The Reject Report: Pineapples, Pants and More Batman

Posted by John Cairns (jcairns@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 5, 2008

Here we go again with an early edition of the Reject Report, with two more new flicks served up against The Dark Knight. This really is starting to get ridiculous. Every weekend for three weeks now, all I have been talking about is The Dark Knight and how well it’s done, or how well it’s going to do. No movie has been able to stop it. I guess the big headlines are going to happen whenever the heck the Batman is finally toppled. It could happen this weekend. Then again, it might not!! Pineapple Express and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 are the new releases, and they’re going to have a tough road ahead just to finish in first place.

I will begin with more Dark Knight record news to pass along — as I seemingly do every week at this same time. As expected, on Monday this flick passed the $400 million mark in its domestic release to become the fastest movie ever to hit that mark. It took only 18 days for the latest Batman flick to make it to $400 million, shattering the record of 43 days by Shrek 2. So another record bites the dust! I still don’t know if Titanic can be caught, though. The Dark Knight is starting to lose some steam, although it’s getting decent repeat business and continues to hold up week after week.

As well, there are bound to be some concerned Morgan Freeman fans who are going to see the Dark Knight, just because they heard on the news that he was injured in a car accident this. Just as Christian Bale was in the news for getting arrested; just as Heath Ledger was in the news for being dead. This movie sure is cursed, isn’t it? Anyway, based on all that I am predicting that $25 million will be the tally for The Dark Knight this coming weekend. So that is the number to beat for the two new movies rolling out. I’ll begin with the latest Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 is the sequel to the hit movie from 2005 that made $39 million. Considering it only cost $25 mil to make, that’s not too shabby. But it’s not exactly in Batman’s league as far as blockbuster territory is concerned. The first movie was based on the book by the same name and the sequel is based on the other books in the series. This one stars America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel and Blake Lively reprising their roles from the first flick, playing four teenage friends for life, with four stories once again involving each of them.

You can tell I am yawning my way through the preview of this Pants movie. You superhero fans are probably bored hearing about this flick, so here goes my prediction: $16 million for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, with all that cash coming out of the pants-pockets of teenage girls. Like Sex and the City, there is not going to be a single self-respecting guy in the audience!! (Except, maybe, for professional film critics who are paid to be there.) I wonder, even, if guys will allow their girlfriends to even drag them into this movie! I wouldn’t be surprised to see the girlfiriends go to this flick, while their boyfriends go see something else!!! This movie is going to get no support from guys at all. In an unusual move the flick opens on a Wednesday, so it should have the jump on the weekend.

Next is Pineapple Express, once again from the Judd Apatow producing machine that in the past year has brought you Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Drillbit Taylor, Walk Hard, Superbad and Knocked Up. And if there is one person I associate with late-summer movies, it is Apatow, who rolled out such classics as Superbad and The 40 Year Old Virgin late in the summer to much success. This one stars Seth Rogen and James Franco as a couple of stoners. I guess these are white-dude versions of Harold and Kumar, or modern-day versions of Cheech and Chong. Anyway, Rogen intends to purchase this strain of marijuana known as Pineapple Express from Franco, except he unintentionally witnesses a murder and the bad guys end up on his trail trying to kill him. The cast also features Gary Cole, Rosie Perez, Danny R. McBride, Amber Heard, Craig Robinson, Kevin Corrigan and Bill Hader. It’s directed by David Gordon Green and Rogen co-wrote the screenplay with Evan Goldberg.

A few weeks ago I thought for sure Pineapple Express would clean up at the box office and restore Judd Apatow to full glory. I’m not so sure now.

Here’s the problem I see. How the heck does this movie make any money when Harold and Kumar’s highly-anticipated sequel only opened to $14 million dollars?! I know it’s another Judd Apatow movie, but let’s face facts, people. The public is fed up with Judd Apatow movies. The last Apatow movie to open in first place was Superbad, and that was a LONG time ago. Step Brothers did okay, but Will Ferrell probably deserves more credit for that result that Judd Apatow. Some of Apatow’s other recent efforts have not only lost at the box office: they’ve gotten clobbered. I’m thinking of Walk Hard and Forgetting Sarah Marshall in particular: they did much worse out of the gate than expected. The word seems to be out there that Apatow’s movies are not the movies they used to be. Which is why I am dialing back my prediction for how this flick will do.

This movie opens Wednesday and should do good business in its opening night. I wouldn’t be surprised if it opens in first place on Wednesday and Thursday. But I wonder how it will hold up by the time the weekend hits.

That’s right, I am predicting $24.9 million this weekend for Pineapple Express. That means the Dark Knight, the Batman, WINS for a fourth straight weekend in a row! I had to go look up the record books to find out the last time a movie won four straight weekends. The last movie to accomplish this was, get this, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King back in the winter of 2003-04.

As an aside, that flick also won eleven Academy Awards including Best Picture. So get your hopes up, Batman fans!!!! My predicted order of finish:

That’s all for this week! Back at the end of the weekend with the final roundup of the weekend’s numbers. No matter what, it promises to be a memorable result for The Dark Knight: either a fourth amazing week at the top— or the end of the line, finally.

See you then.

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