Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark

Oh… my… GOD! COME ON SOSA! What’s the matter with you? DINOSAURS WITH GUNS sounds like the kewlest JURASSIC PARK ever!! I’m dead serious, I haven’t been this excited about a movie since Peter Jackson’s April Fool’s Joke about a KING KONG sequel set on an island with Nazi mad scientists. I mean, really–Jackson’s April Fool’s Joke would have been ten times better than his KONG remake if it was real.

Just in case you’re wondering, there’s not a smidge of sarcasm in what I wrote above. And I’m really being serious. I can’t wait to see Dern go toe-to-toe with a mini-gun-wielding velociraptor.

“What… does a Tyrannasaurus Rex… LOOK like?!”

“Wh–what?”

“What ain’t no paddock I ever heard of!”

Hey, does anyone remember those cartoon movies/series Dino Riders. Set in the distant future, the good guys are chasing some evil alien guys back in time and they crash land in prehistoric earth. Without fuel (and their equivalency of a flux capacitor) they use crystals to mind control the dinosaurs and adapt their laser beam weapons to be controlled by the dinosaurs. The good guys get all the herbivore dinosaurs (brontosaurus, stegosaurus), while the bad guys control all of the carnivores (t-rex, raptor). Why dont we just make THIS movie instead, live action of course.

Seconded on the Serious Sam observation, Alex–and don’t forget TUROK.

Considering that JP has been a serious series up until now, I would hope that, if this is indeed the final plot, they tackle some serious issues.

Personally, I hope they put an Metal Gear Solid spin on it, with dinos being brought up by multiple army groups for war. Also preferable, a Middle East setting. Why? Because if they use dinos in combat, I think a place where war is occuring would be the best spot for their use.

Unfortunately you’d have to have a pretty gung-ho cast for such a serious story, which could lead to problems with the whole “unsuspecting scientists and tourists attempt to escape dinos” premise which has been the hallmark of the series.

It will be interesting to see what they do. What I’m envisioning is Transformers in the Middle East w/ dinos instead of robots.

Let’s not forget that SLJ already appeared in JP1.

Oh, yeah–let’s not forget that John Sayles is writing this thing. Sayles is no dummy.

Sounds intresting, but Samuel Jackson died in the first Jurrasic Park already. How could you you miss him? He was the only black dude in the movie! But at least he wasn’t the first one to die.

This sounds like the best movie idea since moves were invented.

Has it occurred to anyone that the original premise was useing technology to clone the dinosaurs in the first place so naturally it’d have to be a mutha fuka sam jackson clone!

I say they clone Laura so that she has an evil - might as well keep all the cliches going.

It’s a movie, they can do whatever they like… if they wanna bring the Jackson back, let them.

Bill Paxton dies in both an Alien movie, and a Predator movie… they both exist in the same universe in AVP…. I think it would be awesome if they cast Bill Paxton in AVP2

[…] officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler here as Sam Neill will NOT return. […]

Its been done.

Check out D-War coming out in December. Its a korean movie but with some pretty nice CG. Basically dinosaurs with missle launchers strapped to their backs and stuff.

http://www.d-war.com/

Now, of course, all they need are some aliens and a Native American with a bow that fires exploding arrows, among other insane weaponry, and we’d have a totally different (but awesome) franchise on our hands.

Regarding d-war:

Someone call the Boss of Show Business. The best film ever is already in production. No need to proceed with any further moviemaking.

That is all.

[…] Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark - ‘Jurassic Park IV’ Story Details Revealed, Casting […]

[…] Can’t an Evil Development Exec who’s completely out of sequel ideas get some frickin’ velociraptors with frickin’ laser beams on their backs? [Film School Rejects] […]

[…] dangerously close to Dr. Evil ’s “sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.”read more | digg story Filed under Uncategorized having Leave a […]

in all seriousness, please, don’t make this movie

[…] Film School Rejects.com […]

[…] From Film School Rejects - in reference to the recently released plot summary from Jurassic 4. […]

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Take this one with a HUGE grain of salt… This idea (and script) was passed around a couple years ago and nothing ever happened with it. AICN (if I remember correctly) even did a script review, which was fairly good as long as it had nothing to do with the JP franchise and was just your basic super dinosaur commando unit of death movie…

[…] to be sedated shot in the head, by a dinosaur. Speaking of which, have you heard about the new Jurassic Park movie? I personally think it’s the best idea ever, if bears can have guns why can’t […]

Does anyone remember the Dino toys with weapons on them? I think someone mentioned them but I LOVED the toys as a kid.

That would be an awesome mindless movie.

