Fanboy Activism
Uwe Boll Is a James Bond Villain!
Posted by Kevin Carr (kevin@filmschoolrejects.com) on April 9, 2008
By now, you’ve heard about the online petition that begs Uwe Boll to stop making films. Well, so has Uwe Boll, and he ain’t happy.
Boll has released a video of himself on MovieSet.com responding to the phenomenon sweeping the Internet, and it’s a doozie! The biggest hack director in the world lashes out at everyone from Michael Bay to George Clooney, claiming he’s “the only genius in the whole fucking business” and declaring that his upcoming film Postal is better than anything else made in the last ten years.
To his credit, he keeps himself together, but the rant makes him look like a low-rent James Bond villain, or at least a maniacal John McCain in a non-televised debate. Check it out:
During the short 65-second video, Boll calls for his followers to rise up and create a “pro-Boll petition.” He seems confident that his legions of fans will sign it, numbering well over a million.
But let’s do the math. Boll’s last film In the Name of the King grossed a measly $4.8 million. Assuming that everyone who paid to see this movie is a fan (which I know for a fact isn’t true because I paid to see it in order to review it), that translates into less than 700,000 fans for Uwe Boll. And I doubt he’d be able to get everyone to sign the pro-Boll petition.
Two of my favorite lines from his online rant are as follows…
“I’m not a fucking retard like Michael Bay and other people running around in this business.”
- Okay, I’m not a fan of Michael Bay, but this guy knows how to make a popcorn film. For comparison, Transformers did 67 times the box office that In the Name of the King did.
“If you really look in my movies, you will see my real genius.”
- Hey, there’s an idea. Let’s get Uwe Boll to remake Real Genius!
If you need a pick-me-up and some fun, check out the entire video here. In the mean time, sign the petition to get rid of Uwe Boll. It’s at 138,782 signatures and climbing.
Spread the good word, people!
Read more articles by Kevin Carr
12 Comments
April 9th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Oh snap…
He did not just say that about Michael Bay…
You are going DOWN Uwe Boll!
April 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I’d rather watch the entire Ed Wood, Jr. collection in one sitting, than sit through 5 minutes of a Uwe Boll movie. And only a real “genius” would ever refer to himself as such. I hope this thing gets 2 million signatures!
April 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I volunteer to see Postal for the site - and I’ll grade it, not in the usual system, but on a pass/fail basis as to whether or not it’s the best movie of the past ten years.
April 9th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I signed that thing like 20x he really sucks only he could get on his home video camera and diss some of the best in the biz and think hes the shit.
Let take him out, Top Gun Style!
April 9th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
No one disses Michael Bay (AWESOME) like that!
But let’s be honest - he hit the nail on the head about Eli Roth. Same shit movie, different release dates.
I’ve actually seen pretty much all of Boll’s work besides that Jason Statham bullshit In the Name of the King. Alone in the Dark actually wasn’t that bad. And House of the Dead had some OK parts. I would rather watch those than some other shit.
And Cody, signing the petition 20x is not very democratic, and actually should negate the entire petition. 1 million unique signatures were needed. Now the entire petition is in doubt. BOLL LIVES.
April 9th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
I dont think Fure is a true Michael Bay Fan =P
April 10th, 2008 at 9:33 am
He said Pro-Bowl
April 10th, 2008 at 11:45 am
So I am reading this article which chastises Uwe Boll … meanwhile a web banner ad for “In the Name of the King” runs across the top
April 10th, 2008 at 11:54 am
I think this guy has a sense of humor about himself y’all are missing.
I mean listen to that fake, funny accent. HILARIOUS.
note to readers: Josh Radde is ironic–An ironic genius some might say.
April 10th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I think Josh Radde is a James Bond villain. I know you have a fluffy white cat
April 10th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
She resides in your wife’s pants, Carr.
{BURN}
April 10th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
He was right about Michael Bay