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Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark

Posted by J.L. Sosa (jorge@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 13, 2007

jp4.jpg

It’s official. The “Jurassic Park” franchise is as good as extinct.

Bloody-Disgusting has revealed some plot speculation for the fourth film.

From Bloody-Disgusting:

Universal Pictures has officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler here as Sam Neill will NOT return. We’re told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.

This is dangerously close to Dr. Evil’s “sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.”

The only way I can see this working is if they cast Snakes on a Plane veteran Samuel Jackson opposite Laura Dern, and fully embrace the cheese.


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84 Comments

Mister Hand says:

Oh… my… GOD! COME ON SOSA! What’s the matter with you? DINOSAURS WITH GUNS sounds like the kewlest JURASSIC PARK ever!! I’m dead serious, I haven’t been this excited about a movie since Peter Jackson’s April Fool’s Joke about a KING KONG sequel set on an island with Nazi mad scientists. I mean, really–Jackson’s April Fool’s Joke would have been ten times better than his KONG remake if it was real.

Just in case you’re wondering, there’s not a smidge of sarcasm in what I wrote above. And I’m really being serious. I can’t wait to see Dern go toe-to-toe with a mini-gun-wielding velociraptor.


Kevin Carr says:

Sam Jackson would be an awesome addition. If you remember, he was killed in the original Jurassic Park…. but maybe he could come back as a genetic Sam Jackson/Velociraptor hybrid, running around shreiking, “EEEEEEeeeeeeaaaa! Muthu Fucka!”


Mister Hand says:

“What… does a Tyrannasaurus Rex… LOOK like?!”

“Wh–what?”

What ain’t no paddock I ever heard of!”


Live TV says:

For the love of god, please make this film. CGI Dinos + Guns + war of the dinos vs humans = box office smash.


Dave Mek says:

Hey, does anyone remember those cartoon movies/series Dino Riders. Set in the distant future, the good guys are chasing some evil alien guys back in time and they crash land in prehistoric earth. Without fuel (and their equivalency of a flux capacitor) they use crystals to mind control the dinosaurs and adapt their laser beam weapons to be controlled by the dinosaurs. The good guys get all the herbivore dinosaurs (brontosaurus, stegosaurus), while the bad guys control all of the carnivores (t-rex, raptor). Why dont we just make THIS movie instead, live action of course.


Alex says:

Serious Sam 2 had half robot half dinosaurs with rocket launchers for arms, and for the record… IT ROCKED!!!


Mister Hand says:

Seconded on the Serious Sam observation, Alex–and don’t forget TUROK.


DogofWar says:

Considering that JP has been a serious series up until now, I would hope that, if this is indeed the final plot, they tackle some serious issues.

Personally, I hope they put an Metal Gear Solid spin on it, with dinos being brought up by multiple army groups for war. Also preferable, a Middle East setting. Why? Because if they use dinos in combat, I think a place where war is occuring would be the best spot for their use.

Unfortunately you’d have to have a pretty gung-ho cast for such a serious story, which could lead to problems with the whole “unsuspecting scientists and tourists attempt to escape dinos” premise which has been the hallmark of the series.

It will be interesting to see what they do.


DogofWar says:

Considering that JP has been a serious series up until now, I would hope that, if this is indeed the final plot, they tackle some serious issues.

Personally, I hope they put an Metal Gear Solid spin on it, with dinos being brought up by multiple army groups for war. Also preferable, a Middle East setting. Why? Because if they use dinos in combat, I think a place where war is occuring would be the best spot for their use.

Unfortunately you’d have to have a pretty gung-ho cast for such a serious story, which could lead to problems with the whole “unsuspecting scientists and tourists attempt to escape dinos” premise which has been the hallmark of the series.

It will be interesting to see what they do. What I’m envisioning is Transformers in the Middle East w/ dinos instead of robots.


Andrew says:

as cool as this sounds there is still waaaaaaaay too much potential for a really stupid movie.


Ned says:

Let’s not forget that SLJ already appeared in JP1.


Troy says:

IMDB.com notes

Proposed story ideas included the discovery of a deadly prehistoric disease that the revival of the dinosaurs inflicted and which threatens to wipe out the entire human race.

One of the ideas featured a group of soldiers that were genetically crossed humans and dinosaurs. This was proposed by John Sayles.


Mister Hand says:

Oh, yeah–let’s not forget that John Sayles is writing this thing. Sayles is no dummy.


Samuel Motherfucking Jackson says:

I’m sick of these MOTHERFUCKING dinos with these MOTHERFUCKING guns


Mark says:

Sounds intresting, but Samuel Jackson died in the first Jurrasic Park already. How could you you miss him? He was the only black dude in the movie! But at least he wasn’t the first one to die.


Dave says:

They can’t - they already killed of Samuel “BMF” Jackson in Jurassic Park I….


