‘Beer in Hell’ Trailer Will Date Rape You

Posted by Dr. Cole Abaius (cole.abaius@filmschoolrejects.com) on August 4, 2009

tucker-max-movie-header

Consider this a public warning or a cautionary tale. Last night was my birthday as some of you out there (Greg, the stalker) know. We had a solid little shin dig here at Reject HQ that involved homemade lasagna and a bottle of Dom that Neil has been saving for a special occasion. A close group of great friends, a life-size Danny DeVito pinata, and the entire DVD set of The Super Mario Brothers Super Show later – and everyone was thoroughly ready to crash out.

Luckily, or so I thought, the new I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell Trailer was cool enough to stay and hang out with me when everyone left. We tossed in my new DVD set of “Sports Night” (Thanks Dave and Emily!) and sat down on the couch. He moved closer. I started to feel a little light headed. I was coming down from my buzz, but I still felt woozy. Everything started to go black.

And then the I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell trailer date raped me.

I don’t want this to happen to anyone else out there, so please, please take a good hard look at what the perp looks like so that if you spot him on the street, you can avoid his sleazy gaze:

And, as you can probably guess from the bland nature of the trailer, it was awful in bed.

The bright side is that the movie looks just about as funny as the book. So, about as funny as the time I got that hemorrhoid on my face.

Don’t judge me. It happens sometimes.

The flick stars Jesse Bradford, Traci Lords, and Matt Zcuchry as Tucker Max – based on the book by Tucker Max – screenplay co-written by Tucker Max.

What do you think? Is that even medically possible?

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Sean Finn

Calling it "How to Be a Douche and Alienate People" seems like it would be a more accurate title.

gary_p

The movie is worse than the trailer, if that's possible. If you don't believe me, take a look at the script:

http://rapidshare.com/files/135879102/IHTSBIH.p...

Just read the first scene, when the Tucker Max character screams "DON'T TAZE ME BRO" as a punch line. Yes, the script is really that retarded.

calgaryshottest

How was that the punchline? The whole scene revolves around Tucker getting caught by the cops, while screwing a hot deaf chick. I would say that's the punchline, and that's why it's funny.....

gary_p

Oh. I get it now. Very funny indeed. He's having sex with a deaf girl. Later in the movie he has sex with a midget. And in the last scene, he's hitting up on a blind girl.

I suppose for a sequel Tucker will attempt to fornicate with an entire circus freak show, or try bestiality. That's the punch line then: Where can Tucker can insert his penis.

calgaryshottest

exactly bro, I'm so glad you got it!!! Probs not the whole circus but at least a couple of flame jugglers and a clown would be sick!!

FlipperGeorge

You have to understand that some people like this kind of movie. I don't understand such people, but they do exist in large numbers and that is a fact I have to worry about, every day.
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Beer of the Month Club

zerosum0101

I really think this movie looks boring. Maybe I wasn't following the trailer here but the main story line is they go to an expensive strip club and shit happens? I wouldn't mind watching a TV show based on a character like this but turning it into a single story about debauchery just comes off as extremely tired and lame.

justadude

Sigh... It date raped you and then you tricked me into letting it in to my house. I should punch you in the face. 2:23 of a bad lay that I never want back. Why did you post this?

JDV

Have any of you read the book? It was sporadically funny and mostly offensive (which can be sporadically funny).

This movie? It looks like shit. Boring, poorly acted shit. Just from the trailer I recalled utterances of similar phrases from the book and I'm not convinced the leads can pull it off.

BlackManJew

Have to say I like the book.. but my black @ss is not impressed with this trailer. This movie looks like one of those made for dvd American Pie spinoffs...

‘Beer in Hell’ Trailer Will Date Rape You

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