‘Stretch Armstrong’ Pulls Himself Onto Big Screen
Posted by Dr. Cole Abaius (cole.abaius@filmschoolrejects.com) on June 3, 2009
Hot off the heels of the riveting announcement two days ago that Waldo (of Where’s? fame) will be getting his own feature-length film, Universal Pictures is warning everyone ahead of time that Stretch Armstrong will be the first film they release amongst the 6-picture deal they’ve made with toymaker Hasbro.
Brian Grazer is tackling the challenge, adding the film to the already-giant pile of films that the man has produced including the in-production Ridley Scott take on Robin Hood.
And who would best face the ridiculousness of writing a franchise based off a children’s toy? No, not Michael (Awesome) Bay. Steve Oedekerk (from the mind that brought you Evan Almighty!) will be lending his particular level of mediocre comedic talent to the scriptwriting job.
With Stretch coming first out of the gate on April 15, 2011, Universal will then deliver the onslaught of:
- Ridley Scott’s Monopoly
- Gore Verbinski’s Clue
- Kevin Lima’s Candyland
- Peter Berg’s Battleship
- (Possibly) Michael (Awesome) Bay’s Ouija; and
- My Brain Exploding
Look at that list. Apparently Michael Bay was available after all.
Either these projects are a public’s wet dream or wet nightmare. I can’t tell which. Would families really want to see all of these board games adapted into cinematic stories? Doesn’t it sort of ruin the unique experience of playing them on your own, with your kids or with your parents or with that bored babysitter that keeps texting her boyfriend Jason? What does she see in that guy anyway?
What do you think?
Read more articles by Dr. Cole Abaius