Gray Fox says:

This sounds like the best movie idea since moves were invented.


Gray Fox says:

This sounds like the best movie idea since movies were invented.


yoyo says:

Has it occurred to anyone that the original premise was useing technology to clone the dinosaurs in the first place so naturally it’d have to be a mutha fuka sam jackson clone!

I say they clone Laura so that she has an evil - might as well keep all the cliches going.


yoyo says:

Has it occurred to anyone that the original premise was useing technology to clone the dinosaurs in the first place so naturally it’d have to be a mutha fuka sam jackson clone!

I say they clone Laura so that she has an evil twin - might as well keep all the cliches going.


DINO says:

It’s a movie, they can do whatever they like… if they wanna bring the Jackson back, let them.

Bill Paxton dies in both an Alien movie, and a Predator movie… they both exist in the same universe in AVP…. I think it would be awesome if they cast Bill Paxton in AVP2


Mister Hand says:

Alien versus Predator versus T-Rex. Now THERE’S a frickin’ movie.

My money’s on the genetically enhanced T-Rex with the plasma cannon arm and the tail that shoots missiles.


Jurassic Park IV - Dinosaurs with frickin lazerz! Pew pew pew! | Big News About Movies says:

[…] officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler here as Sam Neill will NOT return. […]


LetLive says:

LEt go kills us some mutha fucking robot dinosaurs!!!


Peter says:

Its been done.

Check out D-War coming out in December. Its a korean movie but with some pretty nice CG. Basically dinosaurs with missle launchers strapped to their backs and stuff.

http://www.d-war.com/


Peter says:

oops I mean September..sorry


Wunderbear says:

Now, of course, all they need are some aliens and a Native American with a bow that fires exploding arrows, among other insane weaponry, and we’d have a totally different (but awesome) franchise on our hands.


Thatsnotimportant says:

Hell yeah sound like dinoriders


Mister Hand says:

Regarding d-war:

Someone call the Boss of Show Business. The best film ever is already in production. No need to proceed with any further moviemaking.

That is all.


Jon Johns says:

This rumoured plot line has been bouncing around the internet for literally years so I doubt this is the final script. I am guessing this is a fake script.


Jurassic Park 4 — RegioBlogs says:

[…] Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark - ‘Jurassic Park IV’ Story Details Revealed, Casting […]


WaReHouSe says:

Dino Riders ne1


The Death Of A Franchise - Defamer says:

[…] Can’t an Evil Development Exec who’s completely out of sequel ideas get some frickin’ velociraptors with frickin’ laser beams on their backs? [Film School Rejects] […]


The Death Of A Franchise: Can’t an Evil Development Exec who’s completely … at says:

[…] Can’t an Evil Development Exec who’s completely out of sequel ideas get some frickin’ velociraptors with frickin’ laser beams on their backs? [Film School Rejects] […]


VidTiger - Watch the web’s best videos » Blog Archive » Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark says:

[…] dangerously close to Dr. Evil ’s “sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.”read more | digg story Filed under Uncategorized having Leave a […]


velpecula says:

video of the dinosaur workshop for jurassic park 4.
awesome parts: the rediculously awesomec raptor suit and the automated dino face off near the end.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hmp79c7CpNA


gbombs82 says:

in all seriousness, please, don’t make this movie


Ways I’d Like to die #2: Dinosaurs with Laser Beams « The Silent LOL says:

[…] Like to die #2: Dinosaurs with Laser Beams | Aug 15th 2007 So after reading this article about possible Jurassic Park 4 plotlines, I realized that perhaps the government SHOULD get dinosaurs with lazers. After all, you can send […]


Cult Moo » Blog Archive » LOL!!1 says:

[…] Film School Rejects.com […]


mikeyg says:

this is Jurassic park not turock


The Daily Stick » 08.15.07 says:

[…] From Film School Rejects - in reference to the recently released plot summary from Jurassic 4. […]


Kal says:

Anyone remember Dino-Riders? God I miss the 80s.


Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark « Dawnapfeifer’s Weblog says:

[…] read more | digg story […]


rob says:

you know i’ed actalualy like to see this film but an action film of this cheese factor can only have one star the govornator himself pointing his shoulder mounted rocket launcher at a dinosaure before quiping “your extinct” and leting fly.


ColeBastich says:

Take this one with a HUGE grain of salt… This idea (and script) was passed around a couple years ago and nothing ever happened with it. AICN (if I remember correctly) even did a script review, which was fairly good as long as it had nothing to do with the JP franchise and was just your basic super dinosaur commando unit of death movie…


Creatipity says:

I’d like to see the film/plot come full circle.
Undo the work of the scientists and put these creatures to rest.

It would work for the story and the franchise itself.


