Meet Broadway Jake

Posted by Josh Radde (josh@filmschoolrejects.com) on November 29, 2007

Jake Gyllenhaal has become the most recent actor to play a legendary sports star, joining the ranks of Will Smith, Russell Crowe, and John Goodman. Gyllenhaal will star in the biopic based on the career and cultural phenomenon of New York Jets’ quarterback Joe Namath. The film, approved by the Hall-of-Famer Namath, has been written by TV writer David Hollander and is to be produced by Jim Walsh (no relation to Jason Priestley’s father on “Beverly Hills 90210”).

Now, I like Gyllenhaal and everything, but this seems like a bit of a stretch for him. I just can’t see him as the iconic Namath. Mis-casting in sports movies is not anything new, however. Adam Sandler got to play a linebacker AND a quarterback and I’m pretty sure he can’t bench press 120. James Van Der Beek and “Quantum Leap” star Scott Bakula have also played quarterbacks to varying degrees of success (varying degrees of sh*t).

This most recent casting has made me wonder about three better sports stories that Hollywood needs to make:

Keanu Reeves as Rex Grossman

The film, Rex is Our Quarterback, chronicles the constant ridicule facing Chicago Bears’ quarterback Grossman and his everyday struggles to consistently pick things up with his tiny, tiny hands. Richard Roundtree will co-star as a more fired-up and angry version of Lovie Smith.

Jim Brown as Jim Brown

The film, which will star Mars Attacks star Jim Brown will be about the legendary career and uber-pimp status of Cleveland running back Jim Brown. Soundtrack will feature lots of Jim Brown.

Jake Busey as Larry Bird and Chris Paul as Magic Johnson

Not related to the Eddie Murphy/Robert De Niro movie of the same name, Showtime tells of the rivalry between Larry Bird and Magic Johnson in the 80’s. The story will finally be portrayed on the big screen by Starship Troopers star Jake Busey as Boston Celtic Larry Bird and New Orleans Hornets’ enigmatic point guard Chris Paul as L.A. Laker Ervin “Magic” Johnson (kind of like how Ray Allen starred in He Got Game). The film will begin with the classic 1979 NCAA championship pitting Johnson’s Michigan State vs. Bird’s Indiana State, will highlight each of their 80’s NBA championships they played against each other, and will culminate in the two of them uniting for the 1992 “Dream Team” when Magic Johnson had already learned that he contracted HIV.

Actually, this sounds like a damn good movie. You heard it here first.

Read more articles by Josh Radde