours!
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