MonkeyStar » I’ve seem to have lost count, and my mind says:

[…] to be sedated shot in the head, by a dinosaur. Speaking of which, have you heard about the new Jurassic Park movie? I personally think it’s the best idea ever, if bears can have guns why can’t […]


Echelonist says:

What about training them to search for IRAQ WMD ?


rezonate says:

Does anyone remember the Dino toys with weapons on them? I think someone mentioned them but I LOVED the toys as a kid.

That would be an awesome mindless movie.


Tim Ritchie says:

Greatest movie ever.


Shark with frickin' laser beams says:

You guys are thinking small with all of your tail cannons and rocket shooting arms. If they bring back Sam “Bad Motherfucker” Jackson, he could be a bionic zombie leading all of the dinosaurs. The dinos could have flames that shoot out of their mouths like GO-ZIRRA, and since they are so big, they could have individual rocket cannons for fingers. Then eyes that shoot laser beams and atomic warheads on Cruise missles strapped to thier backs. They could also shoot flames out of thier ass to get what the mouth flame shooters missed. Then their tail could be like a Vulcan gun so that it shoots thousands of rounds per second at everything. Then their skin could be some kind of exotic alien metal bullet/bomb proof covering. And then they could fight Mothra and Dick Cheney in a WWE Smackdown Cage Match (my money is on Cheney thought, what is it, 200 heart attacks and still going!! That is one tough motherfucker himself). But at the end, they could all escape across the hills into Switzawand away from the Nazis and then blow up an asteroid that is heading for Earth. NOW THATS A MOVIE!!


RE: Shark with frickin' laser beams says:

Win.


Kluck, Warren says:

I liked it the first time………WHEN IT WAS CALLED “DINORIDERS”!!!!!


Gman says:

What a stupid idea for a Jurassic Park movie.Hollywood has just been a shit factory except for some movies this year.


marcos sastre says:

si me entendes el idioma mejor no va a ser eso que todos dicen nada que ver es sobre la extincion que no se dan cuenta?


chencho says:

This reminds me of the Dino Saucers cartoon



nin says:

Well if this is the plot they are goin with, this will certainly be the final nail in the coffin for Jurassic Park. The third one sent the franchise into ‘danger zone’ with it’s stupid plot-holes, cheap story and absolutely ridiculous ending….this one seems sure do to Jurassic Park what ‘Jaws 3-D’ and ‘The Revenge’ did to Speilberg’s other masterpiece! We all remember that now don’t we! …well we try not to!


MadMortigan says:

sounds like the world will need mel gibson to defend it once again.


Corey Cook says:

This sounds kinda like D-War Dragon Wars


Corey Cook says:

ALSO WE NEED SAM NEIL BACK!!!!!! HE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS ALONG WITH LEX AND TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jurassic Park Jumps the Shark « Movies says:

[…] read more | digg story […]


johnjohntyjohn says:

random nonsense……

ok….so Bill Paxton was killed in predator / aliens (james cameron) / and terminator(james cameron/arnold)……and so was Lance Henrikson..!!..and Lance Henrikson was in the Omen, and so then was Sam Neill, Sam Neill turns down a role in Lord of the rings as he’s doing Jurassic three…..in which he;s approached by William h Macy….he was incidentally in The 1998 remake of Psycho…the psycho being played by Vince Vaughn…he was also cast in Jurassic Park the lost world….he stared in the cell, with Jennifer Lopez, that was directed by Tarsem Singh…and he’s pencilled to remake the film….Westworld……now that was written by none other than Micheal Crichton….the same author as Jurassic park…..this is weird……


Matt says:

Is it me or does this smell of crapped-out fermented Limburger cheese here?

I can only hope this is a hoax or just some lame misdirection. I mean what’s next… “Dinos on a Plane” staring Samuel L. Jackson and the entire cast of Bay Watch, all in Wicked Weasel transparent-when-wet-micro-mini-bikinis (including David Hasle Hof [in a speedo and sock] and Kitt in an RC-mini transformer body).

“I can’t stand these motha f***ing Ceratops Horridus’ on this motha f***ing plane”

Oh… and Hollywood, if you steel that idea and it actually works… I had dibs on it. If/when it dies… you’re on your own.


Jpman says:

Bloody Disgusting what are you talking about. Dinosaurs can not carry weapons you bastard. it is about a disease that the Dinosaurs have and the humans are trying to stop the disease from getting to them


NMMman says:

WEll if sam come backs its ok because if any of you guys ever read the books ian malcom dies in the first book…and comes back in the second book explaining that he was only “slightly dead” and he is back and also in the first book Hammond Dies!


