Ten Cool Batman Gadgets and Their Everyday Uses

Posted by Robin Ruinsky (robin@filmschoolrejects.com) on July 14, 2008

Batman is THE man. Over the years the masked, caped, bat eared crusader, warrior for the soul of Gotham, has accrued a nice stash of gadgets. These items aid Batman in his daily quest to protect Gotham from the likes of The Joker, Two Face, The Penguin and any petty villains who dare to walk the streets of his beloved city. We’ll now take a look at a day in the life of one ordinary family who uses ten of those bat gadgets to get through their busy day.

1. The Bats of the Bat Cave
These furry winged denizens of the cave live at the family’s beck and call. There’s no need for an alarm clock to wake them up when a bat can be trained to swoop out of the bat cave and land on Mom and Dad’s heads at the appropriate time. Now that they’re awake they hear the squeak of the bats that are getting the kids up for school. Neither parent will worry about Little Bruce or Little Susie forgetting their homework or lunch money. The bats can drop off any missing items at the school. Bats are also very useful cleaning second story windows, realigning the satellite dish, scaring off the meter man and ridding the neighborhood of unwanted pests. Work awaits so:

2. The Bat Mobile
Mom climbs into the Bat Mobile which is the perfect vehicle for her daily driving needs. With gas prices so high the Bat mobile’s machine guns come in handy when she’s stuck in traffic. No one is advocating killing fellow road warriors, but the very threat of those guns will clear traffic and there’s no pounding the steering wheel in frustration during a traffic jam.

3. The Bat-pod
Dad is on his way into the city traveling on the ultra cool Bat pod. This fabulous motorcycle can not only fit into any parking space but blast a car out of one to make it available. And who wouldn’t want to be able to neatly zip in and out of city traffic on the way to a business meeting, a lunch date or use the speed to make it to a movie before the opening credits.

4. The Bat Cape
At her office Mom dreads venturing out get her lunch. Then she remembers she packed her Bat Cape. “Why ride when you can glide” is the tag line for advertising the Cape. Particularly good for city life where tall skyscrapers make great launching pads. The cape will help anyone avoid walking long city blocks, paying for subway fare or hailing a cab.

5. The Cowl
Dad leaves work to meet friends at Shea Stadium for a day game. His friends wear baseball caps but not Dad. He wears the Cowl which is his ticket to safety in those swell seats right on the first base line. No worries about foul balls or broken bats hitting him in the head. The Cowl will protect him. Even better those listening devices in the ears keep him on top of every play and every umpire’s bad call.

6. The Batsuit
While Dad’s at the game, Mom has left work to pick up the kids. Soon they’re on their way to shop for dinner. All of them have donned a Bat Suit. Once only affordable for Batman in his quest to rid Gotham of the criminal element, it’s now the perfect protective gear when shopping. The kids can fall from the shopping cart and Mom never has to worry about injuries. And no one is going to get in her way when she reaches for the last carton of 2 percent milk. Not while she’s wearing the Bat Suit.

7. Batarang
The game is over and it’s time to get home for dinner. Traffic is snarled and it seems like getting the Bat Pod through the traffic will be impossible. Not a problem if Dad can disable a few cars before they pull in front of him. All he has to do is use a Batarang or two.

8. The Utility Belt
He reaches into his Utility belt with its array of fun stuff including min smoke bombs, emergency medical kit and power bars. He’ll find those batarangs waiting to be used for just the right occasion.

9. Bat Grappler
Mom and the kids arrive home. Panic sets in when Mom, to her chagrin, realizes she’s left the house keys on the kitchen table. Little Bruce tugs at his Mom’s sleeve, a big grin on his face. He knows the solution is right on his waist. Reaching into his child size Utility Belt he pulls out his Bat Grappler and to Mom’s relief scales the side of the house. Climbing through that bedroom window Mom told him to close before they left, he’s poised to save the day. There’s no scolding Bruce about the open window because he’s let Mom and Susie into the house faster than you can say Peter Parker.

10. The Gauntlets
Just a half hour later Dad drives up on the Bat Pod and watches in awe as Mom, using the Gauntlets’ retractable blades, slices and dices the perfect stir fry for dinner.

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