Rob Zombie Remaking ‘The Blob’ Without A Blob-like Thing

Posted by Rob Hunter (rob@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 28, 2009

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Rob Zombie’s newest abortion horror film, Halloween 2, hits theaters today but he’s already deciding what to screw with next. A third Halloween perhaps? An original horror film? A movie with real characters instead of white-trash caricatures? What’s a shtick-rocker turned shit-director to do?

The answer is remake The Blob of course…

Zombie has signed a deal to write and direct a remake of The Blob with funding already in place for a $30 million, R-rated flick. The story follows a big blobby thing from space that kills everyone it comes in contact with while growing at an alarming rate. There have been two versions of the film already with the original coming out in 1958 starring Steve McQueen. Director Chuck Russell remade it in 1988 with the McQueen of his generation, Kevin Dillon. Neither version is a truly great film, but both are fun and entertaining. I don’t expect the same to be said of Zombie’s inevitable stinker. But don’t take my negativity at face value…

My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change,” Zombie said with a straight face. “That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now. I’d been looking to break out of the horror genre, and this really is a science fiction movie about a thing from outer space,” Zombie said, barely stifling a giggle. “I intend to make it scary, and the great thing is I have the freedom once again to take it in any crazy direction I want to.”

Seriously? So Rob Zombie’s The Blob won’t have a blobby thing? Because, maybe it’s just me, but that kind of seems like the definition of the title. I can see it now… a gelatinous cube with a mullet sits and wiggles in the corner of a trailer home as his mother, played by Sheri Moon Zombie, berates and insults him for being an unfuckable square. The abuse continues for years until the morning he wakes to find her cutting his father into Jello shots… he snaps, well he wobbles anyway, and kills her before heading into town on a rampage…

Excited about Rob Zombie’s The Blob?


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  • I'd watch the movie you'd described.
  • PHiL
    Zombie has vision, but as a writer...that's where it gets fuzzy.
  • Aleric
    Rob has no one standing behind him to say, "Hey Rob, that is stupid, how about doing it this way". Instead he has a bunch of sychophants telling him he is the greatest director since John Carpenter.
  • How can you make the Blob without a pink thing? I suspect he likes big black things better.
  • I actually like Rob Zombies movies. They have a great combination of over the top violence, humor and demented perversion.
  • chille
    Good to know you share my burning hatred for Rob Zombie, Hunter.
    And seriously, how can you remake a movie without featuring the title character? Isn't that, you know, making another movie? Rob Zombie just knows original movies don't make money these days (Drag Me To Hell, for example) so he's just shamelessly hoping to get money off of name recognition.
  • azabyss
    I'm not really a zombie fan, but at least someone is trying to make R rated horror not for teens.

    He might try too hard and his stereotypes might get eye rolling, but at least it is not the pansy PG13 crap that is usually made in the "horror" genre. At least he is not filming a compromise.

    That being said: LEAVE HALLOWEEN ALONE, Rob. Move along. Although I could not care less if Zombie crapped all over a tie in to the original part 3.
  • Christopher_M
    Rob,

    I do hate the idea of Zombie making anything that's not his own work. Although the prospect of him doing a science fiction film is interesting. Give him a chance to prove you wrong before you slam his concept.
  • As a writer/director he's already had several chances hasn't he? I've seen three of his four movies and all have sucked, so I don't think I'm being premature by slamming his future work. And come on... a remake of the blob without a big blob? That's just stupid.

    That said, if his Blob ends up being great or even pretty good then I'll be the first one to praise it here.
  • The Devil's Rejects did not suck you suck.
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