‘Twilight’ Success Drives Stake Through Remake Of ‘Near Dark’

Posted by Rob Hunter (rob@filmschoolrejects.com) on December 12, 2008

I never expected to be saying this, but thank you Twilight.

Sure, you’ve successfully lowered the bar dramatically when it comes to the quality of bestselling fiction and film. And yes, you’ve taught an entire generation of young girls that it’s okay to be subservient towards your superior (and sparkly) male counterparts. And okay, you’ve implied that abstinence is sexy without clarifying if oral counts as sex, which is going to confuse a lot of young girls and allow them to be swayed by persistent boyfriends. Which is actually okay by your standards as the girl should eventually succumb to all of the boy’s whims and desires anyway. But I digress…

But now you’ve actually done something worthwhile for the rest of the world. According to Empire Online, Twilight’s success has actually forced the shutdown of an upcoming film in development. That film was an unnecessary remake of Near Dark, Kathryn Bigelow’s 1987 classic tale of vampires in the Midwest. Brad Fuller, the Platinum Dunes producer behind the remake, explains the reasoning behind the film’s demise.

Near Dark is probably not going to happen. I think that Twilight was the same type of thing we were going for although Near Dark was a much darker, sexier, rated R version of that. But I’m concerned that, conceptually, that Near Dark and Twilight are too similar in terms of a vampire movie. For now, that movie is on hold. The concept of ‘one person’s a vampire, the other person isn’t and they’re in love,’ with the success of that film [Twilight], we would not measure up. It’s not the right time to make that.”

A remake of a film that still holds up perfectly well was a bad idea in the first place, but if Twilight is even remotely “the same type of thing” that they were going for with the new Near Dark then this is fantastic news indeed. So thank you Twilight, and Stephenie Meyer, and all you fans of mediocrity! Thank you!

Are you as thrilled by this news as I am? Show your appreciation by hugging a Twitard! Then try cajoling her into a handjob while the two of you watch Near Dark.

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Marina

I agree that a “Near Dark” remake is completely unnecessary, especially if they were going down the “Twilight” path but it’s disheartening to read you backhandedly insult the fans. I assume you’ve never enjoyed a “mediocre” film?

J.D.

Umm Rob... how can you or anyone else say its lowering the bar?? the movie was excellent.... the books are excellent.... if anything Stephenie Meyer Raised The Bar.... How Many Times Have You Read a story on a vampire falling in love with the one person whose blood he can barely resist?? and how many novels tell you that vampires skin sparkles like diamonds in sunlight?? a vampire is supposed to be IMMORTAL... but yet a little light can desintegrate them?? fair enough about myths and legends.... but come on its getting a little old dont you think?? i dont really like love storys but somehow i can fall in love with Bella and Edwards story and its lowering the bar?? Bella And Edwards Story is exciting and sweet... your insulting every fan by saying we are Twitards?? who gave you the right to call anyone a Twitard by a persons likes and dislikes?? your a Neardarktard.....

Anti-Twitard

Lamest.
Reply.
Ever.
You are so stupid.

slraven

Rob: Why do people like you insist on dissing the Twilight series instead of just saying it isn't your thing? It was very deliberately aimed at a teen and tween female market, and if you, as a guy, don't like it, so be it. But that's not grounds to go around insulting the people who did like it. That's like me saying since I'm female and don't care for the Godfather series everyone who does like the Godfather is a reject. Stupid and egotistical to consider yourself the single judge to which every single movie and book must aspire to satisfy, and if you don't like it it must be crap. I'm glad to finally see something in the mainstream media be popular without it being all about sex and drugs, explosions and T&A. I do agree the movie left a lot to be desired in script and special effects, but enjoyed it for the five bucks I spent as an afternoon's harmless diversion and a chance to put faces and voices to the characters in the book. I enjoyed the books for what they were, a pleasant way to pass my time while relaxing with something that appealed to my taste. That they don't appeal to yours doesn't automatically make them crap.

‘Twilight’ Success Drives Stake Through Remake Of ‘Near Dark’

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