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By now, you’ve heard about the online petition that begs Uwe Boll to stop making films. Well, so has Uwe Boll, and he ain’t happy.

Boll has released a video of himself on MovieSet.com responding to the phenomenon sweeping the Internet, and it’s a doozie! The biggest hack director in the world lashes out at everyone from Michael Bay to George Clooney, claiming he’s “the only genius in the whole fucking business” and declaring that his upcoming film Postal is better than anything else made in the last ten years.

To his credit, he keeps himself together, but the rant makes him look like a low-rent James Bond villain, or at least a maniacal John McCain in a non-televised debate. Check it out:

During the short 65-second video, Boll calls for his followers to rise up and create a “pro-Boll petition.” He seems confident that his legions of fans will sign it, numbering well over a million.

But let’s do the math. Boll’s last film In the Name of the King grossed a measly $4.8 million. Assuming that everyone who paid to see this movie is a fan (which I know for a fact isn’t true because I paid to see it in order to review it), that translates into less than 700,000 fans for Uwe Boll. And I doubt he’d be able to get everyone to sign the pro-Boll petition.

Two of my favorite lines from his online rant are as follows…

“I’m not a fucking retard like Michael Bay and other people running around in this business.”
- Okay, I’m not a fan of Michael Bay, but this guy knows how to make a popcorn film. For comparison, Transformers did 67 times the box office that In the Name of the King did.

“If you really look in my movies, you will see my real genius.”
- Hey, there’s an idea. Let’s get Uwe Boll to remake Real Genius!

If you need a pick-me-up and some fun, check out the entire video here. In the mean time, sign the petition to get rid of Uwe Boll. It’s at 138,782 signatures and climbing.

Spread the good word, people!