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I need someone to remind me why we’re even covering this again. Unlike some of the writers here at the site, I don’t see Jessica Biel playing a stripper as justification for caring about a movie that looks about as stock and trade as the last batch of dry-wall I picked up at the hardware store. It’s bad enough when a decent film uses something directly from the handbook – but when it goes for the gusto and tries to hit every cliche on the map, it just becomes a lesson in what not to do. Obviously, I haven’t seen the movie yet, but judging by the synopsis and the trailer, audiences are in for the same ride they’ve been on one hundred times at least. So before we share the trailer, we’d like to share a little recipe with you:

Unimaginative Drama Movie

• Yield: Unlimited

• 1 Priest or Priest losing his faith

• 1 Quirky-jobbed character who deserves love

• 1 Stripper

• 1 Los Angeles Setting

• 120 Pages seemingly-important emotional dialog

Stir all ingredients together liberally, bake at 350 degrees until golden brown and emitting a slight turd-smell.

Powder Blue couldn’t look more generic if it was set on….Oh, God, it’s set on Christmas Eve:

The trailer doesn’t make it seem like Biel will show anything, but it’s not a Red Band. I’m hoping there’s at least some authenticity to those scenes because there’s nothing worse than stripping scenes that look as a fake as a scene in a strip club without topless dancers. Bad analogies aside, the R-rating does call for some nudity, and we have it on decent authority that Biel is letting it all hang out. Not trying to be crass, but if you’re going to have a stripper as a main character, you’d better be prepared to throw in some topless reality.

To be fair, I’m conflicted because the teaser trailer was much better – just shots of the movie in front of the song Dripping Whispers by The Souls’ Release. So, yeah, when people start talking is when they lose me.

Let’s just hope it doesn’t start raining frogs near the end. Or someone will have to give me a sponge bath and tell me in a monotone voice that everything will be okay.

What do you think? Am I way off base here or does this look like a script that should have been thrown all the way to Pasadena?