You guys are thinking small with all of your tail cannons and rocket shooting arms. If they bring back Sam “Bad Motherfucker” Jackson, he could be a bionic zombie leading all of the dinosaurs. The dinos could have flames that shoot out of their mouths like GO-ZIRRA, and since they are so big, they could have individual rocket cannons for fingers. Then eyes that shoot laser beams and atomic warheads on Cruise missles strapped to thier backs. They could also shoot flames out of thier ass to get what the mouth flame shooters missed. Then their tail could be like a Vulcan gun so that it shoots thousands of rounds per second at everything. Then their skin could be some kind of exotic alien metal bullet/bomb proof covering. And then they could fight Mothra and Dick Cheney in a WWE Smackdown Cage Match (my money is on Cheney thought, what is it, 200 heart attacks and still going!! That is one tough motherfucker himself). But at the end, they could all escape across the hills into Switzawand away from the Nazis and then blow up an asteroid that is heading for Earth. NOW THATS A MOVIE!!

I liked it the first time………WHEN IT WAS CALLED “DINORIDERS”!!!!!

si me entendes el idioma mejor no va a ser eso que todos dicen nada que ver es sobre la extincion que no se dan cuenta?

[…] Jurassic Park 4 […]

sounds like the world will need mel gibson to defend it once again.

ALSO WE NEED SAM NEIL BACK!!!!!! HE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS ALONG WITH LEX AND TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

random nonsense……

ok….so Bill Paxton was killed in predator / aliens (james cameron) / and terminator(james cameron/arnold)……and so was Lance Henrikson..!!..and Lance Henrikson was in the Omen, and so then was Sam Neill, Sam Neill turns down a role in Lord of the rings as he’s doing Jurassic three…..in which he;s approached by William h Macy….he was incidentally in The 1998 remake of Psycho…the psycho being played by Vince Vaughn…he was also cast in Jurassic Park the lost world….he stared in the cell, with Jennifer Lopez, that was directed by Tarsem Singh…and he’s pencilled to remake the film….Westworld……now that was written by none other than Micheal Crichton….the same author as Jurassic park…..this is weird……

Bloody Disgusting what are you talking about. Dinosaurs can not carry weapons you bastard. it is about a disease that the Dinosaurs have and the humans are trying to stop the disease from getting to them

and JP man the diesease that they had was like mad cow disease and they said could not spread to humans in the second book and the second book is nothing like the second movie and the second movie is more less a contiuned sub-plot of the first book only the part that is relatively the same is some of the things that happens on site b which in the book dinosaurs never go to the town and cause destruction which was a problem in the first book which they had to keep form happening

Any1 Know when Jurassic park 4 will be out omg ill be telling all my friends and my family ill be watching it at the movies when it comes out first off i wanna see it b4 anyone else does omg i wanna see it now awww i love dinosaurs i wanna see this movies.
1. i reckon maybe a Velociraptor should kill the T-Rex and then another T-Rex should come and kill the Velociraptors for killing the other T-Rex but you dont have to listen to me im only 11 well any way bye.

I CANT WAIT TO SEE JURASSIC PARK 4!!!

Well, if all the rumors are true, it’s going to be a flop.

Universal Pictures has officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler here as Sam Neill will NOT return. We’re told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.

This is dangerously close to Dr. Evil’s “sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.”

The only way I can see this working is if they cast Snakes on a Plane veteran Samuel Jackson opposite Laura Dern, and fully embrace the cheese.

I am a massive fan of Jurassic park, dinosaurs Rock but as I heard of the Plot of Jurassic park 4 I was shocked to hear that they are scripting Dinosaurs with guns I Cant understand how Dinosaurs could possibly master to hold a gun
Ill have to say its a bit childish, and the fact that Sam Niel (Alen Grant) refused the script in Jurassic park 4, He’s the main and best character in Jurassic park, Maybe they should think twice about the plot they have published.

umm…Dinosaurs with guns…your right james,how could a dinosaur grab a gun?

Ok, first of all I think this film would be a great idea, but, there are some things I have
heard about this film that would make it go down the drain.
First the dinos need to stay on the island, if they leave the island and come on to the
mainland with guns it would be like godzilla and transformers combined and that would
suck. Secondly Jurassic Park can’t be Jurassic Park without Jurassic Park, heck you might as
well just call it Jurassic city.
Third the story line is a little weird, they just need to bring back the original characters with
speilberg behind the directors seat and come up with a brilliant plan to make this one the
ultimate ride.

Sory guys no dinos with guns . But come on dinos with guns its like if we put lightsaber from starwars in jp4 ! But i mean a spino + veloci raptor and tyranosaurus in the city ,now thats what i call a movie about dinosaurs!

Jurassic park 4 is not going to be about dinos with guns that was a scrap plot. idk what its going to be about but thank god its not about that. I know because I own that stupid script.