New Photos: Meet the GI JOE Team!

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on May 8, 2008

A few looks at the principle cast of the upcoming GI JOE film have been slowly disseminating over the past month or so and were generally positive. We’ve already seen Snake Eyes, who looked picture perfect, and a hot but generic Scarlett. Now we get pretty much the whole team and it is…. Mildly disappointing. We’ve now got some higher quality looks at almost the whole team here, so take a look see below. Click any of the images below to see the big, badass, hi-res versions.

General Hawk (Dennis Quaid)

Nothing too exciting here. While nothing like the comic book, this laid back field Officer type look is pretty neutral. While I would have preferred something a bit more classic, I won’t complain about this. The belt buckle is sweet, though the camouflage pattern is kind of weak. B-

Duke (Channing Tatum)

Wow. Completely abandoning both the comic origins and the animation, we get this Snake-Eyes knock off costume for Duke. Clearly the film must be going for some sort of top secret Delta Force feel with matching uniforms and fake muscles, but this is almost too much. They even gave pretty boy Tatum a fake little scar. Make no mistake, it looks badass. Like something out of a video game. It just doesn’t look like a GI Joe. D

Snake Eyes (Ray Park)

I don’t think this is as cool as the first image, which was perfect, but Snake Eyes is still looking pretty good. The torso looks fake chiseled, but less so than the obvious chest plate armor type crap of the other suits. This badass is wearing the appropriate costume with the correct markings, and that pleases me as a fan. I’m excited for the acrobatic Ray Park to really whip some ass and dressed like this, I believe he is Snake Eyes. They did awesome here - by sticking close to the source. A

Scarlett (Rachel Nichols)

We’ve already seen a glimpse of this before, and it is what it is. She’s looking busty and red-headed, which is a good start. I didn’t mind the ninja-influences on her costume to begin with, but now that we see the entire team, clearly she is just another generic type soldier in a generic type action suit. But the crossbow is there! I’m trying to remain positive. She’s a good looking lady, and strapping her into spandex is a good idea. C+

Ripcord (Marlon Wayans)

Oh for the love of…. This just about does it. Another abandoning of the character. He doesn’t even have rope! Just another dumb padded black suit. The GI JOE team was all about individuality, really. Each character had their own style and their own manner of dress. Sure, that’s unrealistic in the armed forces, but they also had lasers. Not only does Marlon Wayans look constipated, but he is yet another addition to the lame brigade of costumes. D

Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje)

Another stock costume, but I’ll admit I am intimidated by this man. I like that they gave him a big gun, even if it is considerably smaller than the one carried in the show and comic. There’s not much more I can say about the regular Joe costumes, other than I really would have preferred more comic related outfits, though in this case I think Heavy Duty is looking pretty boss. Good casting, good gun, so-so outfit. B-

Breaker (Said Taghmaoui)

Wow. Worst costume award, definitive winner. This is disgusting, really. It looks like he is wearing a CD player on his chest, or maybe that little giggly robot from Transformers. God I hate this costume. The actor is fine, I like his work, he is good. But that giant blue-tooth Terminator headset and his day-glo chest boombox are utter crap. F

Destro (Christopher Eccleston)

Disappointment. That is not what Destro looks like, nor has he ever looked like that. Where is his ancestral helmet? It had better show up! He’s also a bit thinner and a little too much business man. I guess that does make more sense though, if they’re trying to impart a little realism to it. Because Eccleston is a good actor, I will temporarily grant them a pass on Destro, but I expect him to put on the helmet every fan knows and loves at some point during the movie, or heads, not helmets, will roll. C

Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee)

Finally, a glimmer of hope again. While mostly abandoning the comic appearance of Storm Shadow, at least this version of Tommy remains dressed in all white, carries twin swords, and looks intimidating. I’m ok with this as an updated and “realistic” version of the assassin. Pretty badass overall with a modern flare and a mask that is pretty reminiscent of the comic book, which I dig. A-

The Baroness (Sienna Miller)

Surprisingly, Baroness also looks pretty good. A little too similar to the Joes, I think, but at least its in line with what she looked like in the comics and cartoons. I appreciate that they remembered her glasses here, which add a sort of sexy school marm feel to her. I would have loved to see a giant COBRA emblem on her chest (mmmm) or belt buckle, but this will have to do. Still, one of the better looking costumes and one of the more inspired bits of casting. Totally hot, I really like this production photo. I’ll be honest, I keep coming back to look at this. Everything about this (except for the missing COBRA logo) is perfect to me, I think. Her attitude, her sexy stare, the slight flare of her boots. Damn this is a good looking woman. I might end up rooting for COBRA. A

Wrap Up

On a pure costume level, I’ve lost some faith in the movie. I will still hold out hope for some awesome action and a great ride. The costumes that work best are the ones closest to the comics, which is obvious to us fans, but apparently incomprehensible to those in charge. I don’t like the cookie cutter costumes of the Joes, but the COBRA crew is looking pretty snazzy, as is Snake Eyes. Loving the ninjas and Baroness. Mostly good casting decisions across the board though. The jury is still out on this, but I’m hoping it’s at least fun. Stay tuned for more JOE coverage.

GI JOE hits theaters on August 7th, 2009.

Read more articles by Robert Fure