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What a horribly misguided and dangerous attempt at viral marketing this is… Rainn Wilson, star of The Office and the upcoming big-screen comedy The Rocker has apparently kidnapped his perky co-star from The Office, Jenna Fischer. To make matters worse, he’s blogging about it at FreeJennaNow.com.

Why would Wilson do such a thing? You would think the obvious answer is for the same reason any of us would kidnap Fischer… for scintillating conversation, to play Xbox together in our pajamas, for lighthearted Office cosplay, to spank her as punishment for starring in The Brothers Solomon… but no! Wilson’s motives aren’t as innocent as that, in fact they’re downright twisted.

Wilson demands that The Rocker make $18.7 million dollars opening weekend. Fisher is currently ensconced in the trunk of Wilson’s prop Firebird in the parking lot of Dunder Mifflin, and she’ll stay there until Wilson’s singular demand is met. Wilson’s blog is being updated daily and includes visits from The Office co-stars that he hasn’t kidnapped as well as a promotional visit from Guns ‘n Roses guitarist Slash.

I would say a rescue attempt is in order, but since Dunder Mifflin is in New Jersey it’s probably easier and safer if we all just go see the movie. The Rocker opens August 20th.