Reject Report: It’s The Simpsons, Plus Lindsay Lohan’s Stripper Movie. D’oh!

Posted by John Cairns (jcairns@filmschoolrejects.com) on July 27, 2007

Welcome to the Simpsons edition of the Reject Report, where this week we guess the estimate for how well The Simpsons Movie will do at the box office. Suffice it to say that the promotion machine is already in high gear for this movie. Already the film had its premiere in Springfield, Vermont, the winner of the Simpsons hometown competition. There have been plenty of ads running on the FOX network, hyping up the flick. As well, 7-Eleven stores in North America have been converting themselves to Kwik-E-Marts in anticipation of the big movie.

I found this out recently when I walked into a 7-Eleven and found that the place had turned into a Kwik-E-Mart, complete with Squishees instead of Slurpees, and with posters for Duff Beer on the walls. So instead of buying a Slurpee, I ended up with a Squishee. No matter, though. These are fun times for Simpsons fans.

The movie opens wide on Friday in an estimated 3,800 theaters. The plot has been a top secret— something about the Simpsons family saving the world. Arnold Schwarzenegger is supposed to be the President of the United States in this movie. That’s pretty funny in its own right. In any event, this movie is getting huge buzz and the anticipation factor is immense. Early predictions are for a big $50 million opening for The Simpsons Movie and that is my estimate of how it will do. I’m going to predict $53 million.

For those who are interested in live-action there are plenty of other alternatives this weekend.

No Reservations is opening wide on Friday after its sneak preview engagement. The film stars Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart who both work for this posh in this posh New York restaurant and fall in love. It will play in 2,300-plus cinemas and should get some good business. I am going to guess $14 million because I am convinced there’s a market out there for this kind of movie.

I Know Who Killed Me opens this week and is a thriller starring Lindsay Lohan. Speak of the devil. In a week when Lindsay Lohan is making all kinds of bad headlines for all kinds of terrible things, this movie shows up! This is otherwise better known as the infamous “Lindsay Lohan stripper movie”. Lohan plays Aubrey Fleming, a college student who vanishes without a trace, but who reawakens in a hospital claiming that she’s NOT Aubrey Fleming, but exotic dancer Dakota Moss. The real Aubrey Fleming is supposedly kidnapped and murdered. Anyway, this movie opens in about 1,200 theaters and should do about 6 million in business. I don’t think it will get much higher because, let’s face it, everyone is fed up with Lindsay Lohan! I know this is the famous Lohan “stripper movie” but people don’t care anymore. Besides, everyone is fleeing these scary movies like the plague anyway.

Finally, Who’s Your Caddy is about a superstar rap mogul who tries to join a stuffy country club. When he’s met with opposition to the idea, he goes ahead and buys the land adjacent to the 17th hole to leverage his way into the club membership. It’s the classic fish-out-of-water story, “The Street versus The Elite”. So they say, anyway. It stars Antwan Patton a.k.a. “Big Boi” as the rapper C-Note. The movie is rated R and opens wide in a thousand theaters. I say $4 million for Who’s Your Caddy.

So here are the predictions for this weekend according to yours truly:

See you this weekend when we survey the damages from what looks to be a big Simpsons weekend at the movie theaters. D’oh!

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