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Platinum Dunes, which has spent years plundering the Valley Of Classic Horror, has hired Frank Borin to direct its latest picture. Surprise! It’s not a remake. For once.

Variety notes “The Butcherhouse Chronicles” was originally a stage play by Michael Hidalgo. Sounding eerily like your standard slasher, dumb teens explore a creepy old building in town called “The Butcherhouse.” Yup, sounds safe to me.

The story’s gimmick is that it combines gut-busting jokes with gut-twisting shocks. The humor will supposedly be more macabre than what we’ve seen. The idea sounds awkward and challenging, especially for a company that can’t shake revamping old movies. Platinum Dunes’s rendition of Friday the 13^th will be released in February.

Borin is mainly a music video director who’s worked with The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Good Charlotte and Simple Plan. Although this isn’t his first turn at stepping out of the music video world, we still have no idea why he goes by “Buff Borin” on IMDB. But we get the feeling we should.

On a side note, do any of our readers think director Borin looks like the older brother of DJ Qualls, you know, the skinny dweeb from Road Trip?