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If I told you that Jessica Alba was going to be in a movie you’d probably be mildly interested, right? But what if I then went on to inform you that the film also starred Mike Myers as an Indian guru who has to help the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs get back with his wife in time for the team to make the playoffs? At this point you are terrified, I’m sure. When I heard that my immediate first thought was, “let’s wait to see a trailer, then pass judgement.”

After seeing the trailer, which I have included for you below, I am delighted to say that my gut was right — this movie is a big pile of stank waiting to happen. Think Austin Powers: The Case of Austin’s Retarded Indian Cousin. Heck, the movie even has Verne Troyer in it — and he is awesome. The only thing that could possibly resurrect The Love Guru at this point is a gratuitous sex scene involving a very nude Jessica Alba — which also does not involve Mike Myers at all. See below for your fill of disappointment, and Jessica Alba.

The Love Guru stars Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Ben Kingsley and Romany Malco. It stumbles into theaters on June 20th.