This Is What It’s Like When ‘Twilight’ Fans Attack

Posted by Paige MacGregor (paige@filmschoolrejects.com) on April 10, 2009

What happens when Twilight fans attack?

Apparently, a whole range of things can happen—from a “Slap on the Wrist” consisting of anything from punching someone to slapping them with a book (we can only assume that it’s a hardcover from the series) to “Police Worthy,” including phone harassment, car keying, etc., to “…Felony”, which includes beating someone with a bat, threatening them with a knife, choking them, throwing a brick at their head, attempting to drown them or even trying to slit their throat. The worst of these supposed attacks are labeled “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit….” and the events described there are disturbing at best, psychotic at worst (in one incident a 19-year-old “Twihard” threw a beaker of acid into the face of a girl who said that the series was crap… read about it here).

But don’t worry; if these reports are true, and that seems like a pretty big “if”, the only people who need to start protecting themselves are young adults and adolescents who are vocal about their disdain for the Twilight franchise—books and movies alike.

That’s right, an all-out war is a-brewin’, folks… but which side will you choose? Are you a “Twihard”, defined in the urban dictionary (yes, the urban dictionary actually has an entry for Twihard) and differentiated from a “Twilighter”, or Twilight fan, as individuals who have embraced “a new religion based on Twilight” (Urban Dictionary). Described as “Savage and wild,” Twihards are cited as needing “every single thing to be perfect in the upcoming Twilight movie”. If you’re not sure where you fall on the scale of Twilight fans, the Urban dictionary can help. The entry on Twihards also contains a list of 41 ways to tell if you’re a Twihard, including our favorites:

“5. It’s sick, but you wish Vampires totally existed so you can marry one.”
“10. Whenever you hear ‘Girlfriend’ by Avril Lavigne, you can’t help but replacing the words with ‘Edward is a Virgin’”
“18. You dream about killing Bella so you can date Edward.”
“27. All of your friends think you need to see a shrink.”

If you’re not a Twihard (or a “Twilighter”), then you must be an “Anti”, described not simply as someone who dislikes the Twilight franchise, but as someone who dislikes, or even hates, the franchise while also insisting upon instigating arguments with Twihards about the deficiencies of both the books and the film (such as the members of a new Web-based group called Twilight Sucks).

Regardless of where you may, or may not, fall on the scale defined by these extremes, the fact remains that reports are rampant of “Antis” being attacked by Twihards. Given that most of these events are cataloged in the “Twihard Attack Directory” that appears on the Anti Web site Twilight Sucks, their voracity and accuracy is questionable at best. Not to mention that most of the attacks are chronicled on message boards in posts by the attackers, the attacked, or those who witnessed the incident, none of which would be the most reliable of sources.

As io9’s Meredith Woerner commented earlier this week, “This is what happens when you create a book/movie about teens sexually suppressing themselves whilst whimpering and dry-humping their brains out. All that pent-up emotion has turned fans into violent, horny Twihards”. She may have something there.

It’s all pretty ridiculous… but at the same time rather unsettling. If younger generations are willing to be this violent towards one another over fictional characters created by a writer, what will they be like in a few years when they’re dealing with the trials and tribulations of everyday adult life? We can only speculate, but for now we’d suggest avoiding teenagers with Twilight related tattoos, clothing, or other accessories… just in case.

Read more articles by Paige MacGregor