Who isn’t a fan of Arrested Development? Let me put it to you this way: the last time we wrote something about the Arrested Development movie, the response made our server cry out in agony. People go nuts for the show, which was killed in its prime, and for good reason. When most people see Michael Cera, they now think of Superbad, but real fans know to think George Michael Bluth first. Same thing with Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Jessica Walter, but only when she’s drunk. We love the Bluths and their dysfunctional nature, so why wouldn’t we be excited about a big screen adaptation?
But just because they are making a movie, that doesn’t mean it will be good. In fact, fans have almost become conditioned to expect the worst when their favorite TV shows are transfered to the silver screen. Miami Vice, The Mod Squad, Inspector Gadget, Lost in Space — shall we continue, or have you had enough? AD fans should hold out hope though, as many of the cast have already said that they are in for the movie. That fact brings us to our first of eight things we need to see in the Arrested Development movie…
8. The Entire Original Cast
Jason Batemen, Jeffrey Tambor and Will Arnett have all spoken publicly about being in, but that isn’t enough. We want everyone from Ron Howard as the narrator to Scott Baio as Bob Loblaw. If Carl Weathers can’t make this work, the production is in serious trouble. And what about Julia Luis-Dreyfus? Maggie Lizer needs to come back, and this time she should be pregnant for real (or so we think). We know the cameos will be there, sure. But if we don’t get the core cast (I’m looking at you David Cross, Alia Shawkat and Tony Hale), this movie will get bounced from our hearts faster than Britney Spears at a Child Services meeting.
7. Lindsay’s Quest to Marry Michael
Lindsay (Portia de Rossi) was always at her best when she was (a) trying to cook (Hot Ham Water, anyone?) or (b) trying to seduce her brother. The storyline of the movie should somehow set up Lindsay’s lust for Michael. We know that the writing team can figure it out. They’ve had plenty of time to think about it.
6. A Big Focus on the “Nevernude” Epidemic
It is sweeping the nation — and if the AD movie wants to stay socially relevant, we are going to require a serious commitment to David Cross in cutoffs.
5. The Stair Car
The world of the Bluths would not be the same without their primary mode of transportation. Oh, and plenty of hop-ons.
4. Lucille 2
While it will be great to see Lucille 1 back in action, driving the self-esteem of her children into the ground, we are going to need some time with Lucille 2 (Liza Minnelli). As well, there will need to be awkward sexual tension between Lucille 2 and Buster — it’s just he natural order of things.
3. The Banana Stand
Heaven forbid they forget the Bluth family Banana Stand. That’s all.
2. Maeby’s Career as a Hollywood Mogul
Toward the end of the series, Maeby was on a roll. We need her to be back in action, possibly pitching a major motion picture about the Bluth family. This is where Ron Howard can step away from being the narrator and jump back in front of the camera (Did we mention that Howard needs to be back as narrator, or else…)
1. GOB. Magic Show. Final Countdown. Girls with Low Self Esteem.
This one is almost self-explainatory. Did you know that the song “Final Countdown” plays every time GOB (Will Arnett) gets on stage to do a magic show? That needs to be in the flick. As well, we’d like to see a magic show during spring break. And while we’re at it… Why not bring back Judy Greer as Kitty Sanchez? WOOOOO!
And those are just the obvious ones. But that is where you come in. We know that you have a grab-bag full of Arrested Development follies that you will need to see in the film adaptation. Please leave your thoughts, ideas and pre-requisites for cinematic greatness in the “Sound Off” section below.