Rob Zombie Remaking ‘The Blob’ Without A Blob-like Thing

Posted by Rob Hunter (rob@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 28, 2009 Share

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Rob Zombie’s newest abortion horror film, Halloween 2, hits theaters today but he’s already deciding what to screw with next. A third Halloween perhaps? An original horror film? A movie with real characters instead of white-trash caricatures? What’s a shtick-rocker turned shit-director to do?

The answer is remake The Blob of course…

Zombie has signed a deal to write and direct a remake of The Blob with funding already in place for a $30 million, R-rated flick. The story follows a big blobby thing from space that kills everyone it comes in contact with while growing at an alarming rate. There have been two versions of the film already with the original coming out in 1958 starring Steve McQueen. Director Chuck Russell remade it in 1988 with the McQueen of his generation, Kevin Dillon. Neither version is a truly great film, but both are fun and entertaining. I don’t expect the same to be said of Zombie’s inevitable stinker. But don’t take my negativity at face value…

My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change,” Zombie said with a straight face. “That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now. I’d been looking to break out of the horror genre, and this really is a science fiction movie about a thing from outer space,” Zombie said, barely stifling a giggle. “I intend to make it scary, and the great thing is I have the freedom once again to take it in any crazy direction I want to.”

Seriously? So Rob Zombie’s The Blob won’t have a blobby thing? Because, maybe it’s just me, but that kind of seems like the definition of the title. I can see it now… a gelatinous cube with a mullet sits and wiggles in the corner of a trailer home as his mother, played by Sheri Moon Zombie, berates and insults him for being an unfuckable square. The abuse continues for years until the morning he wakes to find her cutting his father into Jello shots… he snaps, well he wobbles anyway, and kills her before heading into town on a rampage…

Excited about Rob Zombie’s The Blob?

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  • Wyk D
    Well, it seems no one has a good thing to say about Rob or his movies. Wasn't it King Solomon who said there was nothing new under the sun? Everything you see or hear in the media is a remake of something else, whether you know it or not. Remakes and Rob smashing aside, he's a good director, whether you know it or not.
  • Ronnie
    Oh, screw Rob Hunter. Rob Zombie is a great musician and a great artist. I think he has a good idea. It will probably SOME type of blob, it will just be different from the other two films.
  • tuttifukinfruiti
    I disagree wit doodoostick you r not a fucktard your more like a stain dat shouldve been wiped off ur mums face
  • tuttifukinfruiti
    Rob fukin rulls!! the devils rejects is one great movie!! N i bet if u were tappin sherri you put her in ur movies lol oh and one more thing i am the devil and i have come to do the devils work!!
  • nick
    u sound as if ur not a horror fan and i can accept it but u gotta stop ranking on rob
  • kenny souders
    rob zombie fucking rules all you haters just keep youre comments to yourself keep making movies zombie you fucking rule
  • sean
    your a fuckin asshole talking all that shit when rob zombie can put a creative vision on a tired old franchise admit he has tallent
  • Lee
    It'll be a pile of crap like most his other films. The only one barely watchable is Devil's Rejects.

    1988 Blob had it right. That movie was disgusting and very frightening at times. There's nothing Zombie can do that will top it. He's derivative at best.
  • 34567
    His version of HALLOWEEN really blew chunks! The original HAD VISION, it was the fact that Carpenter had no serious special effects or a lot of money that made it scary. The original Halloween's atmosphere and psychological terror was driven by the imagination of the viewers, you didn't have to see Micheal Myers throughout the whole film, but you knew he was watching his victims, you knew his presence was everywhere. The film built the audience up with shadows and creepy lighting, with Myers' breathing through the mask, the lack of technology in the 70's for this masterpiece allowed the mind to serve as a substitute. Zombies' vision was too much, too teenage 21st century crap!!! The origin of Micheal was a mystery in the original. THAT MADE IT SCARY!!! Dr. Loomis in the original was also a key ingredient. Carpenter presented Loomis to be the second most important character. Unlike the Loomis in the remake, whom didn't even have that philosophy or deep understanding of the evil that was loose in Haddonfield. You can't replace Donald Pleasence, especially a man that portrayed Heinrich Himmler! Loomis in the remake was more like a side character . The music also gave the original that fright! It was a simple piano sound with synthesiser, not Zombies' too over the top guitar riffs!!! Micheal was stealthy, not too violent, not too noticable, not too impatient. He didn't slam someone's hand into a stall door over and over, he didn't move fast! Micheal waited, studied the weaknesses of his victims before he struck, his motions were more like a marionette than human. HE WAS THE SHAPE OF EVIL, not some heavy metal video character like Zombie made him into. As for The Blob, I would rather some other director do it. Zombie will ruin it. I stand in my belief ALWAYS!!! the 1970's and 1980's will always be the best time in horror since the days of Anthony Perkins in Psycho and Bela Logosi in Dracula, or like the most beautifully done vampire flick ever-THE ORIGINAL SALEM'S LOT! You people in today's generation have no idea what a good horror movie is, or good music at that matter. Please bring back the old cameras and lighting. Please bring back the imagination and only the clothes on your back to make great film. I'm tired of the CGI and I'm tired of these young punks destroying the art of subliminal fright that made movies like The Blob and Halloween so fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    WHY NOT HAVE A GELATINOUS ALIEN ACID GOO EATING PEOPLE?! THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE BLOB YOU STUPID NEANDERTHAL LONG HAIRED IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HOLLYWOOD DOES WHEN IT GETS IT'S GRIMY HANDS ON CULT CLASSICS LIKE THE BROOD OR VIDEODROME! I KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE READING THIS THAT AGREES!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THERE'S NOT!!!!!!!
  • thunderkiss65
    Most people dont like his movies because theyre full of contreversy in every minute. Whether its extreme violence, nasty gore, or thousands of sex scenes. Personally, I like his writing and directing style and am anticipating his interpretation of "The Blob".
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