Movie News
Polanski Pulls Out of Pompeii
Posted by Mister Hand (misterhand@filmschoolrejects.com) on September 13, 2007
What sounds more fabulously awesome than a movie about the last days of Pompeii, directed by Roman Polanski, with production values out the yoo hoo (to the tune of $100 million)?
Nothing. That’s what. There is officially nothing on the planet that sounds more awesome than that. And if you disagree, then you need to brush up on your history. What, you hate seeing half-clothed, horny women in mini-togas? You hate seeing lots of orgiastic prelude to the violent eruption of Mt. Vesuvius?
Orgies. Sodomy. A sexual revolution to rival anything Armistead Maupin could have conceived of in his most shocking wet dream. That’s what was going on in Pompeii. That’s why they stayed there, in the shadow of a live volcano, for so many years. Pompeii was a bigass party, twenty-four seven.
And that pretty much makes Polanski the perfect man to direct the movie. Pompeii was a bed of perverts. Thus, it is all the more fitting that the movie should be helmed by one of the most famous perverts on the planet. And when I say “pervert,” I’m not making any sort of moral judgment whatsoever.
That said, did Polanski slip quaaludes to thirteen-year-old Samantha Geimer and then sexually assault her in 1977? Or was he set up for a casting couch and blackmail trap, as he asserts in his autobiography?
We may never know. Apparently, however, Polanski did set up a private photo shoot with Geimer. And maybe it’s just because I’m a hetrosexual guy, but when I read “private photo shoot,” my brain interprets that as, “Excuse to see a hot chick naked.” Except this hot chick was only thirteen years old.
Thus… pervert. And this time I am making a moral judgment. Then again, I wouldn’t want anyone seeing which clips I have chosen to download from my favorite subscription porn site over the last month. Who am I to judge Polanski when I’m sitting in front of my computer watching I Dig ‘Em in Pigtails, Vol. 9?
Alas, there’s bad news for those of us looking to get our freak on with a Pompeii movie. Polanski has backed out of the project, and the fate of the film is officially in limbo. Read more over at Variety.
No links provided for I Dig ‘Em in Pigtails, Vol. 9, as this is a family-friendly website. And if you ask me, the series has been going downhill since Vol. 5, anyway.
Read more articles by Mister Hand
3 Comments
September 13th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Wait? So.. “Orgies. Sodomy. A sexual revolution to rival anything Armistead Maupin could have conceived of in his most shocking wet dream. That’s what was going on in Pompeii.”
And this movie was rumored to be on the plates of both Orlando Bloom and Scarlett Johansson? What the hell is wrong with these people?! That would have been a perfect summer tentpole release.
They can still do it though, but I vote Ang Lee to take over as director, he is obviously not scared to go for the NC-17. Also, can we switch out Orlando Bloom with Natalie Portman? Just a thought…
September 13th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Some of the assertions I made about Pompeii came straight out of my ass. I’ll leave it to the readers to decide which did and which didn’t.
Nevertheless, I absolutely cannot imagine Scarlett Johansson in a Polanski-directed film about Pompeii and NOT getting totally naked. So yes–it’s a damned shame.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Damn it all! What a combo this might have been: Polanski and Pompeii. Polanski with his attention to detail and quest for realism, his compositions and choice of excellent cameramen, his uncanny sense of story and rythm. All possibly gone because some goddamn actors chose the wrong time to get greedy.
And, hey, never mind all that sex stuff with the girl. Why bring it up after all these years?? Let’s concentrate on the fact that this wonderfully talented filmmaker was ready to take on a terrific piece of history.