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That’s right, just peck my fuckin’ eyes out, please. I can’t stand to see another Hitchcock classic pointlessly remade. Gus Van Sant’s “Psycho” remake nearly did me in.

Now, rumored “The Birds” redux star Naomi Watts has broken the bad news to the good people at ShockTillYouDrop.Com. “It’s happening,” she told them, “but I haven’t read the script yet, but we’re in talks, and I hope it works out. They’re still working on it and making sure it’s just right.”

MAKING SURE IT’S JUST RIGHT? Not to be an asshole or anything, but Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes, which is slated to be remaking “The Birds,” has one lousy record of doing justice to classic horror films.

“The Amityville Horror,” “Texas Chain Saw Massacre” and “The Hitcher” were all weak-ass ghosts of their original selves.

There are two glimmers of hope, however. According to a previous Hollywood Reporter account the Platinum Dunes remake will be based directly on Daphne Du Maurier’s original short story.

Her story, inspired by the terror of the WWII Axis bombing raids over London, was quite different from Hitchcock’s film version. For starters, it’s set in England, and it shares none of the characters of Hitchcock’s film. Well, unless you count the titular birds.

Here’s Glimmer of Hope Number Two: Naomi Watts. The gifted and glamorous Watts is the equal of any of the classic Hitchcock blondes. Her performances in the remakes of both “The Ring” and “King Kong” made them watchable.

So, on second thought, please leave my eyeballs intact until further notice.