The 2009 GAG Awards: Celebrating the Worst in Cinema

Posted by Kevin Carr (kevin@filmschoolrejects.com) on February 25, 2009

gag-awards-2009

The 2009 GAG Awards: Celebrating the Worst in Cinema

guru-gagAs the Oscars have come and gone, and so have the GAG Awards, sponsored by Film School Rejects. These annual awards remember the worst films of 2008.

The Love Guru took the most awards, locking up Worst Picture, Worst Director (Marco Schnabel), Worst Actor (Mike Myers) and Worst Supporting Actor (Vern Troyer). The actresses split the year, dishonoring Eva Longoria Parker in the early release of Over Her Dead Body as Worst Actress and Scarlett Johansson in the Christmas flop The Spirit for Worst Supporting Actress.

In a year with great animated films, there were plenty of terrible ones as well. However, it was the Commie-era moon-shot 3D stinker Fly Me to the Moon which took home the Worst Animated Film Award.

As much as the voting members of the GAG Awards hated The Love Guru, they also vented their spleen about the teen horror romance Twilight. This monster hit brought home the dishonors of having the Worst Special Effects and for being the Worst Blockbuster.

Other notable awards was The X-Files: I Want to Believe for Worst Sequel, Seth Rogen for Most Overexposed Celebrity (the special Godiva Award) and Seven Pounds for Worst Oscar Bait.

Finally, along with fellow SNL alum Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers made another top spot as the Cinematic Tragedy of 2008: “Former funny men Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers proving that they may no longer be funny.”

A complete list of awards follows, including the winners and other nominees:

WORST PICTURE
The Love Guru – WINNER!
Over Her Dead Body
Disaster Movie
Meet Dave
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

WORST DIRECTOR
Marco Schnabel, The Love Guru – WINNER!
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Disaster Movie
Brian Robbins, Meet Dave
Steven Spielberg, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening

WORST ACTOR
Mike Myers, The Love Guru – WINNER!
Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
Al Pacino, 88 Minutes
Matthew McConaughey, Fool?s Gold
Martin Lawrence, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

WORST ACTRESS
WINNER – Eva Longoria Parker, Over Her Dead Body
Kate Hudson, Fool’s Gold
Maria Bello, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Paris Hilton, The Hottie and the Nottie
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
WINNER – Verne Troyer, The Love Guru
Tracy Morgan, First Sunday
Dominic West, Punisher: War Zone
Matthew Lillard, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Shia LaBeouf, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
WINNER – Scarlett Johansson, The Spirit
Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie
Katie Holmes, Mad Money
Lake Bell, Over Her Dead Body
Thandie Newton, W.

WORST SCREENPLAY
WINNER – Meet Dave
The Love Guru
Disaster Movie
10,000 B.C.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

WORST DOCUMENTARY
WINNER – I.O.U.S.A.
No Intelligence Allowed
Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden
Bigger, Stronger, Faster
Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired

WORST ANIMATED FILM
WINNER – Fly Me to the Moon
Star Was: The Clone Wars
Delgo
Igor
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

WORST SPECIAL EFFECTS
WINNER – Twilight
Disaster Movie
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Meet the Spartans
10,000 B.C.

WORST SEQUEL
WINNER – The X-Files: I Want to Believe
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

WORST BLOCKBUSTER
WINNER – Twilight
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Hancock
Sex and the City

MOST OVEREXPOSED CELEBRITY
WINNER – Seth Rogen (The Spiderwick Chronicles; Horton Hears a Who; Kung Fu Panda; Step Brothers; Pineapple Express; Zack & Miri Make a Porno)
Angelina Jolie (Kung Fu Panda; Wanted; Changeling)
Elizabeth Banks (Definitely, Maybe; Meet Dave; Zack & Miri Make a Porno; W.; Role Models)
Brendan Fraser (Journey to the Center of the Earth; The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor)
Kate Winslet (Revolutionary Road; The Reader)

WORST OSCAR BAIT
WINNER – Seven Pounds
Miracle at St. Anna
Changeling
W.
The Reader

CINEMATIC TRAGEDY OF 2008
Former funny men Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers proving that they may no longer be funny – WINNER!
Having Pacino and DeNiro in the most uneventful cop drama of the year
Hancock made more money than WALL-E
Fucking Indiana Jones
Fangless vampires
Pierce Brosnan’s singing in Mamma Mia!
Midnight Meat Train not given honest release
More self-serious Will Smith Oscar bait tripe
The fall of Simon Pegg in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People and Run Fatboy Run
Two crappy spoof movies in one year
Growing weary of seeing Kate Winslet naked in The Reader
Samuel L. Jackson not getting to say “motherfucker” in The Spirit
The awkward attempt to pass the torch from Harrison Ford to Shia Labeouf in Indiana Jones
Stallone’s face

About the GAG Awards
The annual GAG Awards are nominated and voted on by the United Critics Organization (UCO), which comprises professional journalists and film critics. “GAG” stands for “God Awful Guild,” which honors a new guild, or group, of films and filmmakers for outstanding cinematic disasters each year.


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  • Bigger, Stronger, Faster.... this is considered one of your WORST 5 of the YEAR? I sense extreme bias.
  • curt
    yea that shit was really good
  • haha...i think you really hate Kate Winslet...what a weird choices, and it's kind of "everybody praised for her, i just anti it for no reason!" She is a great actress with "brain".
  • exactly! I mean... what the hell? a nomination for the reader for worst oscar bait? you actually nominated kate winslet for worst actress? that's just crazy...
  • It certainly is pretty dubious considering there have to have been hundreds of worst performances than Winslet's. Also, are you guys two SEPARATE Sebastians? I don't think I've ever seen a talkback where two Sebastians commented, let alone one responding directly to the other's.

    Consider my mind blown.
  • It certainly is pretty dubious considering there have to have been hundreds of worse performances than Winslet's. Also, are you guys two SEPARATE Sebastians? I don't think I've ever seen a talkback where two Sebastians commented, let alone one responding directly to the other's.

    Consider my mind blown.
  • hahaha, yeah, we're definitely different people. I only realized I was replying to another Sebastian when my reply was already posted. but yeah, there were definitely worst performances in worst movies but much worst actresses. really odd...
  • Scarlett Johannsen is a lovely, lovely woman and she married one of my countrymen, but I think she's overrated. Maybe I haven't seen her in enough, or maybe she just has to mature a little. I don't know what it is. But I'm never riveted by her...
  • I wonder why Zooey Deschanel and Mark Wahlberg didn't make it on here for actor and supporting actress. They apparently trained for the roles with high school drama students.

    Also, how did you pick the documentary category? Throwing darts at a wall with films pinned to it? IOUSA? Bigger, Stronger, Faster? Roman Polanski? That's a bit shocking to me. (The other two are not). What about Religulous?
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