Tweet

It’s been so long that I’ve read anything about Paris Hilton’s acting career that I was surprised to learn that she was actually out of jail and headed to the big screen. I’ll the collective groan I just heard as proof that you’re excited to see what thrilling masterpiece she’s in this year!

Hollywood Reporter wasted ink and bandwidth to bring the story that Hilton’s new vehicle “The Hottie and the Nottie” will infect theaters right around Valentine’s Day giving single people who decided to hit the megaplex for some escapism another reason to stare at that full canister of sleeping pills longingly.

A free tip to the industry: Don’t include fake words in your movie’s title. Even tweens don’t like seeing their slanguage fed back to them on celluloid.

So far, the only good that could come of this is that the movie also features Christine Lakin as “the ugly friend”. If that name seems familiar, but you can’t place it, it’s because you saw it pop up on the screen every Friday night during the mid-nineties when you rolled up onto the couch with mom and dad to watch ABC’s family friendly “Step by Step”. My crush on her was age-appropriate back then, so I have no shame in saying that she’s gorgeous. Much more gorgeous than Paris Hilton. In fact, if some creative editing can change the movie to where Hilton is the ugly friend, I’d probably actually go see it.