NMMman says:

and JP man the diesease that they had was like mad cow disease and they said could not spread to humans in the second book and the second book is nothing like the second movie and the second movie is more less a contiuned sub-plot of the first book only the part that is relatively the same is some of the things that happens on site b which in the book dinosaurs never go to the town and cause destruction which was a problem in the first book which they had to keep form happening


james says:

i cant wait for the new Jurassic Park and i am going to talk about the arguments.
1.The idea of dinosaurs going to the city.Its really cool and i dont know why most people even complain about it unless they just hate Jurassic Park or just want friends.
2.The T-rex killing the Spino.That would boost up the popularity of the film by miles and i have nothing against the Spino but he should be killed in this film but then again the argument comes in of wheter niether dino should be in the film now com’on thats just stupid.
3.Keira Knigthely in JP4.Nothing much to say about that just that its going to be fun watching her being chased by raptors and then again other people say why should she be in the film


Selwyn says:

Any1 Know when Jurassic park 4 will be out omg ill be telling all my friends and my family ill be watching it at the movies when it comes out first off i wanna see it b4 anyone else does omg i wanna see it now awww i love dinosaurs i wanna see this movies.
1. i reckon maybe a Velociraptor should kill the T-Rex and then another T-Rex should come and kill the Velociraptors for killing the other T-Rex but you dont have to listen to me im only 11 well any way bye.

I CANT WAIT TO SEE JURASSIC PARK 4!!!


raptor lee rex says:

what they might could do is put dragon in it and have a big dino dragon fight


batman83 says:

Well, if all the rumors are true, it’s going to be a flop.


JURASSIC PARK 4 says:

i cant wait for the new Jurassic Park and i am going to talk about the arguments.
1.The idea of dinosaurs going to the city.Its really cool and i dont know why most people even complain about it unless they just hate Jurassic Park or just want friends.
2.The T-rex killing the Spino.That would boost up the popularity of the film by miles and i have nothing against the Spino but he should be killed in this film but then again the argument comes in of wheter niether dino should be in the film now com’on thats just stupid.
3.Keira Knigthely in JP4.Nothing much to say about that just that its going to be fun watching her being chased by raptors and then again other people say why should she be in the film


JURASSIC PARK 4 says:

Universal Pictures has officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler here as Sam Neill will NOT return. We’re told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.

This is dangerously close to Dr. Evil’s “sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.”

The only way I can see this working is if they cast Snakes on a Plane veteran Samuel Jackson opposite Laura Dern, and fully embrace the cheese.


Yellow Hat17 says:

Yeah… it’s Easter but I came upon this while checking my Email (In a forward)
So, I want to pitch in and say the similarity to “Turok: Dinosaur Hunter”
Now if I’m not mistaken, I think they’re making that :-D


James says:

I am a massive fan of Jurassic park, dinosaurs Rock but as I heard of the Plot of Jurassic park 4 I was shocked to hear that they are scripting Dinosaurs with guns I Cant understand how Dinosaurs could possibly master to hold a gun
Ill have to say its a bit childish, and the fact that Sam Niel (Alen Grant) refused the script in Jurassic park 4, He’s the main and best character in Jurassic park, Maybe they should think twice about the plot they have published.


Pingo says:

I am a fan of Jurassic Park,I was waiting years for this movie,and i need to stay waiting


Pingo says:

umm…Dinosaurs with guns…your right james,how could a dinosaur grab a gun?


Pingo says:

But i dont think they maked dinosaurs with guns…are you sure theyre going to be dinosaurs with guns?


Jordan says:

Ok, first of all I think this film would be a great idea, but, there are some things I have
heard about this film that would make it go down the drain.
First the dinos need to stay on the island, if they leave the island and come on to the
mainland with guns it would be like godzilla and transformers combined and that would
suck. Secondly Jurassic Park can’t be Jurassic Park without Jurassic Park, heck you might as
well just call it Jurassic city.
Third the story line is a little weird, they just need to bring back the original characters with
speilberg behind the directors seat and come up with a brilliant plan to make this one the
ultimate ride.


GABRIEL JOURNEAUX says:

Ther will not be any dinos with guns . The story will be about company called biosin that is bringing dinos on to the main land.I repet no dinos with guns.


GABRIEL JOURNEAUX says:

Sory guys no dinos with guns . But come on dinos with guns its like if we put lightsaber from starwars in jp4 ! But i mean a spino + veloci raptor and tyranosaurus in the city ,now thats what i call a movie about dinosaurs!


warrior says:

c’mon guns, lazers on dinos? that is very stupid!!!! it wont even make sense with the other storys from jps. i thought this was the last movie? they just gonna killed the movie. just film it how it was with the other jp’s.


kai says:

Jurassic park 4 is not going to be about dinos with guns that was a scrap plot. idk what its going to be about but thank god its not about that. I know because I own that stupid script.


kai says:

besides the scrapped plot was not damn dinosaurs with guns strapped to them it was about dinosaur hybrids and thankfully not mixed with humans just birds and stuff.


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