Steven Seagal: Vampire Slayer

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on December 17, 2008

Silly Steven Seagal - Guns Don't Work on Vampires

Tis the season for Miracles! Did you ever get one of those bits of news that is just too good to be true? The kind of news that makes you feel warm in your tummy and tingly in your groin? Today is one of those days, my friends, because Judo master and actor extraordinarre Steven “The Pony Tail” Seagal is ready to take it to the undead creatures of the night in Against the Dark.

You read that right. Steven Seagal. Fighting Vampires.

We reported on this a few weeks ago, but to refresh your terrible short term memory – in the film, vampires have decimated the human population and it’s up to bad ass vigilante, ex-military, current katana master Tao (Seagal) to lead his team across an apocalyptic wasteland to destroy the vampire menace and rescue a group of survivors trapped in a hospital.

Now we can report that joining him in the fight is Tanoi Reed, best known for being the cousin of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and also for powerbombing fools off giant pyramids as Toa on American Gladiators.

Color me mother-fucking excited for this news. This could be the most important group of images ever put on film. More good news? Against the Dark will be rated R for bloody violence/gore, some language and brief nudity.

What do you think of this news?

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D Train

So I guess we can add "neck-snap" to the list of things that will kill a vampirr.

TL_is_now_TJL

So it will be like On Deadly Ground, but instead of evil oil magnates, they'll be vampires.

Okay, i can see that.

slraven

I am hoping this doesn't end up looking like Resident Evil: Vampire Ponytail! Sorry, that was snarky, but that was the image that popped into my head when I read the plot description. Instead of mutant undead we have supernatural undead, and instead of Mila Jovovich we have Steven Sagal. Of course, the small team of heroes against overwhelming odds on a mission to save the world (embodied by a small group of helpless survivors trapped somewhere) from evil is a tried (and tried and tried) and true plot, and the Devil is in the Details. I will be interested to see how this one comes out. It sounds like a lot of fun if done right.

UnblinkingEye

Next up is Chuck Norris vs Zombies!

adhoc

dont tease me like that!

Phoghat

I'd buy that for a dollar

Steven Seagal: Vampire Slayer

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