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Hayden Panettiere is a one-woman cheerleader fetish site, and there’s apparently no end in sight. She’s been signed to star in the movie version of Larry Doyle’s novel, I Love You , Beth Cooper. She’ll be playing the role of Beth Cooper, not the role of I, so all of you lesbian cheerleader fans are out of luck. Twenty-seven year old Paul Rust will portray the high school valedictorian who sets out to woo nineteen-year-old Panettiere beginning with the above declaration during their graduation ceremony. Hilarious complications ensue as Beth Cooper, head cheerleader, has no idea who he is! And her beefy boyfriend is in town on leave from the army and boy is he pissed! They’ve got one wild night ahead of them in a film that reminds us all about the fun times we had with the heart-of-gold cheerleaders back in high school!

So that should be fun.

I kid, it’s bound to suck. The only ray of hope comes from director Chris Columbus.

I kid again, but seriously now, the book’s author, Larry Doyle, is an ex-Simpsons writer so at the very least the dialogue should be sharp, witty, and pop-culturally relevant.